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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think dh has a right to wear what he damn well likes to work?

38 replies

Kayteee · 21/01/2009 22:05

Will try and make this quick.
Dh has worked, loyally, for a company for 12 years now. He works in a huge office, fixing and installing computers. He has NO contact with the public and some of the work he does can involve getting a bit grubby. When he joined the company he was given no dress-code and so he goes to work in neat black jeans, neat tshirts and tidy sweat-shirts.
He's very well liked amongst his co-workers and one of those commited and helpful types.
Anyhoo...a new, rather bossy, career-minded, lady supervisor has recently joined the team and (for some reason) seems to have taken a dislike to him. She has been on his case over a few petty details and he's tried very hard to placate her and just get on with his job....through gritted teeth iyswim.
Last week, she calls him into her office and proceeds to inform him that "complaints have been made" about the way he dresses. Even asking him to provide medical evidence to show that it's necessary for him to wear his orthopedic boots (he has one leg shorter than the other). Ofcourse he was mad and asked to speak to her manager who said there had been no such complaints but that he should be wearing more office type trousers with, perhaps shirts instead of sweatshirts.
Whilst talking to this manager he came to a compromise, after saying that he couldn't afford new clothes anyway,when the boss said "well get some on expenses then"!
AIBU to think that he should be complaining to someone about discrimination? If it were me I probably would be emailing Head Office in a right strop. But then I thought of you lovely lot out there and thought I'd run it by you all first
If any of you reply please take into consideration that he's a very "casual" sorta guy and is very uncomfortable in smart gear. Also, there's nothing in his original contract stating a particular dress-code.
May the jury decide......

OP posts:

nancy75 · 21/01/2009 22:08

ime its fairly normal for people in an office environment to wear office type clothing.
i am interested in why you think this is discrimination?

trixymalixy · 21/01/2009 22:08

about asking for medical evidence about the orthopedic boots!!!

I thin an employer can enforce any dress code they like. the dress code at my place has channged many times in the 9 years I have been there.

trixymalixy · 21/01/2009 22:09

Oops typos!

It makes no difference whether he is a "casual" sorta guy and is uncomfortable in smart gear, he should have to conform to the dress code.

bangandthedirtisgone · 21/01/2009 22:10

How does everybody else dress?

Is there an actual dress code?

Original poster

Kayteee · 21/01/2009 22:12

So, for example, could a company suddenly tell it's staff they all had to come in wearing chicken suits??

OP posts:

peanutbear · 21/01/2009 22:15

Im an employer and I do enforce a dress code which I am more than happy to provide I like people to look smart but I wouldnt ask for medical evidence over footwear thats unbelievable

nancy75 · 21/01/2009 22:15

Kaytee thats a ridiculous argument. from your op it seems that the company has actually offered to pay for smart clothes for your dh - is that correct?
i dont think you should need a contract to know what is/isn't the right kind of dress. i might fancy going to the office in a bikini, if my contract doesn't say no bikinis would that be ok?
unfortunately if you want to work in most places of work you tow the line and wear suitable clothing.

flowerybeanbag · 21/01/2009 22:16

Is he the only one who wears jeans or do lots of other people? Have they been asked to dress slightly smarter or just him?

I am also interested in why you think this is discrimination?

It's not quite as simple as an employer being able to get people to wear whatever they like, but asking an employee not to wear jeans and sweatshirts and offering to pay for new clothes doesn't sound unreasonable to me on the face of it.

She doesn't sound particularly pleasant but that's obviously a wider issue.

Oh and yes, the fact that he is a casual sorta guy at home and doesn't like dressing more smartly is irrelevant.

beanieb · 21/01/2009 22:17

I think his manager was out of order and if I were him I would want to know what her manager is going to do RE her lying about the complaints. That is really very unprofessional behaviour on her part.

As for the clothing thing, he seems to have reached a compromise with the other manager and so I wouldn;t say it's worth persuing that.

