to want to resist the Nintendo DS peer pressure thing?

[Wordsmith]

DS (8.5) doesn't have a Nintendo DS. It does seem that most other kids he knows do have one and he's often commented that he feels left out. But he does have a Playstation 2 and plays on the computer, and watches a reasonable amount of TV, so I have tried to resist the pressure to get him a DS as I feel he does and has enough screen-based stuff already - it's all he ever seems to think about.

He's going to a friend's birthday party in a couple of weeks which involves them being driven somewhere for about 40 minutes. Apparently all the other kids have arranged to take their DSs to play with in the car and he's worried about feeling left out.

Obviously I'm not going to spend £90 odd quid just so he can feel part of the gang on a car trip, but I a beginning to wonder how reasonable it is for me to feel so strongly against him having a DS. The way he talks it's almost as though he's a social pariah without one. I'd love to suggest he makes friends with some less materialistic kids but as we call know, that ain't gonna happen.

My thoughts are:

• he's had some great presents this Christmas, including a brand new bike that was over £100, and we really can't afford anything else (and, morally speaking, don't tend to buy him 'something for nothing'. He gets presents at Christmas and on his birthday).
• he has a 4 year old brother who would want one too (and not understand why he couldn't).
• I don't see why we should buy him something just because everyone else has one
• It's his birthday in March, but even then I really don't want, or can afford, to buy him one.
• I dread him turning onto the type of kid who can't take a car journey without having a screen to look at.

But on the other hand...

• is there anything so bad about Ninterndo DSs
• I don't want him to feel the odd one out
• Am I being a bit of an old fashoned fuddy duddy.

My DH thinks we should get him one (even though he doesn't really want him to have one and he'll be shouting at him to turn it off most of the time) and has seen some on e-Bay for about £50. He doesn't want him to feel the odd one out.

For me it's not about the money, although it is an expensive present and we are supposed to be trying to save money. It's the principle of the thing.

Am I right or am I sacrficing my child's feelings on the altar of my own?

I went to our mother and toddlers group today and was shocked to see myy DD's playmate had been given a DS from Santa!!!!!!! 3 yrs old?????

ohforfoxsake, my post wasn't to you doll, it was the 3 before yours (aside from sinkingfast ).

Anyway, wordsmith, what we have here is a split decision So you're going to have to go on your own gut instinct. Fat lot of use we are, PMSL!!! And I bid you a peaceful sleep x.

Loobeyloo - I agree, but in my experience DSs are a much bigger issue with boys than girls. Playing nicely and wanting to read books is more embedded in girls, I have found (best friends have 2 girls the same age as my boys, and the difference is quite striking).

Still haven't decided what we'll do, but may well get himmone for his birthday in March.

Not my house Wordsmith, DD plays with her ds far more that DS and as I said previously most of the time she plays with it is when she is connected to her friends, so no more solitary than reading (which she also does a lot of)

Ohforfoxsake, how long have you had the Wii?

I can see that it is worrying that it seems to be taking over but banning it is only going to increase it's attraction and not much point having it if you don't play it.

We have had our Wii for about 18 months. DS found it really hard to stop playing at first but now when the timer rings, he is happy to run it off and go and do something else.

It is still the first thing he wants to do every weekend (we don't Wii on school days) but once it is out of his system he doesn't pester us.

turn it off

I think the apeal of the Nintendo DS is that it is educational, and teached hand eye coordination to, i know alot of children with SN needs that use it as a tool to helo them.
I am going to get one for DS when he is older (only 4 at the moment) becuase he spends alot of time in hospital so they are invaluable for that (i use mine when he's in the hospital now) and really for any situatio where they are going to be bored i.e long car journeys.

They thing about them is they are solo things but can very easily be a social activity as like people have said its so easy to link with friends and share games and chat.

A large proportion of the games are educational i.e brain training/puzzles and alot of games are designed for younger children.

Its the same as anything though if its used in moderation its great, much better than plonking your bum onfront of a console on the t.v and not moving for a while.

For any adults who are interested i used to use my DS while on my excersise bike!

i remember watching the "child of our time" programme about 18 months ago....one of the little boys was a hardcore gamer. prof. robert winston said that in his opinion games were'nt bad...children who played all sorts of video games on a regular basis had a very good grasp of problem solving, and showed that they understood alternative ways of thinking around things.....or somthing like that!!

my ds, 8 has has a ds for years...he plays on it regularly, and plays all sorts of games...many of them are creative, most involve reading to a certain extent, and most of them he plays involve an amount of thinking rather than just button bashing.

op...if you do get one, look into buying a special card called an r4....although there may be an updated one now.... you can down load games onto it...they are not wholly legal though as far as i know, so obviously, we don't have one!

not directed at the OP but i find that some parents think that anything old fashioned is better for their kids so shun any modern development

tis bollocks get with the times

I like the way you put that ggirl.

My DS (7) bought his today with his birthday money he saved from last September. He wanted a red one and they've been sold out everywhere because of Christmas but today I got it and surprised him. He was thrilled.

He won't be glued to it (after the novelty has worn off) because (1) I'm in charge around here and (2) he likes doing other stuff like Lego and drawing too.

They do have their place and I am trying to be 21st century about it and not bang on about making our own fun with cardboard boxes and camps in the woods like in "my day"!

Incidentally, it makes him feel sick if he uses it in the car! He's used my DD's before now on a journey and always feels sick.

I think you can get e-books for the Nintendo. Obviously it's a small screen but I think they would be fine as an alternative.

A nintendo ds is just a toy. I don't want my children to feel really left out of things just because they don't have a particular toy. I know some people will strongly disagree with that, but I don't see the point in objecting to anything unless there are very strong grounds. And I don't see strong reasons against a nintendo.

Being able to afford it could be a problem, yes. When dd1 wanted one we had a much lower income. The gps gave her money for her birthday and between us all, she got enough money for one.

And today seen in HMV there is "Learn Japanese" Nintendo DS game. Think of the education value!!!!!

just so you know...ds arent actually solo, if you have wifi connection you can hook up to that and play anyone anywhere. or some games (mario kart for example) you can get where you only need one person to have the game but as long as say, ds and his best mate are sat near each other, they can both play using their own ds's.(this is very confusing..i apologise!!)
nintendo ds are really aimed for kids this age. only tonight i was talking to a friend who had one bought for her recently but she actually bought games for her 6yo dd who plays on it. there are soo many educational games out there..e books, puzzle games, even a game like nintendogs is great because it teaches them about responsibility etc and also the touch screen aspect teaches dexterity, hand/eye co-ordination etc
they arent as expensive either if you go into game or gamestation and get one "pre owned". THey are probably more than 50 quid but they are reliable and in good working order(i wouldnt trust getting a ds off of e bay because thay are prone to touch screen wear and tear, for a little bit extra you can get a guarentee from game to replace the whole system if the screen goes wrong!)
games you can buy like that too..in fact in game they often have bogof offers on ds games anyway!!
like mrsmattie says, take the ps2 and all the games into the shop and ask for a trade in price, that will then make it a bit cheaper and stop your worry about having too many games?!

I'd get him one if you can.

But be careful, I read somewhere that a lot of the cheap ones are fakes. That £50 bargin on ebay is likely to be a fake I'd have thought.