to expect ds's teacher

[claw3]

to try and understand his disorder and the problems he has because of it. He has modulation disorder, basically all of his senses are heightened and he is very defensive of touch and his body etc.

Ds's (4.5) first day at school on Monday, it had snowed during the night, first time he has experienced snow. He was ok with snow being on the ground, but didnt want to touch it. Anyhow while in the playground it started to snow, the snow was falling on his face and he freaked. I took him into the school building, teacher saw us waiting inside and told us we werent allowed to wait inside. I explained, but she told us to wait outside saying he had better get used to as he would have to go out in it later!

Today he has PE and will be expected to get changed into his PE kit. I commented to the teacher that she may have problems getting him to take his clothes off. She told me, he will learn.

Totally agree you need to meet with the key ppl who have daily contact with your son. It will be INSET from the person who knows most about it - if I were your son's teacher, I would be grateful since the condition must affect individual children quite differently.

If I get told I have a child with ASD in my class, I know to be alert for certain behaviours and know that certain tasks they might find very straightforward or very problematic, but it's not until often there is a problem and a parent puts me fully in the picture can I then tailor what I am doing for them. Parents assume that because they have spoken to the SEN coordinator at the start of year 7 (secondary in my case) that everyone is informed and everything is in place, when often what you get told is diluted down. At my school, parents of brothers with a very particular SN meet with their dcs teachers at the beginning of every academic year - as it is unlikely that staff can remember everything relayed to them in 2009 when they might actually first teach them in 2012, iyswim.

Heated - Im going to arrange a meeting with the SENCO and will ask that the teacher be present too.

I could word it as i would like to discuss how his first week has gone and then tell them my concerns etc, what do you think?

Claw - Lewisfan obviously has a point that teachers aren't being given any SEN training and it really isn't good enough.

IME the problem is not that they don't know, or even that they haven't bothered to do some research themselves, it is that they don't admit they don't know. My DS1's teacher last year didn't have a clue how to treat him (he has AS and dyspraxia) but she was so blaise whenever I tried to speak to her about anything, that had I only just got a dx like you I would probably have been floored and he would have slipped through the net and not got his therapy last year. Left to her nothing would have been done.

There is an agency that can help you get a statement - these people - www.ipsea.org.uk

They were recommended by somebody else. I don't think you need to go through the school to get a statement so I am told but that website should help.

My ds's teacher makes me feel like a kid when i try to speak to her, kinda yes, yes dear, now stop worrying i deal with kids on a daily basis, run along!!

That sounds good claw - any chance the OT can come too?

Niecie - It's sad and frustrating that your ds's teacher wasn't prepared to admit she didn't know how best to teach your son, but not all teachers are like that (I'm certainly not!!!) . I hope that given the correct information and support, Claw's ds's teacher will come up trumps! Given the support of MN - I suspect Claw is going to be extremely vigilant and pro-active .

The OCT is going into the school on the 19th Jan to talk to the SENCO and the teacher, perhaps i should ask if i can tag along instead?

Have picked ds up from school now, another untouched lunch and drink. Ive asked him about lunch time and who he sits with etc, in the hope i might be able to pick up on something. He told me no one behaves and they are not nice. Prompted a bit more, not behaving and not being nice mean they are all noisy and throw food.

I think he is worried about their food being thrown and touching him, that really would be a shock, horror situation to him. And the noise is probably a bit overwhelming for him.

I know Claw - DS's teacher last year tried to treat me like but she was nearly half my age so she wasn't very convincing. As for the OT, it has always been expected that I will go to the sessions too (we don't get them very often - most of the programme was done by a TA) so I would have thought you would be invited. If not make sure they know you want to be invited every time.

Littlefish - she was in her first full year of teaching and about 23 so you would think she would realise there was no hiding her inexperience and just 'fess up to not knowing. I 'wasn't the only one she annoyed. This year's teacher is also fresh out of college , as is DS2's and both of them realise they don't know it all yet and are happy to ask for help from those that do like their head of year or the HT.

I know Claw - DS's teacher last year tried to treat me like but she was nearly half my age so she wasn't very convincing. As for the OT, it has always been expected that I will go to the sessions too (we don't get them very often - most of the programme was done by a TA) so I would have thought you would be invited. If not make sure they know you want to be invited every time because you know your DS best.

Littlefish - she was in her first full year of teaching and about 23 so you would think she would realise there was no hiding her inexperience and she would just 'fess up to not knowing. I wasn't the only one she annoyed. This year's teacher is also fresh out of college , as is DS2's and both of them realise they don't know it all yet and are happy to ask for help from those that do like their head of year or the HT.

That's such a shame Niecie. I do remember my first class though, the feelings of inadequacy, waiting to be found out etc! However, that's no excuse, the only way to improve as a teacher is to bite the bullet and ask for help.

I've been teaching for 12 years now, but ask for help on a daily basis in my new school because so many children have behavioural difficulties that I haven't dealt with before. Heaven only knows what my classroom would be like if I didn't ask for help!

Niecie - This teacher is an older woman, been teaching at the school for years and years. She does make me feel like im making a fuss over nothing and ive only made one comment to her about you might have a problem getting him to take his clothes off for PE!! to which she replied he will learn as she ushered me away!! I cant wait until i have a real problem

Im hoping it is just a case of she doesnt have much info or understanding of modulation disorder and will appreciate being giving some. I get the feeling she will see this as me undermining her teacher skills. Finger crossed, she turns out be understanding.

