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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

all the prettiest children have the ugliest parents..................how come??

99 replies

DanceSchoolMum · 22/01/2009 17:12

don;t you find it to be true tho????

OP posts:
wannaBe · 22/01/2009 18:47

At the end of the day though, does it matter? It is not how pretty or "ugly" you are that makes you a nice person or not is it? You can be a stunningly beautiful person on the outside, but a total bitch personality-wise, or a not so good-looking (and tbh I hesitate to use the word ugly, as beauty is a matter of opinion) person on the outside and a lovely person on the inside.

And if you got to know the beautiful bitch, and the ugly duckling, once you knew what they were like as people, their looks would be irelevant - only a shallow person would remain friends with someone purely for their looks alone.

This is the one thing that makes me glad I cannot see. Because I know I will never ever judge someone based on what they look like.

I know I am not pretty (from what others have said) but I am still the person I am and if people judge me on that alone then frankly those are not the kinds of people I would want in my life anyway.

Haribosmummy · 22/01/2009 18:52

Excellent post, wannaBe!

My dad said to me a few years ago 'we really should have paid for you to have a nose job' and, at the time, I did think about it and then I thought.... Who cares? If, in my late 20s anyone is going to judge who I am etc., on the shape of my nose, then I'd really prefer not to deal with them!

And anyway, no-one EVER thinks they have an ugly baby. Never. All babies are gorgeous to their parents!

TheStatueOfLiffey · 22/01/2009 18:52

Psycho mum, you are very pretty and your children are all pretty/handsome too.

So not sure what that proves...

Watoose · 22/01/2009 18:56

I remember two really, really attractive, popular, nice and funny girls at my school

They turned up for an early morning start to a trip with their Mum

i was actually shocked at how unattractive she looked

although I was 12 and shallow at the time

I figured that she must be a fantastic mum to have brought up two such amazing daughters and vowed never to judge by appearances again - and that if I grew up ugly I would make sure I was a damn good mum and have beautiful children

Confidence stands high in what makes a person beautiful though anyway

wannaBe · 22/01/2009 19:05

as human beings I think we all want to be pretty, because we all want to believe that other people are attracted to us. First impressions are, after all, visual ones, so if one is less attractive then it stands to reason that one might not make the same kind of visual first impression as someone who is very attractive.

But at the end of the day, we can't change the person we are on the outside, (we can lose weight/have a new hair style etc, but features will remain), we can only work on being a good person on the inside.

I am not pretty. Not at all. In fact I would go so far as to say that I am probably quite ugly. Obviously I don't actually know this as I have never actually seen myself (although there are definite advantages to not being able to look at yourself in the mirror first thing in the morning ), but from what others have said I am fairly sure that I would class as the ugly parent with the beautiful child.

When I was younger it did bother me.

Now that I'm older I think that there's no point being driven by things you cannot change.

wannaBe · 22/01/2009 20:14

ah, seems I killed the thread.

Marthasmama · 22/01/2009 20:17

I don't think that anyone could follow that wannaBe. I thought when I read your post 'yup, that'll be the end of that!'.

WinkyWinkola · 22/01/2009 20:57

Actually, I thought WannaBe's post made lots of sense.

pamelat · 22/01/2009 21:12

I cant believe that anyone would say anything like that. She is obviously desperately insecure about what either she or her own children look like.

Like most people on here (?) I have now looked at your profile pics and you are all stunning so the woman is a (jealous) crazy being.

I dont have experience of ugly versus pretty. If I did notice stunning children and plain mum, then I would probably just think that she put all her time and efforts in to them, as anyone can look with a lot of make up and time.

I am a new ish mum. DD is only 12 months. I think she is beautiful. I havent really worn makeup for 12 months (and sometimes forgotten to brush my hair) so people probably think I am a mess and wonder what I am doing with her ... !!!

Marthasmama · 22/01/2009 22:21

That's what I meant, Winky. WannaBe's post said it all really, there was nothing left to say!

squilly · 23/01/2009 11:51

That might explain why my daughter is so preddy then!

