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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find my wife physically repulsive?

43 replies

pedro70 · 06/01/2009 01:13

I am no oil painting and do not want someone else but I can't help recoiling when my wife gets too close. She has really lost her looks since kids started arriving 5 years ago and now lots of things make my skin crawl - like the way she eats like a cow and drools in her sleep. I can't help feeling like this and please don't start saying 'perhaps she feels unattractive because...'. There is no way I am leaving the kids but don't know what to do to change the way I feel??? I can't be the only one, surely? Generally we get on fine but can't think it is a good thing that I find it embarrasing going out in public with her. I know I am being unfair and I do love her but this is an honest post! I would never upset her by saying anything nasty to her directly but not sure I can pretend to fancy her for the rest of my life. Like I say, I am not criticising her as she tries her best to look good but she will admit she has aged a lot! AS I ADMIT, I HAVE BEEN HIT WITH THE UGLY STICK SO NOT A CASE OF 'I AM TOO GOOD FOR HER!'

OP posts:
FAQtothefuture · 06/01/2009 01:14

haven't you got school tomorrow - surely you should be in bed by now

Alambil · 06/01/2009 01:16

Let her go - she deserves a man that loves her for who and what she is.

Jacksmama · 06/01/2009 01:18

are you for real????

spookycharlotte121 · 06/01/2009 01:18

Well how about taking her out shopping for the day for some new cloths? Treat her to a new hair cut and a manicure? Spend some time alone together away from the kids and get to know one another again, remember the things that made you fall in love with her in the first place. Looks arnt everything. If the eating is bugging you then pull her up on it. there is no excuse for bad table manners.

andaSOLOnewyear · 06/01/2009 01:19

Then you should be grateful she puts up with your ugly mug. No doubt you snore and grunt and fart your way through life too! If you really love your wife, you wont even see her slight imperfections.
Try looking at her differently. Think about her differently and maybe you'll start to feel differently about her.

mindalina · 06/01/2009 01:36

Really hot people drool in their sleep as well you know.

KnickersOnMaHead · 06/01/2009 01:49

Message withdrawn

Rindercella · 06/01/2009 02:26

same twat obviously posted here

Nekabu · 06/01/2009 09:50

What lurks under bridges and tries to eat billy goats ...

Jacksmama · 06/01/2009 16:59

a f-cking troll...

lillypie · 06/01/2009 17:11

oh feck off

LiffeyAnnaLivia · 06/01/2009 17:12

let her go, so that she's not wasting her life with you pedro. How sad that she's already wasted five years with you.

piscesmoon · 06/01/2009 17:20

I don't know why you are posting unless a troll. You can't write a post like that about someone you profess to love.

donnie · 06/01/2009 17:22

pedro - post a pic of yourself and then we will decide if you are worth shagging. I suspect the answer will be in the negative though.

crokky · 06/01/2009 17:23

People do lose their looks as they get older so this is just nature and therefore you will have to accept this.

Having children also takes it out of the rest of your body - it is hard work being pregnant, giving birth, breastfeeding and looking after children. This is something else you must accept.

As for eating like a cow - is she in a major hurry? Perhaps you would look after the children to give her a chance to eat in peace "nicely".

Drooling in sleep - can't help it! Go to sleep yourself and you won't see it. Do some chores if she is asleep and you can't sleep.

As long as she is clean (ie bathed etc) and tidy, you have no reason to feel repulsed.

CoteDAzur · 06/01/2009 17:26

It's easy in a long marriage to just slump into routine and think of each other as roommates. Attraction fades soon afterwards.

Make a date. Take her out to dinner & movies on a weekend night. Turn off the TV and talk. You might begin to remember why you married her.

Lulumama · 06/01/2009 17:30

trolls are getting so yawnsome
off you fuck, there's a dear

Pingping · 06/01/2009 17:32

LOL at this thread Pedro you are a twit maybe your wife doesn't make an effort because she don't want you near her.

shootfromthehip · 06/01/2009 17:34

You know, I too have this problem. I've really gone off my fella what with his beer gut, crap conversation and supercilious attitude. Or maybe not. You pop em out and then see how you feel about it mate. Nothing like giving the mother of your kids a bit of respect or leeway. Away with you.

MadameCheese · 06/01/2009 17:38

PMSL at this thread and Lulu!

LiffeyAnnaLivia · 06/01/2009 17:48

Good point Donnie, cos if he's ugly on the inside, and ugly on the outside toooo, then he should be grateful he has somebody next to him at all! snoring, dribbling and foraging at trough or not.

ilovelovemydog · 06/01/2009 17:54

Is it still half term

kittywise · 06/01/2009 17:55

This is funny

DesperateHousewifeToo · 06/01/2009 18:28

Dh is that you?

theboob · 06/01/2009 18:35

LOL as if any man would post that on a site with thousands of women looking for advise!!! somebody must be very very bored