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Original poster

To complain to ELC about the misogynist attitudes in Happyland?!?

107 replies

Bramshott · 05/01/2009 14:48

DD2 was given a Happyland Rose Cottage for Christmas, which is great and she enjoys playing with. So far, so good. But I was at the packing which trumpets:
"Mr Barley teaches geography in Happyland"
and then
"Mrs Barley keeps the cottage tidy and clean"

Am I turning into a grumpy sod in my old age, or is this a really bad message to be sending out to young girls? Obviously DD2 can't read it, but DD1 (6) can.

I'm going to email them I think (quick, before you all tell me I am being unreasonable and need to get a life !)

OP posts:
fruitstick · 05/01/2009 18:47

I do love the notion that our children give a hoot about what the toys represent or are used for.

Ds farm is currently being terrorised by dinosaurs

Pan · 05/01/2009 18:48

Teaching geography?

matildax · 05/01/2009 18:49

no not really i was merely pointing out that some mums do stay home and cook and clean. it is up to the individual family, and just because we are all are so 'pc' these days,(or try to be) and everything has to be just so, there is absolutely nothing wrong with writing those words on a toy box.
children will open the box, and play whatever game they want to with the toys inside. the dolls/characters etc will maybe become different people each time they play. that is the beauty of these toys.
children have huge imaginations, they will do with them what they will.

matildax · 05/01/2009 18:49

exactly fruitstick i cross posted with you, but that is what i was trying to say

xfabba · 05/01/2009 18:52

good one F&Z! I too find it strange people don't see the potential effect when there is so much research out there to say that it does.

kerala · 05/01/2009 18:55

Has anyone read the disney version of Snow White recently? Snow White breaks into the dwarves cottage and tidies it up and puts a stew on the fire. They know a girl has been there because it is so "clean and tidy"

purepurple · 05/01/2009 19:15

i have played worked with lots of children during my career and there really arn't any gender specific toys. Boys will happily play with dolls and teasets and girls will happily play with construction and cars etc. What I do know is that children copy what they see in their play, so if they see daddy doing the ironing and mummy fixing the car that's what they want to do.To have a 90 year old gay black lesbian in Happyland just because she should be there is tokenism. Some families have 2 parents, but some don't. Some mums stay at home but some don't. That is life.

Mutt · 05/01/2009 19:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

prettybutterfly · 05/01/2009 19:36

LittleBella, relevant to your 'pink is for boys' post, the baby boy in the Disney movie Lady and the Tramp wears a pink babygrow.

chegirl · 05/01/2009 19:39

I have noticed that ELC has got more and more like this in the last few years. Most of their domestic stuff is pink (I love pink) and the 'boys' stuff is blue. I am sure when my biggies were littlies it was much more neutral (as in blinding primary colours). I also hate the way mothercare (where our ELC is) divide and lable their toys 'boys toys' and 'girls toys'. Guess where they keep the ironing boards?

I would like a dolls house for me my son but they are SOOOO girly.

Didnt ELC used to be really right on about 15 years ago?

prettybutterfly · 05/01/2009 19:43

I'd ideally like my sons to be able to do everything useful, from gutting a fish or making a fire with no matches to properly ironing a dress shirt - without wondering if it's manly or not. It's all peopley.

I'd feel exactly the same if I had a daughter.

I think I mean I'm happy to have toys around which reinforce 'traditional' roles and I'm equally happy to balance them out with things that subvert or challenge those roles.

I wouldn't like everything in the shops to show girls in hard hats and boys in pinnies ... and especially not just because some twat in a board room thinks the money is in right-on, gender-bending toys this year.

It's all ridiculous crap designed to part you from your money.

EachPeachPearMum · 05/01/2009 19:52

Chegirl- you can get a non-painted dolls house from toys r us- with furniture. I bought it for DD for christmas. She also had duplo, and lots of books- no pink or sparkly crap.

YANBU- this issue drives me utterly insane, but I am too ill to rant today.

There is nothing wrong with making toys in primary colours, but of course they want you to buy into the whole blue and pink thing as it makes twice as many sales.

juuule · 05/01/2009 19:57

Chegirl, what makes it 'girls stuff' and 'boys stuff'? The fact it's pink or blue?

What makes a 'girly' doll's house?

If one of mine, boy or girl, wanted an ironing board it wouldn't make any difference which aisle it was on.

Having said all that, I do find it irritating that shops divide toys, aisles etc separately for girls and boys. But that doesn't mean you have to take any notice of that.

xfabba · 05/01/2009 19:58

thats the dolls house we've got - the one the dad said shouldnt be in our playroom as we have 2 boys - it's great. We have had hours of play out of it - all sorts of scenarios, carpark, 3 bears cottage, family, hospital etc. (I also like playing tidying it when they are in bed).

How much did you pay for it out of interest? I bought it just before the christmas before last and it was "half-price" £50 - I noticed in the Spring it went back up to £100. Did it go down again for last Xmas? I know a friend was looking at it but didnt want to pay £100.

