To not want to see every child abuse horror story linked in IN THE NEWS section every day.

[Sycamoretree]

There are exceptions, I'm sure, but really - how many times can we all say to each other, "jeez, how terrible. I feel so sorry for that poor child, how could a mother/father/grandparent do that?"

These stories make me so STRESSED....

And even the act of hiding the thread means you have had to read the headline of the post...

No just generalising people the way that people generalise 'the kind of people who read misery memoirs'. Everyone has a different view on things we need to accept that.

I haven't actually read either of those stories because they both sound qute rediculously blown out of proportion. It may not be as I said I haven't read.

It's hard because obv you do get those who like to drool over the gory bits whereas most people are more interested in the surrounding story, background etc. This is where it gets confused IMO.

I think that's all I'm asking for. I"m not really interesting in censorship, and I appreciate not everyone is going to have the same pov.

A disclaimer would be a good thing for someone like me.

sycamoretree - why don't you start a thread in "site stuff" asking for a disclaimer to be added to the "in the news" section. You will probably get tons of support and MNHQ may just go along with it...

Best to check that there isn't already one there though, just in case

LMFAO at Squonk

I do agree if I am making a thread about a news story I am careful with the thread titles. I remember reading a rediculous one that was basically an entire abuse story summed up in ne graphic line caused a riot.

Think it was something like '7YO boy locked in cupboard and eaten alive by family'

I think people are just so genuinely shocked by some stories they just want to talk about it. Thread tiotles like that are just stupid but the likes of well I dont know how I would word that actually.

There is one but only about Baby P thread.

LOL at the idea that people who participate in these threads have more empathy than those who don't. I don't usually see much empathy on there - it's all "fucking bitch, she should be tortured in prison" etc., a lot of them are just thickies venting their spleen pointlessly, but sometimes you get valid discussions as well, depends on the day. On the Daily Mail mother who doesn't love her child one for example, the discussion came up as to whether the DM were breaking PCC guidelines, it highlighted a gap in the PPC rules - that you are allowed to invade a child's privacy (and imo collude in the emotional abuse a child) if you have the parent's consent. Lots of people linked to the site and complained to the DM and the story has now been taken down, that surely is a useful spin-off of a thread like that?

I think yabu.

In fact I think that not having an interest in the news or wanting to be exposed to the happenings around us is incredibly closed-minded. You don't have to open the thread and read all the resulting discussions, in fact if the thread title spells it out then you're going to know whether it's something that will upset you or not and can avoid accordingly. But without reading the whole story I fail to see how a headline can be that upsetting.

I find it amazing that people want to read and post about the happenings in foreign countries, gaza/DRC etc but would rather remain ignorant of the happenings on our own doorstep.

I don't think anyone is saying there is nothing of worth in discussing these stories, just that it can be awkward to navigate the news section

I remember thinking 'oh goodie, a current affairs section' when I first started poking around mumsnet only to click on the most horrific animal abuse story with thousands of pointless ' oh that is so sad' replies

but so many of the news stories are like that though not just the horrific crime ones. "celeb has died/their child has died/their dog has died/they have got divorced" etc etc threads are full of " oh that is so desparately sad they were such a lovely person," replies. I find those worse because people seem to think that because it's a celebrity they've heard of they somehow seem to have a right to share in their grief.

I find the celeb stories far less worthy of being in the news than the child abuce ones.

I dont agree it is ignorant or close minded to not want to read child abuse cases, we all have our own tolorence levels, i am greatly interested in the news and what is going on around me, but i do not want to read graphic details, or go into lenghty discussions about these thypes of horrors as my tolorence level are extremely low

it affects me greatly in that i cant shake the thoughts out of my head, i want to run home, grab my 2yr old and lock the door for fear of him ever being hurt, its not because i am ignorant or closed minded, its because i am a mother.

but no-one said you had to read the details. But people are complaining about the threads even being there. I presume then that those who don't like hearing about these cases never watch the news?

whenever I watch the news it's just economic doom and gloom and it's all so unhelpful in so many ways, I check my local news every day though and I look for good news stories now and then online

I used to be a bit hooked on newspapers and 24hr bbc news so I'm probably like the reformed smokers

I work with children so i am at the front line so to speak. What happens in the news has a direct effect on my job, Victoria Climbie, baby P, the Doncaster fiasco, the murders in Belgian nursery. I want to know what is happening in the world. Burying your head in the sand is not the answer. awareness of what is really going on is.

Talking about it can also be catharic for a lot of people. For example, the Belgian creche tragedy. There seems no reason for why it happened and people are bewildered as well as upset. Some people will talk about it to try to seek some kind of an understanding, a reason for why or how such a thing could happen. Others will talk about it because they are genuinely upset and find that off-loading helps with their grief rather than bottling it up. Sure, there are probably some who are rubber-necking but I expect the majority talk about these things either in order to seek some kind of answer about how people can do horrible things as the concept is just so alien to them or to off-load/talk through their sorrow.

Oh god a lot of people aren't remotely interested in finding out why these things happen. And they condemn as "politically correct" anyone who is. Which is why some of those threads are so distasteful.

In some ways I completely agree with you, and struggle to understand the benefit of the details of these cases being shared on any form of medium.

On the otherhand they are a reminder that these awful things are happening around us and as a society we need to be vigilant of neglect and abuse.

So many people don't act either in a professional capacity or in their community as they either don't know what to look for, or assume it is someone elses responsibility. And if these threads lead to a discussion regarding these issues and make people realise that it is their responsibilty to act in someway. that they do serve a purpose.

YABU. I have no patience at all with anybody who doesn't like 'the news', won't read 'the news', thinks we don't need to know what's in 'the news'.

'The news' is the story of your world and what happens in it will affect your life in some way or another. Sticking your head in the sand, saying it's all too depressing or is stressing you out is cowardly. So you don't read the threads - but don't take it upon yourself to censor them. Personally I find cloth nappy threads very 'stressful' because they make me feel terribly guilty - so I deal with that feeling - not squalk about attacking the motives of those who post them and accusuing them of unnnecessary picking over of liner quality.

Well I guess if you don't want to hide the topic you'll just have to share the forum with people who do want to discuss those issues.

It's a bit like buying a paper and asking the newsagent to cut out all the articles that might annoy you.

I'm not sure what HQ could do about it tbh.

I think a little tolerance for people recovering from trauma and picking and choosing the subject matter they want to dwell on is a Good Thing though

and why is the news always so heavily slanted towards hysteria, why are the horrible stories the only ones everyone wants to talk about?

Ok, I get the cathartic angle - I hadn't considered that before.

And I don't stick my head in the sands re the news (don't you just love the assumptions we all make about each other on these threads - like I'm some thick bint all a-quiver at the very notion of something other than rainbows, sparkles and bunny rabbits).

I'm not, I'm an intelligent, well-read person. I watch the news, I read the papers. What I personally do not want to do is rake over these stories on MN with a bunch of folk who can only say "oh how sad, how terrible".

But I accept this is a singular and to some extent selfish POV - clearly some discussions are more enlightened and thought provoking than this - I just haven't come across them.

I accept then i am being unreasonable to expect people not to post these stories, but I remain sceptical about the motives of some of posts which just feel like coffee morning chats about the latest salacious story. I suppose that is actually my real objection.

And I should just say that to compare to nappy threads is a bit . Like you go back to sleep at night running over and over in your head the image of your child NOT in a cloth nappy and it puts your stomach into such a knot of tension you feel sick....

I'm not getting into Baby P, but even just hearing a graphic headline on the f'ing six o'clock news (radio) put an image in my head that I have never been able to shake. I keep imagining my DS (same age) in that situation - the panic that sets in is utterly overwhelming.

No, to Northernlurker - I can see the point you were trying to make, but I don't actually think you can directly compare these two subjects and the feelings they elicit.

SO, to Northernlurker...

No one said you were a thick bin did they? and LOL at bunny wabbits and rainbows Actually I think I'm more afraid ofrabbits than these stories, eek got the buggers stuck in my head now...

The Baby P thread was actually quite constructive, most people just didn't want to go on it as they assumed it was all just
'oh and they done this, then they done that' which it wasn't the original thread was but when they moved itit urned into right what can we do about it.

Emails were flying everywhere! Infact I got a reply last week from Scottish Parliment people It may not seem like much but if we can learn one little thing rom each individual case then maybe one day we will build up enough knowledge to totally stamp it out! Hopefully...

I think to a certain extent yes people do talk about these things in such a way to start like 'oh my goodness they done blah de blah' but after a while you can tell the genuinely interested ones who are not just up for a bit of enjoyment somehow from these stories the ones who change from the negative to doing something positive don't bother me, it's the ones who pick and pick at the story until they know every gory little detail then run around shouting it that gets me.

thick bint not bin and cross posts about Baby P. Sorry just trying to find example thread.