To complain to ELC about the misogynist attitudes in Happyland?!?

[Bramshott]

DD2 was given a Happyland Rose Cottage for Christmas, which is great and she enjoys playing with. So far, so good. But I was at the packing which trumpets:
"Mr Barley teaches geography in Happyland"
and then
"Mrs Barley keeps the cottage tidy and clean"

Am I turning into a grumpy sod in my old age, or is this a really bad message to be sending out to young girls? Obviously DD2 can't read it, but DD1 (6) can.

I'm going to email them I think (quick, before you all tell me I am being unreasonable and need to get a life !)

they only make up a major part of the child's view of the world if the parent reinforces those views IMO.

my DB and I had very "gender specific" toys when we were little, dad went out to work, mum stayed at home.........he's now working in childcare.......

I'm just shocked that Mr and Mrs Barley can afford the mortgage on the cottage on just a teacher's salary. Either teachers get paid more in Happyland or cottages are cheaper than they are down my way where you need to both be earning a fair whack for a slummy 2 bed back to back .

To be serious though, I am fairly shocked at the gender stereotyping here, I thought that elc was a bit more politically correct than that? Or have they changed since I was last in there (mid 90s!)? Anyway, yanbu and you were right to complain.

Rose Cottage is the name given to the mortuary in many hospitals.

I'm a SAHM. It's the new black. You are sooooo not on trend here.

ELC have changed loads since being bought by Mothercare

I really wouldnt have made the effort to complain tbh. Do you really think it will make a difference? My son used to elbow the girls outta the way to play with the pushchairs and ironing board when we went to toddlers.

In fact the toys we bought him for xmas have been played much more by my girls. Kids will make up their own mind about imaginative play without parents getting up in arms about it.

My son only really found out that he was a boy when he went to nursery. A few weeks before that, he was happy for his nails to be painted and his hair to be in bunches

LittleBella - that's really interesting. My grandad used to always claim that he wore pink as a young boy.

YANBU

ELC has changed a lot I think, it seems to be a lot less 'educational' now and more into girl=pink & fluffy, boy=train fanatic, which drives me mad.

'Girl's toys' just seem so dull/patronising/non inspiring.
DS had lots of toys for Christmas - police boat, pirate ship, remote controlled things. DD's presents were mainly things that can be carried round eg a cuddly dog in a bag. She spent a good hour playing with a multipack of pants! Its quite depressing really, although luckily DS is usually ok at sharing his toys with her.

I found myself feeling surpisingly annoyed at the Mummy and Me Kettle in Marks and Spencer.

I agree with wannabe

Yanbu. Good on you for complaining. I would have thought about it and then not got round to it .

I find this kind of gender stereotyping really rather offensive (and I am not easily offended) so I can quite see why you have written to complain and I admire you for it.

or Mabye it should be:

Rose cottage, with no play people, because everybodys out at work/after school clubs.

Or latch key kids only included, partner parents have to be bought seperatly because of not wishing to cause offence at possible gender errors.

I am loving this thread.

Bramshott - well done for complaining. I wish everyone who gets annoyed with this kind of thing would tell the retailers.

toys are getting more and more reactionary wrt gender and the manufacturers do it because the retailers demand it; the retailers demand it because they say the consumers want it. so the consumers have to tell the retailers otherwise.

IdrisTheDragon why were you annoyed about the kettle?

I don't think yabu. I asked DH and he said he thought that if Mrs was looking after children that would be different, but if she was just cleaning then Mr would have to earn lots of money to maintain the alcohol/crack habit she would inevitably develop due to shear bordom!
Such a shame ELC has gone this way.

"toys are getting more and more reactionary wrt gender and the manufacturers do it because the retailers demand it; the retailers demand it because they say the consumers want it. so the consumers have to tell the retailers otherwise."

But surely the retailers wouldn't want to sell this stuff in their shops if customers weren't buying it?

If all the family sets have a similar gender base then yes, it may be something worth complaining about. Although TBH I wouldn't be othering - I know my DD gets a balanced view through other areas of her life and RL role models inher family and friends.

