Ex Husband says I should be able to manage on £50 per week for groceries with five dc

[betsybunnkin]

My Ex Husband says I should be able to manage on £50 per week for groceries with five dc.
Granted I am still b/f our baby who is not yet weaned and I use cloth nappies for all three youngest.
I still think £50.00 for an adult and five children for groceries (inc washing powder, cleaning products etc) is not manageable.

AIBU? Or can it be done?

Louii makes my point so much better than i did.

I do normally think women should work a bit and chip in, but with 5 DCs including a baby it would be a bit hard even for me, and I'm pretty indefatigable tbh. I think the xp should do more overtime for a while, frankly. Kids cost money, and he helped make them!

Have you only just separated? You need to get advice on what else you're entitled to. Make sure that child benefit and any tax credits are paid directly to you.

If he's a low earner, I don't think £50 is unreasonable, if he's a high earner then he's being a tightwad and should have his balls crushed using a very good divorce lawyer.

I have five children, four of whom under 5, including the new baby and twins. I don't have an income at the moment, at all. I have been a sahm for a while.

This amount (£50.00) is the amount my estranged husband recommends I put aside for the weekly shop per week.
He only sees the dc once a month so he does not have a right to dictate how much we spend. I am currently trying to arrange maintenance formally etc (will have to see my other posts as is long) settlement etc but this is proving difficult and is a lengthy process.
I was just wondering if it was indeed possible as he seems to think we should aim to manage on this amount.
Oh and we have cats too, I forgot to include them and their litter/food in the calculations

mumoverseas Is c-mec operational now?

Dreadful name....

He was made redundant a while ago, but I strongly suspect he is concealing money (a whole different topic I suppose ).
I did wonder if returning to a vegetarian diet would help.

You are quite right, it isn't up to him at all.

Ignore him, spend whatever you see fit.

Any meat would have to be very poor quality unless your ex is suggesting you and the kids also hunt and catch your own rabbits. YANBU - he is.

Oh lawks didn't mean to offend ref rabbits given OP's name. Sorry!

he's quite mad imo ....

possibly could be done for limited period of time and only for food, not including cleaning materials, basic toiletries, foil and loo rolls etc ...

agree with mumoverseas's strategy ..leave them with him for a week and see how he gets on .. doesn't he want his own dc to eat well???

furious on your behalf

but meat doesnt have to be poor quality - you buy in bulk (and freeze), buy cheaper cuts, eat less meat based meals a week or all 3!!!!

what is with this assumption that less money spent = crap meals??? Surely it's what you do with it that counts. I know my kids eat loads better than the posh family round the corner that have m&s ready meal most nights.

hmm...so, he feeds himself, i.e. 1 person on that amount, but things you and 5dc should also be able to do it....is that male logic than?
YANBU!

Agree with anames comment above. You could do it but you would be buying crap to a large extent. Frozen chips most nights with tinned accompaniment would see to it.

If you aim to get 5 fruit and veg into your children a day with plenty of dairy (yoghurt, milk, cheese) and fish a couple of times a week than you cannot do it. Especially when factoring in wet wipes, wash powder, toilet roll, shampoo etc. Ex hub is being a twat. Don't stand for it or doubt for a second that you are being less than entirely reasonable.

xx

Am with connie, eating for less doesn't equal eating shit. The misconception really irritates me.

WTF! HIBVU!!! I would struggle, ours is 80 with only 2 adults and 2 children under 2!! You could go for the cheapest option but does he feel he is justified making both your children eat crap? because he is too mean to pay for it.

what matters is what he should pay I would say. If he can't afford more, then he can't. But if he could pay more, then he's being mean.

I spend between a £100-120 a week for 7 of us and I still have to top up on fresh fruit and veg in the week sometimes .

He is been a scrooget loon tightarse.

Some meals that go a long way or can be stretched:_

Hotpot = 2lb stewing beef, carrots, onion, potato, stock cube /bisto granules.
Tuna and pasta= 2 lg tins tuna, tinned toms, cheese, garlic, onion and pasta (buy a big bulk bag.
value chicken breasts diced + 2 jars homepride cheese and bacon sauce +pasta and top with cheese.
sausages and mash.
Good quality fishfingers chips and beans
Get 2 whole chicken, use breast for a sunday dinner and make a curry/stew from the legs/wings and leftovers.
Tomato soup and add mashed fresh/frozen veg for goodness with loads of bread.

Sorry to disagree but fruit is bloody expensive, so getting that bumps my shopping up every time.

Nice fruit is expensive but apples and oranges aren't.

What do you normally buy?
What do you normally eat?
If you wrote us a list, and say where you shop (roughly of course) maybe we can help you to economise.

fruit is not expensive - a banana is cheaper than a chocolate bar. Buy in season fruit and you will not pay a fortune.

and cheap = oven chips everynight

You can buy a big bag of potatoes for half the price of a bag of oven chips and make 5 times the amount. Aldi have big bag of pots for 49p on offer this week - oven chips are at least 1.50 a bag!!!!

Agree with Connie Descending that cheaper meals are not necessarily less healthy (in fact often the reverse) ie soups, pulse-based soups and I buy less meat of good quality rather than cheaper cuts. DD likes sardines on toast too.

However, it is the principle of the matter. Her dh should contribute as generously as he can to provide for his family. He made that commitment when he married. It's his lack of generosity of spirit and sense of responsibility that outrages me. OP has 5 dc to look after fhs.

I'm still bristling on your behalf Betsy ...!