My niece was born when I was a child and to me she looked like a small, hairless monkey. She had a permanently screwed up face and it grew plainer and plainer as she got older.

Then she hit 5 or 6, grew out of her baby face and blossomed into the most beautiful child I've ever seen. She's stayed that way and is now a stunningly attractive adult with two beautiful children of her own.

I can believe it now when models and beautiful actresses say they were ugly as children. Personally, I think it's just that some kids take longer to grow into their looks than others.

But I think it's unreasonable for parents to ever judge other peoples babies for their looks. It seems a bit shallow to me. And I would NEVER comment on a child's looks to another parent, be it their child's or someone else's. It's just not done!

I'd be pretty miffed if ANYONE commented on my daugther's looks and was not complimentary about them. It's just rude imo.

squilly · 23/01/2009 11:54

Oh...and wannabe, I suspect that you're far from ugly. Beauty comes from within and to write such wisdom, you must be one hell of a looker!

Mamazon · 23/01/2009 12:00

because god thought he would be kinder to them than he was to me.

georgimama · 23/01/2009 12:03

I'm average, DH is average, DS is stunning. Really beautiful. I'm not just saying that, people stop me in the street to ask me if he does modelling (he doesn't and he is not going to).

thegreatescape · 23/01/2009 12:05

Sounds like a snidey, backhanded compliment (to your dcs) born out of jealously.

Wonder if it made her feel better?

Gorionine · 23/01/2009 12:12

I have got conflicting ones: I have girls (wich should make me attractve according to DaddiJ's theory) but they are gorgeous (which according to the dance class lady PsychMum5 talked to makes me ugly)!

Madmentalbint · 23/01/2009 12:19

It certainly was a strange comment and I wouldn't know what to think if someone said it to me.

Maybe she was trying to be funny. But failed.

Judy1234 · 23/01/2009 12:46

No, genetics dictate that we tend to look like our parents not the converse. Obviousyl some people as they age get very fat, dress badly etc and look ugly but if they were prety as teenagers adn chidlren their chidlren usually are.

Tortington · 23/01/2009 12:47

ah yes xenia said the same thing last time i remember, something about being of good stock

georgimama · 23/01/2009 12:55

Well DS looks like us both but just better IYSWIM. He's got DH's blond hair, and my nice small nose and my quite full mouth. He's cute now, how he'll be grown up is anyone's guess.

I would like to think that I dress better now than I did as a teenager.

OrmIrian · 23/01/2009 13:02

I am concerned about my DC TBH. They are lovely now. But looking at their grandmother, aunts and cousins on one side and a few great aunts on the other they haven't a hope in hell past 30.

DH's side of the family runs to fat jowly women with big chins and my side runs to large 'handsome' women with formidable voices. Poor little buggers

BalloonSlayer · 23/01/2009 13:25

It's funny how no one on here has said that their children are ugly.

Obviously we all think our own children are beautiful.

It therefore follows that we think that other children that conform to the same "type" are also beautiful and those who don't we consider ugly.

Eg: my children are dark-haired and I don't rate blond hair at all. (It's ok but I think dark hair is far more attractive.) Also they have all been skinny babies and I find fat babies unattractive.

There was a baby in one of the M&T groups I went to years ago. She was blonde and had a pouting little mouth and ^enormous" blue eyes. I reckon most people thought she was gorgeous. I thought she looked almost grotesque, like Tweety Pie. I daresay her mum thought my kids were like a pack of ferrets.

BalloonSlayer · 23/01/2009 13:27

And kids don't tend to grow their real nose and jaw till 9 or 10.

Then there's puberty...

Compare the attractiveness of a Year 1 class to a Year 8 class. Bloody blimey.

Penthesileia · 23/01/2009 13:31

LOL @ pack of ferrets!

Penthesileia · 23/01/2009 13:35

My DD (7mo) is chub-tastic, so BalloonSlayer would no doubt go 'ewwww'. But I think she's adora-bubble, naturally.

BTW, psychomum - is the woman a little bit mad in the head? Yes, your children are lovely; but so are you!

Agree with wannaBe's posts. She is wise.