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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to tick a child off about their behaviour

47 replies

motherlovebone · 23/01/2009 11:21

yesterday i witnessed another girl barge my daughter out of the way for no reason. this morning i saw her and said "i saw you push littlelovebone out of the way yesterday, dont push LLB, you would not like it if somebody was horrible to you" and she started crying...AIBU ?

OP posts:
saint2shoes · 23/01/2009 11:22

yabu.........you waited a whole day!!

bellavita · 23/01/2009 11:23

Unreasonable today yes, perhaps if you had said it at the time yesterday in a gentle fashion then perhaps no.

2pt4kids · 23/01/2009 11:23

she wont have a clue what you were on about seeing you left it a whole day to mention it!
why didnt you say at the time?

AmIOdetteOrOdileOrABagpipe · 23/01/2009 11:25

Yes, YABU. Unless she is over the age of 12, in which case your daughter shoule be able to fight her own battles, you should have dealt with it there and then.

And what you said was not very constructive either.

Don't be surprised if the girl's mother has a word with you later. I would.

bananapaddlepop · 23/01/2009 11:25

yes yabu. you should have said something yesterday.

PlumBumMum · 23/01/2009 11:25

I would have done it there and then

I did once but the boy in question didn't even have the cheek to cry or apologise

laweaselmys · 23/01/2009 11:25

Yes, YABU, if you are going to say anything you need to do it immediately. (although, there is nothing wrong with saying, don't push - you wouldn't like it if somebody pushed you)

saint2shoes · 23/01/2009 11:26

even if the child is over 12, be prepared for the mum to be furious, I once did this and the mum went mad(ok her dd lied and said she hadn't done the crime)

MrsMattie · 23/01/2009 11:26

YABU and a bit of a bully. Say it at the time or let it go. they're kids, FGS.

YeahBut · 23/01/2009 11:27

YABU to wait a day to say something. Poor girl. Telling offs need to be immediate.

OrmIrian · 23/01/2009 11:29

Say it at the time or keep it shut. Otherwise it just sounds like vindictiveness.

nickschick · 23/01/2009 11:34

yabvu - its good job it wasnt my dc you upset the thing is ids do push and shove and its not always done with malice.

If i was the clss teacher and youd upset one of my class i would be hving a discreet word with you tonight.

Depending on where you live you might get a mum having a go t you in the playground on monday too- be careful school politics can be quite harsh.

skirt · 23/01/2009 11:40

By leaving it a day, it sounds a bit like you wanted revenge not justice, and you'd been mulling it over all night, planning your actions. I'd be narked if I'd seen it but by leaving it, you look mean now. Sorry x

traceybath · 23/01/2009 11:43

I think you've been very unreasonable.

How old are the children? As others have said a gentle 'careful' at the time would have been far more appropriate.

You'd better hope your daughter never pushes this little girl or expect the other mother to tell her off enough to make her cry.

Find it odd that you waited a day - is there a history with the other child?

ANamesANameForAThatsTaken · 23/01/2009 11:45

YABU - why did you not say something at the time?

memoo · 23/01/2009 11:59

I wouldn't be surprised if you find the other mum wants a word with you tonight.

If you have a problem you speak to the childs parent or the teacher. you don't tell off somebody elses child!

HSMM · 23/01/2009 12:01

My DD (age 9) was apparently tormenting a child in the playground one lunch time. His mother (a dinner lady at the school) spoke to me about it and told me how it had been dealt with by the school. I felt like a naughty school girl, but I really appreciated the fact that she spoke to me, so I could deal with my DD.

southeastastra · 23/01/2009 12:07

i saw my son getting kicked in the school queue, i went over and said to my son 'why are you just letting him kick you like that' whilst staring at the horrible kicker.

my son later told me the other boy said i was ugly. . i'd do it again though. but not the day after

OrmIrian · 23/01/2009 12:11

I did tackle a little boy who was attacking my youngest in the playground. He was his best friend and it was only play fighting but a bit rough. DS was looking a little confused TBH. I made some jokey comment along the lines of 'hey don't beat up my Joe'. He looked sheepish. As did his mother who I didn't notice until after the event

But 12 hrs later? Pointless.

Original poster
motherlovebone · 23/01/2009 12:11

the children are 5.

i didnt say something at the time because i had a train to catch.

on the way to school this morning LLB piped up that X pushed her in the corridor yesterday, i asked did it hurt, she said no.

i spotted X's teacher and was going to mention it to her but she said she was too busy.

i saw X and ticked her off.

history with the other child?
not really, though IMO she is a spoiled brat. she "made" everyone leave her birthday party last year. parents are like "what can we do?"

OP posts:
MrsMattie · 23/01/2009 12:18

Aren't you taking this all a bit seriously? They're FIVE.

alphabetsoup · 23/01/2009 12:19

I think the consensus of opinion is a little harsh on lovebone. Ideally yes, speak up at the time, but even a 5 yo should know not to shove and certainly won't be damaged by being reminded of it and pulled up for it next day.

Perhaps she cried out of shock that someone was actually setting her a boundary (thinking of lovebone's 12.11 post at party behaviour).

DandyLioness · 23/01/2009 12:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ithinkimtallandblonde · 23/01/2009 12:24

that you would tell a 5yo old off 1 day after the incident. Yab very u.
5 year olds push, if you think she is a bully you need to tell the teachers not deal with it yourself

Original poster
motherlovebone · 23/01/2009 12:29

well, all my friends think IMU, and neither does my mum!

so, what do i do now then?

OP posts: