Ex Husband says I should be able to manage on £50 per week for groceries with five dc

[betsybunnkin]

My Ex Husband says I should be able to manage on £50 per week for groceries with five dc.
Granted I am still b/f our baby who is not yet weaned and I use cloth nappies for all three youngest.
I still think £50.00 for an adult and five children for groceries (inc washing powder, cleaning products etc) is not manageable.

AIBU? Or can it be done?

Message withdrawn

It probably is possible, but I still think that YANBU.
He sounds like a right tight arse!

I think he lives on a similar amount just for himself though I can't be certain.
I can't work out how it can be done at the moment. It works out at (not including the baby of course) £10.00 each per week for the dc and me for seven days.

yes you could do it ,but your children would probably end up with ricketts , i have £100 a week for groceries and thats just for 2 adults and 2 kids . Hope there is room for negotiation

Here's a thought. Why don't you drop off all the kids round his house for a week and see how he manages?
What a twat, has he not been shopping for food before? YANBU, he is.
On a practical note, have you sorted out all your finances formally? If not, you need to do so either through a Solicitor or by formally applying for maintenance (previously through the CSA but now changed to The Child Maintenance and Enforcement Commission with effect from last November)

I honestly don't see how it could be done. Especially if you factor in washing powder and things. How on earth did he come to this amount? I would like to see him do it. You probably could do it for the first week or two because you would have things already in the house but not forever.

YANBU.

I am trying to do 40 a week for 2 adults and 2 kids and always go upto 50-60.
I mostly buy cheap stuff. Own brand, value things, discounts etc.
And we are mostly vegetarian. If you have a lot of meat I don't see how it'll work unless you only have chicken nuggets and turkey twizzlers

I can scrimp on £80. No way could manage on £50 and I have four children. I only manage on £80 by bulk buying at costco too.
So amny men have no idea. With my exh the budget for the three of us was £20 pw.

tw@

I couldn't do that with 3 children and me, unless I stocked up on all non-perishables once a month and £50 was just for fruit, veg and dairy. That might leave enough for a takeaway now and then!

he is being unreasonable

YANBU! We have four children and like ChopsTheDuck says we can get buy on £80 a week our average is a more realistc £100, and I use no convenience foods at all.....and do buy nappies now (was cheaper when I still did te terries).

Yes. It can be done. I went through a period where we had £25 per week to feed 2 adults, 2 children and a cat, and get all household/toiletries.

We did it, but it was hard and, let's face it, all you can get for that amount is pretty grim!

It CAN be done.

however, the question is not can it be done but should it be done if you have any other choice at all?

No.

we have four still at home and I couldnt do if for less than 80 now if I had to factor in nappies and the like for a baby as well it would have been more like 100

I am the economy queen and extremely good at this sort of thing, and I have to say that I would be hard pressed to feed you all properly for less than £100 a week at the moment for any sustainable length of time, unless I had my own farm and the kids got free school meals.

He is in cloud cuckoo land. Tell him to get a ruddy allotment and a rabbit snare if he's serious.

PS If anyone would like the latest version of my monthly menu plans and linked shopping lists, email me at boffinmum at hotmail dot co dot uk. I have just relented to the demands of my growing boys and added healthy desserts that are a bit more exciting than having fruit or yoghurt every day!

God I couldn't. Nothing like.

And we are mainly veggie.

Feel ashamed.

Yes, you can feed 6 people on £50 a week. If you eat a substandard diet high in fat, sugar and carbs.

To be eating properly and healthily you need to spend about £30 per person per week.

What the hell has this got to do with your ex? Don't discuss it with him, just your solicitor.

YANBU. I would find it very difficult to manage on that and there are only 4 of us and we don't eat meat.

How did you manage on £25 a week, Hecate?

The best thing to do is ask him how it's done and get him to spell it all out for you. Then, he'll see for himself its impossible.

YANBU! He is! I am a lone parent with two children and we spend on average 70 pounds per week. and I have to watch the pennies as i shop. My ex husbang gives me propb the equivalent money a month but I get tax credits that make up the money. Are you getting all you are entitled to? Am frankly pretty disgusted in his attitude. You sound like a great mum, cloth nappies etc. You deserve a medal and he needs a kick up the arse. Is he being tight or is that genuinely all he can afford?

sometimes it is possible
miaou and her DH did it for less, but they factored it school lunches and stuff. great tips on that thread BTW!

I wouldn't have said it is up to your Ex to make that decision, why not see what an impartial divorce judge has to say on the matter instead,

Sack of potatoes from the farm for a fiver would do several weeks. Most meals were potato and...

Value range everything . Netto cheap stuff. No real meat. Shop at end of day when they reduce prices on the perishables. Always look at the reduced isle (stuff at it's display by/sell by date)

Like I say, it's doable, but it is NOT nice. But you do what you have to, and at that point, we had to.

But I am BLOODY glad we are no longer in that position!!!

However, I learned a lot about making things last! and about how much you DON'T need to have. People buy so much that they can actually do without.

I've got 4 DC and budget tightly, menu plan. cook carefully etc, but no, £50 would not cover the groceries, not with washing powder etc. And well done to you for the clothies!! I would say £100 might be feasible but even then you would have to plan so carefully and shop carefully, esp. as the children get older. My DS is 7 and eats LOTS!!

I have five DC, and we are trying to cut back on the groceries, but even with DH going to the greengrocers on his way home, and me going between aldi's, lidls, tesco, sainsburies and asda getting the cheaper bits from each it is still over £100 p/w.

and on top of that is the extra petrol costs for the travelling between!

ours is complicated by the fact that I am allergic to milk and other stuff so need foods that are suitable for me, which are often more than twice the price of 'normal' food, but even so, tis impossible IME and IMO.

my friends DH told her similar recently, so she made him do the shopping for a month........he apologised big time, he simply had no idea how much the basics like bread/milk/pasta/potatoes/cheese cost (and that was with him saying they could live on mac&cheese and cheesy baked pots!