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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect an out of an hours doctor to coma and see my doctor when...

160 replies

pinkdolly · 10/01/2009 14:12

My dh is serving away with the forces. I dont drive and even if I did, I am ill with bad flu and a chest infection and 27 weeks pg so cant take anything for it (I haven't slept for 3 days!). I have 2 other young children, 1 of which also has flu.

My poor dd1 (6) has blood coming out her ear and is crying in pain despite having calpol and nurophen. She has flu and I think (tho I am not a doctor myself) she may have perforated her ear drum. She hardly slept all night due to the pain.

Now I know it's not life threatening stuff, but come on you'd think they'd come out and see her. Nope, I have to ring around trying to to find someone to drag her out for me while I stay here looking after myself and my other sick dd. Grrr...!

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 10/01/2009 14:15

my experience of perforated ear drum with my dd was pain stopped,then brown gooey wax ran out....no blood.

yanbu.....

Original poster
pinkdolly · 10/01/2009 14:16

sorry, I am clearly tired, have just re-read my title and it makes no sense whatsoever.

Thanx Brie5

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 10/01/2009 14:23

lol,its clear what you meant though!!

Leo9 · 10/01/2009 14:24

yes you must be exhausted - I thought at first you were talking about someone in a coma!

I agree it sounds very much like the poor girl has perforated her ear-drum; I think it sounds like she needs to be on anti biots personally, must be an ear infection, surely?

Because I have been there and know just how awful it is I would say yes it's a right old pain but you need to get her to the dr asap. They tend not to ever come out for kids afaik because kids can be carried to the surgery if need be; no matter how much of a struggle for the parents! Is there anyone at all who can take her for you or sit with your other child?

Hassled · 10/01/2009 14:26

I agree that blood is not my experience of a perforated ear drum.

YANBU but back in the days when doctors did come out, you'd still have to get to a chemist for the prescription. Good luck with finding someone to take her - is there an MNer near you, do you know?

Leo9 · 10/01/2009 14:26

sorry just seen how ill you are - hope you can get someone to take her. And don't be proud - the situation sounds desperate; ask for all the help you can, do you have family near?

Leo9 · 10/01/2009 14:26

oh meant to say when I had my nasty ear infections I did get blood from the ear.

moondog · 10/01/2009 14:27

Oh FGS, it's hardly a matter of life and death.
Get over yerself.

Leo9 · 10/01/2009 14:30

moondog you are just ooooozing the milk of human kindness!!!

It is not life and death no, but I think most of us have felt like this about things sometimes, coping with ill children when ill and pregnant yourself is pretty exhausting and this poor woman is only having a frustrated moan about how hard it is to deal with the situation.

I always think it's just so mean spirited to post that sort of comment on a thread where someone is simply having a VERY hard time and are feeling desperate.

moondog · 10/01/2009 14:32

Yes, then,it's incredibly tough.I know,I've been there.
But, public forum and all that.
I think home visit unwarranted. Surely a friend or family member could step in?

Lulumama · 10/01/2009 14:33

it must be really, really frustrating , but it is not life threatening. my DH wokrs all weekends , evening etc. I had to get MIL to have DS recently so i could take ill DD to the out of hours doc. I have had to drive myself to teh doctors with flu, high temp, awul chest infection, it sucks, but if you can get out of the house, even if it means a friend.family member helping, then you can get out of the house

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 10/01/2009 14:33

Think it would be useful for you to go with her as without parental authority the doctors are not going to be able to do much...

probably not what you want to hear but it may help speed things up for her.

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 10/01/2009 14:36

Just reread they will obviously do the necessary but it will be more scary for your dd without you there...

And more difficult to get her history etc.

noonki · 10/01/2009 14:37

also it could be something other than a burst ear drum so YANBU at all.

LucyEllensmummy · 10/01/2009 14:39

moondog, have you got hormones lately - you seem really snappish lately - what about some sympathy - or are you just posting for effect?

OP - it is frustrating isn't it. I HATE the out of hours system over here. Ive had to really battle to get my DD seen in the past, as for a home visit - don't make me chuckle! My DD had a temperature and a rash, ok so the rash blanched when pressed but im not a doctor and i don't think that its down to me to decide if something is safe to be left - i wasn't overly concerned about meningitis but i just wanted reassurance by a professional looking at it. It took me 4 phone calls to various nurses and when i finally got through to a doctor she said for me to take her over - I took up all of ten minutes of the doctors time for her to tell me it was a post viral rash and nothing to worry about.

