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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to put an 18 month old in a highchair

33 replies

redskyatnight · 13/01/2009 11:00

We've just had a sitdown lunch with lots of extended family members. We didn't have enough chairs. So DH sat on a chair that is in danger of falling to bits (so not normally used) and I sat on a box.

We were still a chair short so we pulled out DD's old highchair and asked SiL to put her son (who is 18 months) in it. The highchair is the sort where you can remove the tray and sit up to the table so he was in no way being excluded/forced to sit away from the table or anything like that.

SiL was not happy and complained that her son was way too old to sit in a highchair, he hadn't sat in one for ages, he always sat on a normal chair at home and he absolutely hated going into highchairs. She suggested that we should put DD (who is 3 in a couple of weeks and was the next youngest child) in the highchair.

I was all for putting DD in said highchair to keep the peace (though she would have complained too) but DH tells SiL in a polite but firm voice that DD really was too old for the highchair and could she please put her son in it. SiL puts her son in the chair whilst complaining. Son sits in the highchair and eats his meal happily. Sil continues to complain throughout the meal.

So were we (or DH really) being unreasonable to ask SiL to put her son in the highchair?

OP posts:
LittleMissNorty · 13/01/2009 11:03

My 19 month old sits in a highchair for every meal.....up at the table without a tray....I can't see the problem really....

Rindercella · 13/01/2009 11:04

I can't see the problem either. Your sil sounds like she was being very precious about it.

wilbur · 13/01/2009 11:04

Blimey, her 18 month old always sits on a real chair? How can he see over the table? How do they get him to stay at the table more than 10 seconds? 18 months perfectly fine to go in a highchair, nail 'em in, if neccessary. Ds2, nearly 3 and a half still gets put in one occasionally, tho he is small for his age.

georgimama · 13/01/2009 11:05

That's crazy. Of course an 18 month old isn't too old. DS still happily sits in one and he is 22 months. He has a booster seat on a kitchen chair but when we are out or at my mum's he eats in a highchair.

seeker · 13/01/2009 11:05

My ds is 7 and still sits on his Tripp Trapp at meals.

Jarr · 13/01/2009 11:05

How does anyone get their 18 month old to sit on a normal chair at a table?
Mine would have half the table swept onto the floor in about 8.5 seconds.

No, you were not BU.

AliceTheCamelHasGotTheHump · 13/01/2009 11:06

My nearly 3-year-old LOVES being allowed in a high chair. She often chooses to use her brother's, and often requests one at a restaurant or cafe. I think it's just easier being high up to the table.

At home she has a triptrap anyway.

cmotdibbler · 13/01/2009 11:06

At the weekend we had visiting 2.5 year old in the highchair - and she was perfectly happy. I really don't see what the problem is - YANBU

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 13/01/2009 11:06

My 18 month old sits in her high chair all the time. Infact we are buying her a new one when we move that attatches to a dining chair as hers is much higher than our table.

Is sil's babe a PFB?

ScottishMummy · 13/01/2009 11:07

use tripp trapp for 18month.it is a highchair.works great

nickytwotimes · 13/01/2009 11:07

Ds is MAsSIVE and 2.5 and sits quite happily in his high chair.

FAQtothefuture · 13/01/2009 11:09

my DS3 (19 months) sits in a booster chair.........but with the tray on and "slightly" away from the table.....otherwise he just chucks food all over it

he will however sit an eat his cereal (no milk on it) quite happily kneeling on a normal dining room chair without any fuss

mm22bys · 13/01/2009 11:09

YANBU.

SIL sounds like PITA, can't believe she was whinging even though her DS was happy! If she didn't want him in the highchair he didn't have to sit in it and she could have held him or (more likely knowing most 18 month olds) let him wander round...

Some people forget that a lot of highchairs are simply what they say....High Chairs! What is so bad about a child, at any age, using one?

She's not a PFB is she?

ThePregnantHedgeWitch · 13/01/2009 11:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

AliceTheCamelHasGotTheHump · 13/01/2009 11:11

I think some people like to 'prove' that their children are terribly grown up and advanced. It always makes me laugh at playgroup when half the mothers loudly flap about "Oh dear Joquasta, have you been given a sippy cup? Joquasta doesn't need a sippy cup. Joquasta would you like mummy to take the lid off for you so you can enjoy your drink properly?" (Meanwhile Joquasta has cheerfully had a swig of juice and is getting on with treading playdoh into the carpet.)

Dropdeadfred · 13/01/2009 11:12

my dd is 3.7 and still sits in her highchair for all meals unless we have a younger vistor who needs it!!!!!

LaaDeDa · 13/01/2009 11:13

My dd sat in her highchair until she was at least 2 1/2, possibly older. I'd taken the tray off and moved it right into the table.

What bad manners to make a fuss about it initially and especially to keep going on about it when her child was fine.

RedOnHerHead · 13/01/2009 11:19

Sounds to me like your SIL has a bad case of PFBitis! Where their child is "far too advanced for that"
He'll be in university next year!
I know mners have a proper name for this - but I still have an addled brain from my children!

MarlaSinger · 13/01/2009 11:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

stripeytiger · 13/01/2009 11:46

YANBU. SIL sounds a bit over the top, especially when he was quite happy in the highchair. I don't think either of my dcs would have been able to see or reach the table in a normal chair at that age.

IAmTheNewQueenOfMN · 13/01/2009 11:49

YANBI at all
she sounds a little crazy
gecko is 23 months and still sits in her antilop sometimes without the tray, sometimes with

I dont really see how an 18 month old could sit on a regular chair and be able to see on to the table properly or reach to his food with ease

maybe she was trying to show off how clever he was but was miffed at not getting the chance

she sounds a little weird

mumeeee · 13/01/2009 11:51

18 months is not to old for a highchair. My DC's sat in them until they were 2.5.

Original poster
redskyatnight · 13/01/2009 11:53

Thanks everyone - I feel reassured now. SiL does have some odd ideas, so I catch myself wondering "is it me or her?".

Nephew is actually 2nd child, PFB was busy climbing on the table (which had hot food on) unchecked by either parent while this was all going on.

Nephew is pretty tall for his age, but still shorter than DD and she will still normally be in a booster seat.

As I read it I realised that the "competitive" theory is spot on. SIL is desperately competitive about both her children though didn't realise sitting in a high chair was something to be competitive about!

OP posts:
BouncingTurtle · 13/01/2009 11:56

YANBU and your SIL sounds like an arse.

We used a booster seat with dss until he was about 3-4!

Your DH was being perfectly sensible.

My ds is 12.5mo, and I would imagine he'll be in a highchair for at least another year if not more!

Gorionine · 13/01/2009 12:01

DD4(26 mths old)still seats in a high chair if we go out and at home she has a plastic seatt that you tie to a normal chair but that allows her to see what is on her plate. she would defenitely not be able to feed at the table with us without it because she would definitely not be high enough. Is you SIL's Dc very tall for his age?

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