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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I feel that maybe I am....... what do you think?

36 replies

CrackopentheBaileys · 09/01/2009 11:37

Dh has just informed me that he wants to take ds to golf in the morning at 9.

I am a childminder, I work 7-7 M-F so by friday I'm pretty shattered. I'm doing a night shift tonight so I wont be home until about 1am.
To add to the fatigue ds (8) was sick throught the night on Wed, was off school Thurs, and now today. He is recovered but he was just very tired from the lack of sleep (ditto)
Then, last night dd (1) had a dreadful night with teething.
Ok. I think you have got the idea on my tiredness!
Anyway, I really feel that I need Sat morn to catch up and have a lie in (I can't have Sun as ds has football and dh is coach)

My dh really is lovely, as you can see from the amount of time he is spending with ds.

So here's the question.

Do I demand my lie in or suck it up and get my arse out of bed?!

OP posts:
bigTillyMint · 09/01/2009 11:38

Could you get up and then have a nap later on when DH is back or DD is asleep?

Original poster
CrackopentheBaileys · 09/01/2009 11:44

sorry, forgot to add that dh play football for the town's team, so no rest in the afternoon either! Then sunday is ds footie in the morning and family party in the afternoon. Then would you believe it we are back to M-F again! Am I being lazy??

OP posts:
AMumInScotland · 09/01/2009 11:44

If DS is 8, surely he and DH can manage to get up and out together without needing your help? I'd tell them to get on with it and have the lie-in.

bangandthedirtisgone · 09/01/2009 11:45

Why do you need to get up? Can't DH get him up?

Original poster
CrackopentheBaileys · 09/01/2009 11:45

ah AMumInScotland you are forgetting dd!

OP posts:
Lauriefairycake · 09/01/2009 11:45

she needs to get up for dd (1) whom she will be left with

mumblechum · 09/01/2009 11:45

Maybe dh thinks he's doing you a favour by getting himself and ds out of your hair? That's how I'd see it, shame he can't take the baby out as well but I suppose not really practicable!

bangandthedirtisgone · 09/01/2009 11:47

it's too cold for golf anyway.

AMumInScotland · 09/01/2009 11:48

So otherwise he'd get up with DD and you'd get a lie-in?

Original poster
CrackopentheBaileys · 09/01/2009 11:48

yeah he did say maybe he could take her, but tbh it's not really the place for her!

So he is quite thoughtful, I don't think he's being selfish as it's for ds. But I still want my lie-in!

That sounds awful but it's how it is!

OP posts:
Original poster
CrackopentheBaileys · 09/01/2009 11:49

Exactly AMum. Only when I do the nightshift though.

OP posts:
MadameCastafiore · 09/01/2009 11:49

YANBU - tell him he can go if he can get a sitter for DD.

Divineintervention · 09/01/2009 11:49

You are both parents of two children, as you are in need of rest DH will have to take care of both.

nametaken · 09/01/2009 11:50

Let em go, kids today don't get enough exercise as it is.

Original poster
CrackopentheBaileys · 09/01/2009 11:51

hmmm, that sounds like the divineintervention I was hoping for

OP posts:
AMumInScotland · 09/01/2009 11:51

Well, if you're very tired it's not unreasonable to want a lie-in one day of the two at the weekend, and if your DH has plans for both mornings then that means you have no chance, so I think it's a bit unfair of him to want to go out both mornings. Obviously he's not being deliberately unfair, he may just not realise the impact it has on you.

Couldn't they go to golf in the afternoon instead, or does it have to mean going out at 9?

bigTillyMint · 09/01/2009 11:53

Let him take DD if he's offering

Divineintervention · 09/01/2009 11:53

With pleasure, my child!!!

Original poster
CrackopentheBaileys · 09/01/2009 11:53

I see your point Nametaken and in general I agree, but he's a pretty active kid. His weeks looks like this.....Tae Kwondo Tues, Cubs Tues eve, football training Thurs, Football match Sun. And he goes for a run with his dad in the mornings during the summer (how cute!) and plays golf twice a month ish

OP posts:
Original poster
CrackopentheBaileys · 09/01/2009 11:55

lol at divine

BTM she's got conjunctavitis now and is generally pretty miserable so I couldn't do it to her..... nice thought though.

Tbh I do feel that IABU so I'm sure they'll end up going. More for ds's enjoyment than anything

OP posts:
Alibear1 · 09/01/2009 11:57

YANBU - I would ask DH to skip the golf this weekend so that you can catch up on some sleep, it's not like he and DS won't be spending any time together because they have the football on Sunday.

coppertop · 09/01/2009 11:57

I don't think YABU. Weekends should be about the whole family. If you are looking after dd on Sunday while dh does his thing then I think it's only fair that the Saturday morning should be for you.

Divineintervention · 09/01/2009 11:59

Remember there are four people in your family and whilst your ds is very important and will have a lovely time, it is not essential that he goes. By the sound of it your DH is a pretty decent chap and would understand and will go again, meaning that ds won't miss out. Don't put yourself at the bottom of the pile this weekend as I'm sure you are there, by choice, more often than not.

Original poster
CrackopentheBaileys · 09/01/2009 12:02

thanks all, some pretty sound advice.
Sometimes it can be difficult to remove yourself from the situation and get a little perspective.
So it appears that maybe IANBU after all. Whoopie. I shall speak to dh when he gets home and maybe give him this page printed out as 'told you so' backup!

OP posts:
naturalbornmum · 09/01/2009 12:44

Demand your lie in defintley.