to be really upset with my best friend?

[CrackopentheBaileys]

Bloody Tax Credits, they cause nothing but grief!

I have a real dilema here and would very much appreciate some sound advice.

I am a childminder, and very soon I will be looking after my very best friend's son.

All is grand, really looking forward to having him, and as she is a good friend I reduced my fee's for her, so I am actually losing out on £80 per month.

She said she was very grateful, but she has now told me that she has told tax credits that she is paying me more than she actually is. So much so that she is getting more than she is paying me, by around £100 a month, and she will save it up to go towards a holiday next year.

OH MY GOD

What the hell do I do here?

A) I simply cannot believe that she is lying to tax credits. I know that we all have different moral compasses but blimey, pushing the limits a bit there!

B) How can she possibly think that this is ok, when I have forfeited £80 to help her out?!

I am shocked and I don't know what to do. She really is my best friend, and in all other aspects she is awesome.
I don't think she has connected the two to be honest, and I am feeling very hurt that she hasn't considered this at all.

Phew, sorry for the long post......

BUT WHAT WOULD YOU DO???

gotta bath the baby back later

ok i can see why you are sticking up for a very good friend here and yes she may be a very good friend in all other aspects and not have connected the two but i do think you need to say something to her about the fact that you are £80 a month down whilst she is actually beneffiting by fraudulently claiming tc. Maybe you should either suggest that she lets tax credits know that she made a 'mistake' in her calculations or she pay you full amount and carry on bennefitting by £20 a month yet if she wants to risk getting caugh that it is down to her? if you dont say anything little things in your friendship will really start to get to you untill you actually start to dislike her.

update.....

I am a complete coward I know.... you can all flame me now.....

I have sent her a message on, wait for it, (((winces))) Facebook

Stop rolling your eyes

It's the communication method of my generation and I can say all that I needed to say without flustering and going red and changing my mind!

I'll let you know when and indeed if I get a response!

Thank you all for your messages it definately helped me to think it all through x

Just a thought, but when you declare your income to the taxman, HMRC will figure out something is wrong and someone will be done for fraud. It may not be instant, and it may not happen at all, but it is something to watch out for.

Thanks Shelly

Gosh, that was proactive of you!

What did you say?

lol shiny. I don't think she's seen it yet. Either that or she's plotting my death......

I decided that it was best to get it off my chest, if she is as good a friend as I think she is I will get a good response. If not, I'd better get some 'vacancy' signs up!

You did the right thing, crack. You've got balls . Fraud is fraud however you dress it up. Don't get involved.

Good for you. I hope she checks her facebook soon , so we can find out how she takes it.

sorry I didn't really answer your question Shiny.
I didn't mention the fraud, as I said, I will not be involved in that, and I defo wont lie for her at any point. But I just said that I feel really upset that she is getting extra money from tc and hasn't thought to pay me my full rate. That I gave her the discount so that she didn't have to struggle and that I feel she can afford the full rate as she is getting that extra money.
A bit at the end about how I love her and that I hope she respects my honesty

Let's see how that goes down eh......

(still feel pretty shitty about the tc but I'm not going to dob her in so I have to let that stay her business)

God I hope she's not on here!!

after a tense wait she has texted me (we usually text rather than talk.... cheaper!)

Says she just got confused, she thought it was reduced because she collects two kids for me from her sons school
(actually I am not charging her for the last 20 mins to account for that)
Says she never meant to take the piss and of course she will pay the full amount. Phew, I feel better now.

Of course, she's still cheating tc but we can't all be perfect

Phew! At least it's sorted. Had a similarish situation with a good friend who was subletting to me a few years back, not a cheating thing but a making lots of money out of me thing. I dunno, I felt terrible (no way I would have done the same in her position) so I tackled her about it too. Best way. And it was sorted with no hard feelings (some a little changed maybe tho..)

I find it hard to believe they wouldnt check up to be honest.Id be annoyed too ,just make sure she knows you wont lie for her if it comes down to it,can see it all going horribly wrong

hi im glad its all sorted out for you now, toshe sounds like she took it well and is a the good friend you thought she was yet cant help thinking that she still a bit cheeky with the collecting your sons from school thing anyway i bet you're glad its all done now!

I would have a word with her. Tell her that TC often contact CM's or nurseries to confirl tne amount parents are paying.

confirm not confirl! oh and I would also tell her if that happens you are not willing to lie.