To be cross that my mother has just got up (11:45 a.m.), and told me that ...

[clumsymum]

It was very upsetting laying and listening to me shout at ds before school this morning, and there must be a better way to get his behaviour back in line.

Since 9 o'clock I've done 2 loads of washing, dealt with some office work, cleaned up the kitchen, ok mumsnetted a bit too, and she's done ....... nothing.

There is a better way. You mum could get up and deal with him for you. Problem solved

I don't wake up on a morning. The screaming banshee deals with my children untill I chase her away with copious amounts of coffee at about 10am

Sycamore, That was my first suggestion, but apparently it isn't a grandparent's job (I don't think she caught the irony).

She's staying until Friday, but I'm not sure I won't strangle her before that.

YANBU. Neither my mum or my MIL would do this, and I (Or DH)would show them the door if they did.

I would ask her, in my best and most serious voice, what her suggestions might be, and that I'd very happily give them a try.

See what she says, and make sure she witnesses it when they completely and utterly fail!

She says she didn't get up to help, as my sister has told her that I'm trying to deal with him going thru' a difficult patch right now, and she mustn't interfere.

Did she miss something about the 'not interfering'? It does also mean to keep your beak out!!!!

Well "shouting at him doesn't do either of you any good, but I'm not sure what else to suggest" was proffered as advice.

She's gone for a shower and some 'breakfast'
(during which she will make herself a cup of coffee, but not even offer to make me one.)

and she is staying ...why exactly? send her home!

If she had been up would she have been any help or would she just have got in the way?
Perhpas you could ask her to get him ready for school (and take him!) tomorrow?

Lazy bint.

Why is she bothering to stay if she spends half of the day in bed!

She is staying because she doesn't see enough of her grandson, so every so often she has to come for a week to annoy us (lives 130 miles away).

She always stays in bed, mornings don't feature in her life. Her greatest disaster is to get a hospital or dentist appointment before 2 p.m.

Yesterday she read the paper, took some tinsel off the christmas tree, and switched off ds's light at bedtime. he never even puts her cups in the dishwasher.

She sounds like my MIL. Makes a mess, doesnt clear up after herself etc.

I know you will all be truly impressed to hear that she has sat down to watch the news now on TV.

I wouldn't mind if she'd just offer to do something. I'll ask her in a bit to iron a shirt or two while telly is on, and she'll make a big thing about her back pain afterwards.

My MIL always likes to cook the evening meals when she's staying.....always what she wants I might add. This is a help to me but she NEVER clears up after herself and it drives me up the wall! Is it really too much trouble for her to tidy as she goes along? We have a dishwasher so all she has to do is put things in there as she uses them. But oh no..without fail after the meal she will park her fat butt in front of the TV and I will be left with a bombsite of a kitchen to tidy and clean.

My mum would cook us an evening meal if we would have Dolmio spag bol or some sort of ready meal.

She used to be a great cook, but now can't be bothered, which makes me want to weep with frustration.

well if she is staying to spend more time with grandson couldn't you get him to ask her to take him to school? will get her out her bed and it may appeal to her maternal instincts if ds asks..........

No, she wouldn't get out of bed for that, she'll just tell him that is Mummy's job, she'll see him at tea-time.

Trust me, we'd have to be shelled in a war-zone to get her out of bed before 10:30

i would tell her that she can't stay with you anymore if this is how she is going to be ...serioulsy!!

I am going to have to, because I'm sitting in my office now (work at home) feeling soooo resentful I can't get anything done.

Last night DH was putting away all the Christmas decorations, I was cooking, ds had gone to get undressed, and I suggested that she might like to get her own drink before dinner (thinking she might get us all one). Instead she just sat and waited until dh had finished "because I like the way he makes my martini, he does it just right"

She sounds like my mum, who has to be the laziest person on the planet. I love her but could throttle her.

I would honestly ask her why she wants to stay with you, two busy working parents. If she says it is because she wants to se more of her GS then I would state that she needs to get up in the morning..perhaps at least take him to school once or twice in a week and could help out by cooking/preparing food and drinks on occasion too. if this causes her unseen distress then suggest she curtails her visits...

Is she deliberately trying to upset you

sounds a bit like my mum too!!

she's a lazy moo. she's staying till friday. tbh i haven't the faintest idea how she brought up two kids relatively well.