Claw-The teacher may have a problem getting her head around your son's dx, especially as it isn't a condition that is often encoutered in schools.

Definitely go along to the meeting with the teacher and the OT, I would ask if the SENCo could attend too. I know from many years of reading statements that the only true way to get a true picture of any child is to speak to the parnet/carer and to meet the child themselves. Our school has several sessions where the child comes in with mum/dad/carer for an hour or so and spends time with their new classmates and staff before starting fulltime school

I'd press for a statement. Statements don't have to just be given for learning delays. They set a contract of what kind of help your child is entitled to in an educational setting, it would make it easier for the school in the future if they need to appoint a TA for him to be able to access some areas of the curriculum, you've said that he will find messy play etc very difficult so some 1-2-1 might be necessary for him at some point to enable him to become accustomed to messy play. If his learning will be affected by the general noise in the classroom (does he have trouble filtering out background noise?) the he might need the help of a TA to help him keep focussed. A statement will help him, you and the school.

Hi Claw - As regards to your DS not eating his lunch and worse still not having a drink!!! is he drinking at any other point in the day? does he drink milk?

School really need to offer him a space/place where he can relax in so that is able to eat and drink!! the disablity discrimination act statea that schools are expected to make reasonable adjustments for children with SNs.

claw- sorry that the school haven't been as considerate as they should have been.

I teach a child with a very similar condition. He isn't statemented but does receive 11 hours of additional support a week. This means he has a TA with him for any physical activities, to support him with any academic difficulties and we work together to develop his independence, food issues and sensory difficulties. (He doesn't eat any hot or cold food, and doesn't really chew!)

I wouldn't get hung up about pushing for a statement as some LAs simply DON'T statement.
Yes, you need to meet with the SENCO, the class teacher and the foundation stage TA so that you can brief them on the sort of things he will find difficult and may prevent him from fully accessing the curriculum. They can then digest that and see how much help he needs and whether or not he needs to be on the special needs register , and if so what provision is appropriate. The school should minute that and give you a copy.
I would be tempted to type a simple list of his areas of difficulty and to pass that to the school so that it can be passed on to future teachers in his records. Whilst his needs will change over the years, I always find it helpful to see how far a child has already come.

Good luck

Morning Smudge - Yes messy play he will avoid at all costs, he will first try avoiding, then distraction, then if forced into it, he will get upset. I was the proud owner of one hand print on a mother days card. Until the nursery told me that they had told him your mum will be the only one without a card if you dont do it, when trying to encouraging him didnt work!

He seems to be ok with background noise, just loud noises his hands go over his ears or lots of noise he finds very irritating.

Twocutedarlings - He drinks milk for breakfast at about 8am before school. He takes a water bottle to school, but again doesnt drink any. Its not until he gets home from school at about 3.45 that he takes the drink out of his lunch box and drinks it.

He is obviously finding the lunch hall very stressful at the moment, as with any new experience for him, it takes him a lot longer to adjust than a 'normal' child. Him eating lunch somewhere quiet on his own, i would use only as a last resort. I will however ask the school whereabouts he sits next week. He might be sat right in the middle of the hall or next to the school dinners.

Sounds like he's a gem, claw... certainly meet with his teacher and give her any literature about him you can

Lewis - He really is so well behaved, sometimes to the point of being too good to be true! (mostly caused by his disorder) he likes to sit quietly and draw and do puzzles for hours on end (that way nothing unexpected can happen). You tell him something once and usually dont have to tell him again. At the end of every day he tidies his toys away without being asked (he hates disapproval)

Thats what makes it so frustrating, when the 'experts' suggests he doesnt eat because he is being defiant. If he could eat, he would, just to please you if nothing else.

Re: lunchtimes - they can be daunting for the most confident child at the beginning of term! I teach a year 2 child who is on the autistic spectrum. He finds noise very, very difficult so most days he eats his lunch either in the classroom with me or my jobshare, or if we're not here, wears ear muffs and goes into the hall. The ear muffs work really well by the way!

The school will be able to accomodate your ds if they want to. They just have to stop assuming that he will do the same as everyone else just because they say he has to!

Being able to treat children as individuals is why I came to work at my present school.

Littlefish you sound lovely, really hope my ds encounters understanding teachers like you, when he starts school this August.

How did your ds get on today Claw? I would be tempted to discuss my ds doing half days until they/you could resolve the eating and drinking issue, or is it possible you could take your ds out of school for lunch?

Thank you Aefondkiss. I try my best. I just think I'm really lucky to able to work with fabulous children who inspire, amuse and challenge me .

Claw3 - is it worth considering taking him home for lunch for a couple of weeks? Is this possible for you, or do you work? I'm not suggesting you do it forever, but your ds is coping with a lot of changes at the moment, and it just might help to alleviate some of his (and your) stress.

Littlefish - Agree with Afondkiss, i wish you were my ds's teacher.

Ds actually ate some lunch today and drunk his drink, so progress. I would really like ds to be including as much as possible in lunch times at school. But a brilliant idea, coming home for lunch, if all else fails. He doesnt usually eat much more at home, but at least he drinks.

If and when you have time would you mind popping over to the special needs thread i started www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/679033-Statements?pg=2 your advice and comments would be much appreciated.

Thanks

drank his drink rather.

Pleased to hear he has had a better day today claw .

As regards to bringing him home for lunch i would avoid this if you can, they school will just become reliant on it and be less likely to work with you on finding a solution.

I've replied on your other thread too Claw. Thanks for your kind comment above. That's a real compliment .