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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

- to think that 12.20am is a little late for ds1's (nearly) girlfriend to phone him!

35 replies

sunnygirl1412 · 10/01/2009 18:05

12.20am last night, to be exact! I was just drifting off to sleep (something I don't find very easy) when ds1's phone rang, and we could hear him having a happy conversation with the caller.

We called out, so he knew we'd been woken up (and were not entirely happy either) but he carried on talking. When dh went to enquire who was ringing him at that late hour, it turned out to be the girl he fancies, who he's asked out and who hasn't answered him yet.

When further questioned this morning, he remembers receiving the call, but has no recollection whatsoever of what either he or she said - though he's reasonably sure they're not engaged.

But am I being unreasonable to expect a 15-year-old to keep his social life to more sociable hours?

OP posts:
bellavita · 10/01/2009 18:07

although my oldest DS is only 11.7, if he were 15, then yes I would say YANBU.

MoreSpamThanGlam · 10/01/2009 18:07

It is a bit late, but you do sound very strict if you dont mind me saying. you would scare the shit out of me.Sorry.

smudgethepuppydog · 10/01/2009 18:09

If a girl called my DS at 12.20am I'd probably lynch him, the I'd hunt her down and lynch her too (but then I am extremely unreasonable when woken from my sleep).

MsG · 10/01/2009 18:11

Did she ring on the landline or mobile? If it was mobile, surely he could put it on vibrate so it didn't disturb you?

MadamDeathstare · 10/01/2009 18:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bellavita · 10/01/2009 18:12
smudgethepuppydog · 10/01/2009 18:13

Why does Sunnygirl sound strict? The only times our house gets phone calls (on the house phone) at 12.20am is when the call brings bad news. DD takes calls at all hours of the night and day from her boyfriend but she has her ring tone set at a very low volume so she doesn't wake the rest of the house.

LadyOfWaffle · 10/01/2009 18:15

Personally it wouldn't bother me. Aslong as they weren't keeping me up (although it sounds like they did). Get him to have his phone on vibrate at night. I remember chatting to my BFs/nearly BFs all night at that age .

SalBySea · 10/01/2009 18:16

I dont think its unreasonable for her to call (unless it was a landline which woudl be very unreasonable), but maybehe should keep his phone on silent after a certain time and to keep his voice down

MadamDeathstare · 10/01/2009 18:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
sunnygirl1412 · 10/01/2009 18:26

The call was on his mobile which was on vibrate, but it vibrated across the top of his wooden bedside table and that was enough to wake me up - I wasn't properly asleep but was reaching the point where sleep was within my grasp, iyswim.

Interesting to see that MoreSpamThanGlam thinks I sound quite strict - . I suppose I am strict when I have to be but hadn't realise I was coming over as scarily strict on here!!

I am a bit precious about my sleep because I have depression and get insomnia with that - and lack of sleep makes me into a very blue and very grumpy person. Perhaps what I need is one of those eyemasks (anyone putting the bathroom light on at night wakes me), earplugs and something serious to induce deep sleep - then ds1's love life needn't wake me, and I can switch my attention to worrying if she's good enough for him!

OP posts:
SugarBird · 10/01/2009 18:52

Don't think you sound scarily strict at all - could this be because I have teenage DSs and would react in the same way??

DS2 is 14 and has had calls at odd hours from a potential (possibly now actual...) gf but he needs his sleep too and puts his phone on silent when he goes to bed if he needs to get up early - which is most mornings.

YANBU - we worry about them enough without having to be woken up in the night to worry as well!

wintercitylover · 10/01/2009 19:03

don't think it would worry me as long as DS had it on silent. And if it was one off rather than night after night.

It hasn't happened yet, though as he is only 12,

But I have been known to still be in contact with exbf up until abt 1am. he works nights. But it doesn't disturb anyone else because my phone is on silent.

I would sort of think this is to be expected with teenagers.

My colleague at work has an eighteen yr old and a 20 yr old and she said her Xmas was punctuated by their friends using the loo at all times of the day and night. Her Dcs had friends staying over. Then they were asleep until abt 1pm each day.

Sort of normal teenage behaviour don't you think?

debzmb62 · 10/01/2009 19:24

i feel for you to if your son is anything like mine !!! he rings his girlfreind or she rings him at anytime he's just 16 btw and you can here him talking he's now all grown up with a mans deep voice and its so anoying when your just dropping off and all you can hear is mummble mumble bloody mummble lol
feel for you matey really do but as they say we had em lol !

debzmb62 · 10/01/2009 19:30

ps i do have to shout at him sometimes and say don,t use all your miniutes up you ain,t getting anymore lol he,s on a contract but it,ll cost alot if he goes over and i,ve said i,ll take it off him if he does go over touch wood he never has yet !!!and he,s had it for 14 months !!luckalie he's got unlimited text.s and boy does he use them who on earth can send 4000+ text.s in 1 month ??

cat64 · 10/01/2009 19:38

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chloejessmeg · 10/01/2009 19:45

I don't think much of it TBH, I remember talking to boy all night at that age, although it didn't wake my mum up. Was he asleep? Maybe he could stay downstairs and then only go up to bed when he turns his phone off?

load · 10/01/2009 19:45

I would of been peed off too. But, then I also have trouble sleeping every now and then, especially as dh works nights.
There is not a lot you can say though is there!

Lotster · 10/01/2009 19:48

Home phone yes and YANBU - I wouldn't ring anyone after 10pm or before 9am usually. NOt very good manners

Mobile, not really unreasonable.

chloejessmeg · 10/01/2009 21:59

It wasn't the home phone though, it was his mobile

LoveBeingAMummy · 10/01/2009 22:05

tbh this made me think ahhh bless so have to say yabu.

Original poster
sunnygirl1412 · 11/01/2009 01:37

Well - tonight's entertainment was taking him to casualty, as he came off his bike doing some -mother--scaring- death-defying stunt in a bike park. He's got a broken wrist and will be back in tomorrow to have it manipulated under anaesthetic.

Oh - and he phoned the lass today and she explained that she'd rung him by accident - putting his number in her phone, I think - so I'm more inclined to think 'ahhh bless', myself.

I suppose I should go to bed now, as I've got to get him back to hospital at 8am! I don't do 8am on a sunday!!

OP posts:
LoveBeingAMummy · 11/01/2009 07:30

So it could be his wrist and his heart broekn then - good luck at hospital!

bellavita · 11/01/2009 09:16

Boys eh! I have got two lots of this to look forward to, although we have already had a night in hospital last April with a badly broken arm from DS1's stunts playing in the park.

Hope he is ok.

MoreSpamThanGlam · 11/01/2009 14:42

Oh! Just read this thread again and I sound like a right twonk dont I? I also suffer from depression and the slightest noise keeps me awake, so can understand where you are coming from.

I dont think its the end of the world her ringing at that time of night, as long as its not a school night and its not bothering ds. But maybe a chat with him to ask him to set his phone to silent or put it under his pillow?

I am lucky I have a 14 yr old dd and we have not got to the phone calls/boys stage....yet....

Who knows? I will probably be on here saying the same thing soon.

Sorry if I sounded arsey, it wasnt meant to sound that way