Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

to want a puppy...

29 replies

girlylala0807 · 29/12/2008 22:28

Im due my first bub in April,

We live in a 1 bed flat,but have shared outside space, ive wanted a puppy/dog since I was little.

Im aware they are alot of work, but i would have time to look after it properly. Dh wants to wait and let the baby settle in. He also thinks its unfair to have both at once as they both need undivided attention.

The reason im asking is they are giving them away for free, saw an add on a website, dh would not be amused if i did it without telling him..

Am I naive.. mad.. Unreasonable?

OP posts:

Mutt · 29/12/2008 22:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jalopy · 29/12/2008 22:31

Don't do it. Your feelings will change once the baby is here. It's unfair to the dog.

Wait for a few years.

Mutt · 29/12/2008 22:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

girlylala0807 · 29/12/2008 22:36

Im not getting one just cause they are free!!!

I do want one anyway!!

Dont have any kids so i still have my idealistic vision of having a baby in my head thats all.

Thus checking before i emailed them!!

OP posts:

angel1976 · 29/12/2008 22:37

Don't do it! I had the same exact thought as you. Naively, I thought 'oh well, if one baby was hard work, what's another puppy/dog?' And I wasn't new to having dogs, have had dogs since little when living with my parents. So I knew the work involved in having a dog. We also live in a two-bedroom house with a small garden so thought I could let dog out into garden for a wander if I had no time to take it out.

I am soooooo glad I never acted on the idea now. My DS is 10 months old and he was an awful baby for the first 4-5 months of his life and I was barely surviving. He's brilliant now but do not underestimate the amount of work (and upheavels) a new baby will cause! My DS loves dogs now, he loves the two my inalws have but I am so glad now that we never got our own. I talked to another parent and he was saying how bad he felt that their dog has been neglected since their baby came along... I would say wait till your baby is here and decide how you feel then.

PlonkerAlkaseltzerInMyGlass · 29/12/2008 22:41

Don't do it - puppies are verrrry hard work and you won't have the time on your hands that you do now.

I think your dh is absolutely right, it would be very unfair on the puppy (not the baby because lets face it, you're not going to put the dog ahead of the baby are you?!) and I do think your being naive - leave it a little while, there's no harm in getting a puppy as your dc get a little older ...

SatHereSitting · 29/12/2008 22:43

Girly I'm also due in april and I bought a puppy just before i found out I was pregnant in July. I have to say you are mad to be considering this now. My puppy is 6 months old now, house trained, settled in etc but if I could go back in time and know that I would be having a baby when she is still young, I really wouldn't have got her, and I love her very much.

Like Mutt says they are like having a new baby, she yelped at night and wouldn't sleep on her own for a while, she has taken ages to be fully house trained and still needs to go out frequently to relieve herself (That would mean taking puppy and baby down to the garden all the time, even in the rain!!).

Then there is the amount of attention she wants and she can be very excitable and a pain in the arse alot of the time.

It really isn't something you should jump into lightly, i did and I regret it now. I would seriously wait untill the baby is abit older or you may well end up giving the puppy away because you can't cope. HTH

Original poster

girlylala0807 · 29/12/2008 22:44

I think i can see where this is headed,

your right, the baby would come first without any doubt, and I think these puppies have been rescued so may need more attention.

My friend has just told be to enjoy my idealistic picture of motherhood, wait for reality to hit me, and stay well clear of puppies!!

Sigh... Its horrible when everyone else is right!

OP posts:

Original poster

girlylala0807 · 29/12/2008 22:45

Satheresitting,

That also helps,

Thanks,

OP posts:

piscesmoon · 29/12/2008 22:46

Your DH is right-wait and see how things go with the baby first.

PlonkerAlkaseltzerInMyGlass · 29/12/2008 22:47

Don't do it - puppies are verrrry hard work and you won't have the time on your hands that you do now.

Mutt · 29/12/2008 22:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PlonkerAlkaseltzerInMyGlass · 29/12/2008 22:48

not sure how I managed that! ...

PlonkerAlkaseltzerInMyGlass · 29/12/2008 22:48

not sure how I managed that! ...

Original poster

girlylala0807 · 29/12/2008 22:49

I think sometimes you need to hear things from other people!!

Like it or not.

OP posts:

PlonkerAlkaseltzerInMyGlass · 29/12/2008 22:49

Bloody laptop

littleboyblue · 29/12/2008 22:52

I'd advise not just yet tbh. You'll have work cut out for you with a new baby and won't want to be walking a dog 2-3 times a day.
Puppy's and dogs are very hard to house train and do you want dog pee and poo on your floor with a new baby?
They do say that babies with family pets have better immune systems as get used to germs and dirt quicker.
I would also recommend that you get dog after baby so dog doesn't know any different. I had my dog for 3 years before ds was born, she handled it fine but once he was on the move the dog had to go because he ket hitting her.

SatHereSitting · 29/12/2008 22:56

I'm glad it has helped you Girly, I also have an idealistic vision of motherhood, unfortunately I also had a idealistic vision of dog ownership lol and the reality is far removed from the vision I can tell you, and my dog is very clever, loving and a quick learner but by heck she does take up alot of my time and patience. (Pic of her on my profile i think )

You are making the right decison in waiting plus think how much fun your dc will have as a toddler with a new puppy to play with and growing up together then.

Mutt · 29/12/2008 22:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

girlylala0807 · 29/12/2008 23:01

Yes,

I think i need to get rid of this idealistic idea of motherhood asap, it cant be healthy lol!

TBH, Im so busy with work and uni, if I think about it, I may not have had as much time as I thought.. finish uni 13 days before due date.

Its great to get good advice so quickly though.

OP posts:

elastamum · 29/12/2008 23:02

If you really want a puppy wait until your baby is older. It is much easier to establish the pack heirachy with older children. If you get the dog first they can think they are higher up the pecking order than the baby and cause problems. I have 2 very large labradoodles and 2 kids 7 and 9. We got the first dog when my youngest was 5 and the kids now love them to bits and are able to boss the dogs around if need be. Also with a puppy and baby you will be tearing your hair out. Are you going to be happy leaving the baby when you take the dog out for a wee last thing at night

mumeeee · 30/12/2008 16:23

YABU. A new baby and a puppy would be hard work. Also a one bedroom flat is not big enough to bring a dog up in.

Rindercella · 30/12/2008 17:11

A friend has done just this recently - bought a puppy shortly after having a baby and has found it bloody hard work - much, much harder than she was expecting (her reasoning was get all of the crappy stuff out of the way as quickly as possible & then child & dog can grow up together). And it sounds like she has much more space than you do. I would wait until your child is much older and when you have much more space.

MadameCastafiore · 30/12/2008 17:15

Do not do it - I don't work, have a big house with a huge garden, live in the middle of the countryside, have a daughter of 8 and a son of 4 well past the baby stage and it is still more hard work than I could ever imagine.

You need eyes in the back of your head to watch them to make sure they are not peeing or shitting everywhere or chewing up your furniture and you will have the added disadvantage of having a baby around who keeps you awake without a bloody dog crying all night as well - and my kids can shout if the dog tries to nip them and they can whack her face so she doesn't do it - your baby will not be able to do this.

I would wait until your baby is at least 4 years old before you get a dog and I woudl actually wait until you live somewhere with a lot more room and outside space which your neighbours won;t mind it shitting in!

Rindercella · 30/12/2008 17:20

Oh, and my fried says that the puppy is sooo much more work than the baby.

Flip

1 2