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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel bad for getting dd a BLUE bike?

85 replies

AliceTheCamelHasGotTheHump · 27/12/2008 17:33

Dd is 2.8. She doesn't really understand about Christmas and Father Christmas, but is starting to get the idea, even if she's a bit confused about some aspects.

Well, Dp and I thought that a bicycle would be a great Christmas present for her. We sounded her out, and she was keen on the idea. We went to Toys R Us and chose a cute little turquoise and green bike with dinosaurs on it. On Christmas morning, she got up to find a BRAND NEW SHINY BICYCLE under the Christmas tree!!!

She was delighted.

Except... quite a few times since, she has come for a quiet cuddle and with a wobbly little lip asked me why Father Christmas brought her a blue bicycle? Why didn't he know that she would like a pink bicycle?

I've tried selling the blue / green one ("because your eyes are beautiful and green and they match!" / "because FC wanted it to match Ariel's beautiful tail!" / "Because you've got so much pink stuff that a BLUE bicycle would be SPECIAL!") but no dice.

I feel really bad, because I bought her a blue bicycle because I don't like the bubblegum pink saturation of small girls. If I had spent a millionth of a second's thought on what dd would like I would have bought her the sparkliest, pinkest, ribbonyest, garishest, bubblegumiest bicycle in the city.

But I didn't think of dd. I got all high-horsey and thought Small Girls Shouldn't Be Gender Steriotyped. And Grrrr To The Disneyfication Of My Daughter. And If I Buy Her A Blue Bike She Will Be A Lawyer For Human Rights, But If I Buy Her A Pink Bike She Will Be A Nail Technician.

I am crap. Crap crap crap. I feel crap.

She's not being a brat. She's very pleased to have a bicycle. She's just so sad that Father Christmas didnt care enough to get her a pink one. When she thinks about it she gets tearful.

Before anyone gets all cross with her for not being grateful, I'll repeat that she's only 2.8. She doesn't really understand much of what's going on.

Dp and I are considering swapping it for a pink one and saying that FC made a mistake and came back to fix it. We can afford to swap it, and put the blue dinosaur bike away until ds needs it in a couple of years from now.

I can't quite get past the idea that we're being heinously soft and over indulgent and are raising a horrible spoiled brat by swapping it. I thought I'd see what MNers think.

(I know I'm in AIBU, so please tell me straight, but don't be too mean!)

OP posts:
slavetomykids · 27/12/2008 18:38

I love the line PINK MY RIDE from Bumperlicious

rolledhedgehog · 27/12/2008 18:54

I would not swap it....knowing girls this age she will probably decide the blue one is better after all and you will be stuck with explaining to your DS in 2 years time why Santa thought he would like a pink one.

NorthernLurkerwithastarontop · 27/12/2008 18:59

Go with the pink stuff - she can pick it all and yu can get some very girly cycle helmets too

MoreThanChocolate · 27/12/2008 19:07

This brought back to me the green bike my parents gave me when I was about 11 - I wanted the lilac one. I wouldn't say it damaged me for life ... but I haven't quite forgotten.

She is too young to remember for long but you'll remember so swap it if you can i think

Kbear · 27/12/2008 19:09

Surely blue bikes with dinosaurs on are for boys - you set yourself up for this really didn't you! You can't fight the pinkness if girls like pinkness!

Swap it and say the elves changed it for her. She won't turn into a spoilt brat if you do, she is only 2.8 and you can tell her it was magic.

Thunderduck · 27/12/2008 19:10

Blue bikes with dinosaurs can be for boys or girls. I truly detest this idea of boys toys and girl toys.

Kbear · 27/12/2008 19:11

But you know your own child and if you know she's a pink girl you would buy a pink bike, if she's a tomboy you'd buy her a dinosaur bike.

Kbear · 27/12/2008 19:12

You can't force a child to like something they don't though and if she'd LOVE a pink bike, swap it.

Thunderduck · 27/12/2008 19:13

I wouldn't swap it. It's a perfectly good bike. She can have pink accessories if she wishes and once she's been out on it a few times, she'll love it.

Original poster
AliceTheCamelHasGotTheHump · 27/12/2008 19:13

Thunderduck and Kbear, you are both absolutely right. I just got so carried away with my irritation that there are boys toys and girls toys that I bought my self proclaimed sparkly pink princess a blue dinosaur bike.

OP posts:
Kbear · 27/12/2008 19:17

I once said that my DD will never own a Barbie - she ended up with about 20! Real ones and cheapo ones, she loved them, still does! Can't fight it. DS loved pushing the dolls buggy everywhere, I encouraged it, I'm not anti-gender toys but they like what they like.

