I have 'spirited' 4 year old boy - for want of a better description. When he's good he's very very good but when he's bad he's horrid.....
I am NOT worried about his behaviour - he is only 4 he doesn't have the emotional maturity to deal with every thing life throws at him and so tears and upset happen. We are consistent in if he has lashed out/thrown a toy he gets time out - ignoring whining, praising good behaviour but it is a long road and some days are better than others.
My MIL however has suggested several things over the weekend that have really upset me.
Firstly, she said we were too soft and the children need to be frightened of us more and she suggested smacking them.
Then she said had we thought about taking my DS1 to see a child physcologist about his 'behaviour'. He threw lego after a tower he had been building toppled over so I removed him and then the lego. My MIL was shocked that he had 'no shame!' and that he would behave like that in front of his grandparents....
She has then yesterday rung to say she's been thinking about things and that we should video DS1 when he is having a tantrum to show him how silly he looks and embarass him about how his behaviour is stupid and not what we do!
I am gob-smacked - he is 4 next week I feel he act's like a happy but lively 4 year old but now my DH is saying that his mum knows stuff and we should take on board her opinion....
I have tried explaining to them that emotions are learnt and he will gain emotional maturity as he get's older but we are not victorian and that hitting children and trying to embarrass them is not how I would wish to parent.