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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I still can't believe I'm pregnant and nothing seems to be going wrong

44 replies

duchesse · 24/01/2009 11:05

I'm practically 12 weeks, and still no bleeding, no cramps, only a very little nausea and tiredness. I feel better than I do with PMT... It has taken 5.5 years, a mmc at 13 weeks and quite a few chemical/ very early miscarriages to get here. When is it all going to go wrong?

12 week scan on Thursday. Am very scared they'll find no heartbeat.

OP posts:

electra · 24/01/2009 11:09

Oh, poor you. Try not to worry and good luck for Thurday xx

Northernlurker · 24/01/2009 11:13

Duchesse - sometimes things go wrong - but sometimes, lots of times, they go right too. Praying you get very good news on Thursday - hang in there.

norksinmywaistband · 24/01/2009 11:14

Understandably you are anxious, but remember it does happen you are proof of that.

Will you believe it after thursday? Dsis had a similar history( she has just had her third dc ) and refused to really acknowledge it til DN was in her arms.
Please try and relax and enjoy the Pg.

Disenchanted3 · 24/01/2009 11:14

Wishing you all the luck for your scan

Lemontart · 24/01/2009 11:17

Oh I really know where you are coming from! It is just horrible balancing the worry/disbelief/fear/dread/excitement/fleeting optimism that crashes down into cynicism etc etc. The cliched phrase "rollercoaster ride of pregnancy" is painfully true.

Hope you find plenty of distractions and opportunities to relax before Thursday. I know it feels like a long time to wait but it will arrive soon enough. Will be thinking of you - let us all know how the scan goes xxx

MauriceDancer · 24/01/2009 11:21

oh poor you, and lucky you...

i had two ectopic pregnancies prior to conceiving dds1 and 2, i really couldn't bond with them (except in the most fleeting, exciting moments and then i'd curse myself for jinxing it) until i found out what gender they were at 20 weeks. it was only ever after that scan that i felt like i could even half-believe that it was going to happen.

i hope so much for you that everything works out, something changes, an optimism goes when you lose pregnancies and have a difficult time. but when they get her... oh lord, you cannot believe how lucky you are.

Original poster

duchesse · 24/01/2009 11:35

I just can't believe that after so many problems, it seems to be going so smoothly. I think I may feel a little more reassured after the scan.

OP posts:

MauriceDancer · 24/01/2009 11:37

i hope so.

Cryptoprocta · 24/01/2009 11:39

Duchesse - my experience was that I'd feel reassured for about an hour or two after a scan or MW appt with heartbeat thingy, then back to worrying until the next appt.

The sonagrapher who checked me at 7 weeks because of bleeding asked if this was a wanted pregnancy because I sobbed so hard when she found a heartbeat. I hadn't allowed myself to consider for a second that things could be OK.

Sometimes I still can't believe that DD is here. It makes the heartache all worth it.

Will keep everything crossed for you.

OracleInaCoracle · 24/01/2009 12:03

duchesse, my love, i know how hard you are finding this and i know that you won't believe it until you are holding your wee one. i won't say anything trite like "i know everything will be ok" but i am here for you no matter how thursday goes (but am surrepticiously crossing everything and feeling confident that your rotten luck has finally ended)

daisyj · 24/01/2009 12:07

duchesse - if you'd like to, come and join us here:

Pregnancy After Miscarriage Part VII - Gusset Reporters and Knicker Checkers welcome

None of us really believes it's all OK

Sorry, am rubbish at posting links, but hopefully you'll find it.

Good luck.

pamelat · 24/01/2009 14:51

Good luck for Thursday

Original poster

duchesse · 24/01/2009 14:51

Thanks everyone. I know I'm just being needy and should pull myself together, but I know there's always someone who will understand on here. Have told so few people in RL about this pregnancy that it still doesn't seem real.

OP posts:

LadyPinkofPinkerton · 24/01/2009 14:56

Good luck for your scan Duchesse. I truly hope all goes well for you.

babbi · 24/01/2009 15:00

I totally understand how you feel.
I was similarly focussing on all the things that might go wrong as I was so scared to believe it was true.
My consultant eventually directed me towards a window (we live in a big city) and said "all those people out there in that crowd are the result of a successful pregnancy !"
Only then did I realise that chances were in my favour and everything was more than likely going to be ok . I now have DD who is 3.
Good luck and take care of yourself and try to relax XXXX

catsmother · 24/01/2009 15:03

Wishing you every success for your scan, and that you'll then be able to finally relax and enjoy your pregnancy.

I've had 3 m/cs, 2 within 3 months of each other at the end of last year and though I am still TTC, what you're going through now is what I dread (with every trip to the loo petrifying) if I am lucky enough to fall again .... but you have no choice do you if you want a baby.

roulade · 24/01/2009 15:54

Good luck Duchesse, keeping evrything crossed for you for thursday!

ScummyMummy · 24/01/2009 16:02

Really really hope the scan will confirm that everything's going right, duchesse.

CharCharGabor · 24/01/2009 16:05

Fingers crossed for you duchesse

Wonderstuff · 24/01/2009 16:07

Best of luck for thursday. It took us several years and a mmc, but my lovely dd is 14mo now The first trimester is the pits, i was convinced every day it was all going to go wrong, i think i started to relax a little bit after the 12 week scan. Going in, when we had had such awful news before was very scary. After i was able to feel the baby move and got bigger it started to feel real for me.
Keepi ng everything crossed for you

Lemontart · 26/01/2009 19:26

just thinking of you are hoping everything is ok for Thursday - not long to go now

Original poster

duchesse · 26/01/2009 20:47

Thanks Lemon- I'm pretty certain I've been able to feel kicking for the last few days. I tend to feel kicks pretty early on (I did with the other three anyway). I hope I'm not imagining it this time (don't think I am) but that would be good news anyway...

OP posts:

Original poster

duchesse · 29/01/2009 15:09

Well, i've had my scan and am sitting having hot choc inthe cafe at the hospital. Good news is I'm carrying around a live baby, with a very small nuchal fold. Bad news for me (worrymonger that I am) is that it's measuring 11weeks 5 days. I think I'm 12 weeks 5 days. Also its heartbeat seemed a little slow to my untrained eye. Don't know whether that's significant but I'm not prepared to dump the pessimism just yet. Forgot to say baby was fairly active at the beginning of the scan, and kicked a few times. It's just not ever going to be straightforward, this malarkey...

OP posts:

Hassled · 29/01/2009 15:12

Congratulations! Fingers crossed all goes well - it's very easy for me to say, and much harder to do, but try to relax

norksinmywaistband · 29/01/2009 15:14

ongratulations Duchesse, enjoy the hot choc Now relax for the next 6 months and you'll be there

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