Original poster

Kayteee · 21/01/2009 22:20

Yes the chicken suits was tongue in cheek.
I think I got very indignant about the boots comment. But it's also because he's been wearing smart/casual clothes there for over 12 years, just getting on with his job and nobody has even mentioned his attire. Now this new woman seems to want to make him jump through hoops (there have been other little digs from her about petty stuff).

OP posts:

herbietea · 21/01/2009 22:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

peanutbear · 21/01/2009 22:23

so this is really just the straw that broke the camels back then

I would outline everything and anything that happens in the future I think the attire thing is a non starter but all the other digs linked in with it could be harrassment IYKWIM

trixymalixy · 21/01/2009 22:24

I think it's very nice of them to let him get some new clothes on expenses.

For years at my place you could wear whatever you liked to work, jeans, trainers etc.

Then one day they decided to bring in a new smarter dress code and everyone had to go and buy new clothes themselves. A couple o fpeople said they couldn't afford new ones and the answer was "tough2 and they had a week after pay day after which they had to conform to the dress code.

nuttygirl · 21/01/2009 22:25

Well I don't think it's discrimination. Dh works for an IT company, has no (well v little) contact with clients but still has to dress smartly. That meant a suit & tie when he first started but they changed it to smart trousers & shirt later on. They have dress down on a Friday.

He often has to do 'grubby' jobs and his bosses let him take in a change of clothes for those so his smart stuff doesn't get ruined. He just changes into the casual stuff before starting the job and changes back afterwards.

Original poster

Kayteee · 21/01/2009 22:26

Flowery,
he's the only one that does quite manual work. He has to get under desks etc; so actually smart clothes would get ruined quite quickly.
Discrimination bit comes from the fact that he's registered disabled and has to wear orthopedic boots (which are quite clumpy looking) She wasn't happy with him wearing them and asked for medical proof!
Maybe not the smart clothes though...I kinda get that point

OP posts:

nancy75 · 21/01/2009 22:28

its only dicrimination if he has proved he needs them and she has then said he cant wear them. if thats her attitude then it is discrimination.

StewieGriffinsMom · 21/01/2009 22:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

squeaver · 21/01/2009 22:31

Sorry I think you've got a point about his boots but they've offered to pay for new clothes so, if they get grubby, presumably they'll replace them.

Meanwhile I'm finding your description of his boss as "rather bossy, career-minded, lady supervisor" really funny for some reason.

Do you live in the 1950s?

Original poster

Kayteee · 21/01/2009 22:34

Lol Squeaver!!
I just re-read it. Enid Blyton would have been proud!!

OP posts:

AnnakeyRules · 21/01/2009 22:35

I'd be tempted go to a charity shop and buy a dinner suit for your dh to wear to work.

twentypence · 21/01/2009 22:40

You can complain about the boot thing. And maybe the making up the complaint thing.

The clothes thing - it's great they are going to let him expense them. I'd bite their hand off. Most computer type people I have come across keep a T shirt for if they have to do dusty stuff and buy cheap trousers.

I am usually smart for work - but if I am cleaning out the instrument cupboard I won't be!

morningpaper · 21/01/2009 22:45

I've done a lot of under-desk IT work and I've always dressed the same as the other people in the office - usually suits

I avoid wearing short skirts though

Yes it gets mucky but dark gray hides most of it and it's usually just dust, so you can brush it off easily

morningpaper · 21/01/2009 22:45

I've done a lot of under-desk IT work and I've always dressed the same as the other people in the office - usually suits

I avoid wearing short skirts though

Yes it gets mucky but dark gray hides most of it and it's usually just dust, so you can brush it off easily

morningpaper · 21/01/2009 22:46

Actually I would be wary of putting it on expenses - isn't that a tax liability? You should fine out first. Also you are likely to get other people complaining if they find out. It seems like a bad idea. I'd get advice on that before you proceed.

Original poster

Kayteee · 21/01/2009 22:56

Thanks for your replies,
Will take up the boots ishoo. Maybe the complaints one too. This is my first AIBU post and I'm obvioulsy BU about the clothes.

OP posts:

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