I recently had to drag my mother to a doctors surgery once - after being bollocked by the receptionist because my DP was on the way home from london and likely to be up to an hour - that i was making the doctor wait behind . She needed a home visit really, it was a will she or wont she need hospitalising situation. They down right refused to send someone out - When we got her to the surgery - we waited nearly an hour to see the doctor, in this time, she had collapsed and the doctors offered an ambulance - i said, don't bother and took her there ourselves (i had transport, it would be quicker and that way no ambulance needed).

It is a terrible situation when we can't get medical care when we really need it. The doctors are paid to be on call, but they don't seem to want to get off their arses and actually go out on call. I have in the past asked for home visits for either myself or DD and they have said, OK, but you will have a long wait due to other patients - i can accept that, then i can decide for myself what to do. But a doctors receptionist has NO RIGHT to decide if a patient needs to be seen - she is simply not qualified.

ComeOVeneer · 10/01/2009 14:41

Moondog, no it isn't life and death but it is a pretty ghastly situation to be in. You could have put your point across in a more caring way. I hope you don't come on here needing a bit of sympathy and tlc in an hour of need any time soon

SalBySea · 10/01/2009 14:42

they medics have "triage" thresholds which they HAVE to adhere to in order to distribute stretched resources efficiently.

Surely you can understand that your situation isnt gonna tick the serious boxes from a clinical point of view?

not that I dont have a lot of sympathy for you, it sucks, but you are able to make it to the docs even if it will be a miserable and inconvenient task. There are people who just cant leave their house and the home visits are reserved for them

LucyEllensmummy · 10/01/2009 14:43

pinkdolly, is there anyone who can help you out? You sound like you are really struggling? Can you not take paracetemol? im sure that would help. I sometimes wonder why we bother paying our taxes!

SlightlyMadScientist · 10/01/2009 14:45

Actually I would be more worried about you.

Drs do not normally treat a perforated eardrum (or at least not when my children have had them) because the perforation is actually a resolution to teh pain that is caused by pressure behind the drum. I acknowledge though that it often isn't accompanied by blood - so that may warrant some concern - but as long as the GP knows this over the phone iand is happy not to do a face to face consulation then I wouldn't be concerned.

With regards to you - you can take paracetamol without harming baby. You should take paracetamol. If you have a chest infection then you should also be taking antibiotics. There are ABs which are safe to take in pg. Something like this untreated will be worse for baby than a course of ABs.

LucyEllensmummy · 10/01/2009 14:46

Sal, i see where you are coming from, but i honestly feel that the OPs situation warrants a home visit, OK so its not life threatening, its not urgent (or is it, blood coming from LOs ear isnt something id be prepared to leave). Surely they must allow for this sort of situation, OK so the OP may have to be prepared fora bit of a wait as more "urgent" cases are attended to. Some people totally take the piss out of the system and insist they can't leave the home and they blatantly can - the OP was honest and treated unfairly imo.

SlightlyMadScientist · 10/01/2009 14:46
brimfull · 10/01/2009 14:47

It doesn't warrant a home visit.

I am sure if you don't drive you must surely have someone in mind who can help you out and drive you to out of hours.

SalLikesCoffee · 10/01/2009 14:48

Agree with Sal (hmm, looks strange typing that). I do feel sorry for you though, but with current resources it's just not that important from a medical point of view, sorry.

I say this while not having any family or backup help either, so I understand your frustration.

LucyEllensmummy · 10/01/2009 14:50

I am honestly a bit that there are so many "doctors" here on mnet, how the hell do you know if this warrants a home visit or not? Hopefully the OP is getting things sorted out. A really shitty situation to be in.

SlightlyMadScientist · 10/01/2009 14:56

Clearly the Dr that she spoke to didn't think she warranted a home visit...whcih TBH is the most important advisor that she needs to listen to.

TBH at the weekend I would only expect someone to come to me if it was a 999 job.... (I didn't know they did out of hours call outs)