EachPeachPearMum · 05/01/2009 20:11

xfabba- our was half price- bought it in october i think.

xfabba · 05/01/2009 20:20

that's what I thought - dont pay more than £50 which is clearly the real price except just before Christmas - cynical!

noonki · 05/01/2009 20:37

Chegirl - we have dolls house, and a cooker, doll and pram and a hoover ... and my three boys love them (more than I did as a kid!),

they also have other toys but given that their dad does as much cooking and cleaning and they will too once old enough it only seems right.

chegirl · 05/01/2009 21:43

I have had loads of stuff over the years for my older boy, prams, ironing boards etc etc but they were cute toys. Now they seem totally over the top and I think they would put my younger ones off IYSWIM. They would think they were 'girl's toys' because they are pink and glittery and have fairies all over them.

I dont know why mothercare think that the toys are boy's or girl's toys. Thats how they lable them. They have stickers and signs all up the aisles and the hoovers, ironing boards and dollies are in the girl's bit and the cars, tractors etc are in the boy's bit.

Why do they feel the need to dictate this to parents? I may be looking back at the early ninties with rose tinted glasses but I seem to remember that things were improving at that point.

I think I will have a look for that dolls house mentioned and then I can have fun on my own doing it my way involving my boys in decorating it!

It may not be a huge issue, but I fought against this sterotyping when my DD and DS1 were little and I didnt think it would sort of turn back full circle. Its all gone a bit 50's.

leeloo1 · 05/01/2009 23:54

Not entirely on topic, but I really really hate some of the slogans on clothing in mothercare and boots - all the girls stuff has 'mummy's beautiful baby princess' written on it and boys stuff has 'daddy's little monster'. Oh and in Boots I saw boys t-shirts that said 'always up to no good' and 'always causing trouble' - I'm amazed anyone would buy the latter for their small boys, I know its supposed to be tongue in cheek but what kind of message is that giving them?

Plonker · 06/01/2009 00:04

I tell you what drives me mad - those fecking Tonka adverts!!!
What is it now ...'built for boys' or something like that, grrrrr

'Cos everyone knows that girls can't play with Tonka trucks ...!

Sexist pigs

Ashantai · 06/01/2009 00:12

I was waiting for the slogans on t-shirts post I'm surprised it hasnt come up before now.

We had a woman giving out to us because 2 of our strollers have slogans, princess and cheeky monkey and she objected to the cheeky monkey one. I did point out that there were loads of other strollers to choose from without slogans but she was adamant she wanted a stroller for her son with a slogan, but no way was he a cheeky monkey!

Good grief Charlie Brown....!

I bought my son a t-shirt with "here comes trouble" on it, cos it was cute. I dont expect him to turn into a hoodie mugging old grannies cos of a shirt he wore when he was 2

Ashantai · 06/01/2009 00:13

Oh and i gave my daughter a Yorkie bar once ! For shame!

fruitstick · 06/01/2009 08:52

I dislike the slogan T shirts too, although I tend not to buy them rather than complain to the shop assistant. I usually try not to take myself too seriously but I do think it's wrong to constantly label boys as naughty or trouble - not because they will all turn into hoodies but because you are negatively stereotyping normal boy's behaviour. How can you tell them not to be cheeky when you've bought them the bloody t shirt!

On a similar theme, I had to bite my tongue when my sister bought DS a T shirt that said - 'when I grow up I want to drive a digger'. Chartered Surveyor at least!

Original poster
Bramshott · 06/01/2009 09:39

Oh Lord, look what I've started!

FWIW I was absolutely NOT trying to start a WOHM / SAHM debate, and I completely take the point that misogynist was the wrong word to choose.

I guess what I was interested in was the way stereotypes can be re-inforced so casually, without thinking. My problems with it really stem from:

  1. The utter innanity of the "tidy and clean" line - I'm guessing that if Mrs Barley is a SAHM with 2 kids, she is probably more acurately described as "looking after the children, volunteering at school and growing vegetables in the garden" (or something). It is very unlikely that she devotes her day to keeping the house tidy and clean, and frankly insulting to suggest that that's the pinnacle of her existence.
  2. Surely toys are meant on some level to be aspirational? Which suggests to me that ELC feel that young girls should be aspiring to "keeping the house tidy and clean" as their life goal, which worries me A LOT. Just because things often happen in life in a practical way, doesn't mean they need to be re-inforced in messages to the most impressionable members of our society - many women choose to be cleaners because of the family friendly hours, but if a similar set read "Mr Incredible is a brain surgeon and Mrs Incredible is a cleaner" I'd have similar problems.

Interesting those of you who think this sort of crap stereotyping has got worse in the last 10 years in the same way as the pink/blue thing has.

And yes, I know it's only a toy, and I should probably have better things to worry about . I have indeed disposed of all the offensive packaging, but it still irks me that ELC actually went to the bother of putting it on there in the first place...
2.

OP posts:
mrsruffallo · 06/01/2009 09:55

What's wrong with women staying at home?
She could still be a feminist or going on CND marches!
I think you are the ones stereotyping sahm's.