However, this might be just one family in the whole set. What about the other family sets - who does what in them?

For example I know in the construction set from Happyland there is a woman construction worker. The post office worker is a woman too. I am sure there are other examples.

Also - it is the way YOUR children play with them that counts, not what a piece of text on a box says happens. Just because the box says Mrs B stays home, doesn't mean she has to.

Equally, some woman are allowed to stay home, some are allowed to look after children, etc. It is what some woman actually chose to do. Toys wouldn't reflect RL if some scenarios didn't include it..

well quite clearly the consumers want it if they're buying it.

If people weren't buying the toys then the retailers wouldn't be selling them.

Most girls i know are into disney princess. I don't think there are parents out there making them play with these things - similarly the boys I know who are into cars/trains aren't forced into it.

Some people would like to believe that their sons would love to play house, but the reality is that most don't once they pass about 3 yo.

The Happyland doctor is also a woman. We call farm couple both farmers, although my sister insists on calling her the farmers wife, as she is wearing a headscarf and carrying an egg basket. Actually we call them David and Ruth and I always make them speak in Clary Grundy's accent so maybe my stereotypes are no better .

We have had much family debate as I bought DS a kitchen for Christmas. One of the lovely silver retro GLTC ones. My entire family (including DH) thought I was making some grand political statement and I should have got him the work bench instead. Actually it just never occurred to me that it was a gender specific toy or that DS would perceive it as such. DH does just as much cooking as I do and DS has never seen him lift a power tool in his life.

I think it is a bit dramatic to email over something like this tbh.

Why do they need to put gender stereotyping on the box in the first place? Why not leave it up to the DC to decide whether the figures that come with the house are teachers, train drivers, princesses, axe murderers or rent boys?
IT would annoy me as well because it's an example (like paddling pools, colouring books, sand tables etc coming in Pink or blue and no gender-neutral colours) of this obsessive gender-stereotyping which basically functions to preserve male privilege.

yes there's a woman in the post office iirc (my happy land days are far behind me) but there was definitely a woman.

And a woman working in the bakery too iirc.

I don't think there are any house husbands in happyland but reality is that house husbands are in the minority anyway.

I am a sahm - is that wrong then? Should I not be allowed to admit to that because of what it implies?

Is it wrong for children to grow up knowing that some mummies choose to stay at home to bring them up rather than going out to work and putting them in childcare? I think not.

I remember when DD was little. I bought all sorts of toys and tried really hard to get a god "gender" mix with a whole range of colours. I have no idea why I bothered! The cars and road mats, the bricks, etc. - hardly touched. The baby dolls and accessories - played with constantly. Same as at nursery - DD was in a room of 6 children, and she was one of two girls in there. Whole manner of toys and activities in there - what did she gravitate towards? The pink, the spakles, the glitter, the babies, etc. She just wasn't interetsed in cars and castles and building and tool sets.

Now she is a bit older I have figured that she has her own personality, always has. I can;t force her to play with non gender specific stuff. If she wants to have a pink room, and play barbie, etc. who am I to stop her? It really will not harm her at all - have seen no real evidence to suggest otherwise and certainly all RL experiences of this I have come across do not support it being a problem. So, DD chooses and plays with what she likes, etc. If she wants to role play she is a mummy at home looking after babies, then good for her.

there was a study some years back where groups of children were brought up with no gender specific toys. I can't remember exactly how it was conducted, but the outcome was that the boys invented cars/trains etc to play with and the girls invented girly type games to play. Despite the fact that they weren't given any instruction or encouragement.

yanbu Kids do learn what to expect from the world from their toys.

You can buy a bunch of happyland cultural stereotypes as well if you want (Scot in a kilt, Japanese woman with teapot, frenchman with onions... No black people at all.). My kids love happyland stuff but it only works if you have enough people to ignore the crap role models (currently there is a fireman and a traindriver asleep in rose cottage at our place, farmer is in the bath).

BTW wannaBe - it usually is the parents influencing the kids if research is to believed.