Original poster
AliceTheCamelHasGotTheHump · 27/12/2008 19:23

Swedes, I agree that gratefulness is learned and something I have to teach her. She is grateful for everything else she got though, honestly, she's thrilled (even with the mermaid doll that should have been a yellow princess doll ), and she is grateful for the bike too, just a bit confused as to why FC got it wrong. I think the fact that she isn't stroppy or cross about the blue bike (given that she's only 2) is testament to her not being too much of a brat. (And if she were stroppy or cross I probably wouldn't even be considering changing the bike.)

Well, if I had got an avalanche of "OMG YABU"s then I would have had to think hard, but the fact that there are a fair few people saying they would swap it has made me think that's what we'll probably do.

I'll think about the pink accessories idea too though.

It's only been 2 days since Christmas. Perhaps I'll see if she mentions it again tomorrow and then decide.

OP posts:
Kbear · 27/12/2008 19:26

We are parents, we get it wrong sometimes, it's not a big deal, swap it and everyone's happy! and LOL at her becoming a human rights lawyer!

Original poster
AliceTheCamelHasGotTheHump · 27/12/2008 19:28

"...and I owe it all to the blue dinosaur bike my delusional parents bought me when I was two years old..."

OP posts:
Kbear · 27/12/2008 19:29

I never got Girls World and I'm scarred for life, let me tell you.

Alambil · 27/12/2008 19:36

I would swap it too

noonki · 27/12/2008 19:38

In your position I would be totally mindwashing (aren't we all any way) and say a few times to her in relation to something else about how much she likes blue

and with the power of your mind she will believe it to be true...

dittany · 27/12/2008 19:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hazeyjane · 27/12/2008 19:50

Dd1 is 2.9 and just teetering on the edge of the valley of pink tat. She has a mish mash of pink clothes, boys shoes ('funky boots' apparantly), cars, fairy and pirate stuff, but is definately starting to like Princess this and fairy that.

When it came to buying her a bike for Christmas, we really didn't want to get her a pink one, but fortunately () the one she set her heart on was the Dora the Explorer bike, not pink, but orange and purple and red with tassels and backpack, and more expensive .....

We bought everything else on ebay, got her the bike and she was so delighted that I now realise it wouldn't have mattered if she had wanted a bright pink Barbie bike really.

We did get her a blue helmet though (her choice)

I say swap it, because it will make everyone feel happy. And because she sounds like a lovely little girl, I don't think it will make her manipulative and ungrateful.

StickLadyLove · 27/12/2008 19:54

I would swap it too. She is only two; hardly a stroppy teenager! Go with your heart and make her really happy! Also - you can stash away a fab present (the blue bike) for your DS so you won't be wasting money. Your DD will not learn that she can get what she wants with a 'quivering lip' as someone said - she will just be blissfully happy.

Swedes · 27/12/2008 19:56

I think you should be rational. Ask yourself:

  1. Is it sensible to revise what Father Christmas has already given, assuming she believes that Father Christmas comes down the chimney and is long gone in the morning?

  2. Will it really make any difference to her enjoyment of the bike?

  3. Why does she want a pink one?

I would tell her that Father Christmas clearly wants her to have the blue bike.

Swedes · 27/12/2008 19:57

Maybe blue bikes go much faster than pink bikes.

smallorange · 27/12/2008 20:02

Right my DD1 has a black and orange balance bike and at first she was delighted and then a little upset that it wasn't pink like her friend's.
So we went and bought some girly sparkly stickers and a pink horn (from Tesco) and customised it. You could tie ribbons on it, make a fluffy seat cover, whatever. She'll love it, especially if she chooses the stuff.

nooka · 27/12/2008 20:03

Can you not just take it back to Toys R Us and swop it for a different one? I wouldn't buy another one. Little bikes are so expensive. We don't do FC, which makes these things much easier because then you can say "I chose this one for you because I love you so" or even "I chose you this one because just because you are a little girl you don't have to have everything pink". I had all the thoughts you did about my daughter, who thankfully is growing out of the everything pink phase. You are not crap. The world's obsession with pink girly girls is crap. Otherwise go for accessories. Although they will be even more gruesomely pink!

Sherida · 27/12/2008 20:03

And just as a totally off the topic post - HEY! I'm a nail technician and I can't stand pink (ewww .

But, YABU. We all have our favorite colours. I would have been annoyed with a pink bike, and loved my blue one but my parents let me choose. Tell her Father Christmas only had blue ones in stock, but he's given the shop some pink ones and she can swap it if she likes.