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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get irritated by peoples lack of manners?

30 replies

MrsMagooo · 24/12/2008 12:18

I am so fed up with adults & children alike not saying please & thank you!

I was raised to be polite & am raising my DC the same way, DD is only 2.6 but she always says please & thank you.

I've lost count of the presents/cards I've handed over, doors I've held open, things I've picked up for people who've dropped them etc without so much as a 'Ta'

When I was out at the shops the other day I had DS in the pram, as I was more in the way then others I kept making sure I stood out the way to let other shoppers past etc not one of them said thank you.

AIBU & old fashioned?

OP posts:
themoon66 · 24/12/2008 12:19

Shocking really isn't it? People always comment about how polite my DC are, but they should be seen as 'normal' not the rude buggers!

YANBU

TheButterflyEffect · 24/12/2008 12:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

bubbles4 · 24/12/2008 12:21

yanbu,i get fed up with this,a woman pushed between me and dd in the supermarket muttering excuse me,i said please and she looked me up and down and said lighten up and get some christmas spirit,i could have smacked her one for the sheer cheek.

needmorecoffee · 24/12/2008 12:23

same here. People just don't say please and thankyou. And they shove past you or cut you up while driving.

Original poster
MrsMagooo · 24/12/2008 12:26

Don't get me started on the shoving issue! A woman shoved my pram so hard that it tipped up onto one back wheel & scared the life out of DS who scratched his face in fright (he was fast asleep & sleeps with his hand on his face)

OP posts:
PingpingsatonSantasface · 24/12/2008 12:26

I hate it too I am 24 years old so your not being old. It bugs the hell out of me I always tell people it don't cost nothing to have a few manners so maybe take your ones back and get a refund.

I used to work in a very busy pub our manager told us not to serve people that didn't say please it was awesome fun.

One guy asked me for a bottle of bud I asked if there was anything else he said no so I served the person next to him.

He got up to 5 bottles of bud before he realised that he needed to say please arse.

littleboyblue · 24/12/2008 12:31

It is shocking isn't it? How hard is it to say please or thank you?
I'm 33wks pg and have trouble getting around so am forever saying sorry, sorry, sorry around the supermarket and getting tutted at, it's an absolute disgrace frankly. The other day, I was in town was about to go into shopping centre when I saw a very old lady making her way out, so I stood aside to give the room and time she needed and the amount of people that just carried on rushing towards her! I wanted to yell "That'll be you one day" some people just have no thought for anyone else, it really angers me

HSMM · 24/12/2008 12:43

I think it's really sad that people don't use good manners any more. At least 'our' children will know better.

TinyTimLivesinVictorianSqualor · 24/12/2008 12:49

YANBU.
However, I don't like thankyou for thankyou's sake.
It should be something meant, not just said, so IMO, it's not manners people lack but consideration and gratefulness(?)

needmorecoffee · 24/12/2008 12:50

I've just popped to the Co-op and some lady shoved in front of me at the checkout. I resisted ramming her with my wheelchair so said 'scuse me, you pushed inf ront' and she stood there not looking at me! Even when I repeated myself

Original poster
MrsMagooo · 24/12/2008 12:50

...

OP posts:
AmIWhatAndWhy · 24/12/2008 12:55

YANBU with regards to adults, I hate that sort of thing too.

But YABU if you expect all small children will be capable of it. My DS cannot grasp the concept so never does, but the smile on his face says it well enough. My DD says please, but laughs and says please again if we tell her to say thankyou.

mummyflood · 24/12/2008 12:55

yanbu, you are not old fashioned either! Just, like me, frustrated that many people dont see the need for manners these days - it seems to be a 'rights' society - many think they have the right to do exactly as they please with no thought, appreciation or consideration for others. I always hold doors open for people behind me, or give way to people in busy shops by instinct/the way I was brought up, etc and have taught my DS's to do the same since they were old enough to understand. If I don't get a thank you, I say it for them in a loud voice, especially if DS's are with me. The person in question is usually oblivious, but I often get filthy looks from others around, probably thinking that IABU!!

TinyTimLivesinVictorianSqualor · 24/12/2008 12:56

I agree AmIWhatAndWhy, small children normally are grateful and you can see it in their face.

AmIWhatAndWhy · 24/12/2008 12:57

needmorecoffee, oh gosh that is really awful!

Hijack, but I saw your post about strange christmas presents, we have a few story books with CDs and a nursery rhymes cd if you think your DD would like them? My DC have never been interested in them.

Original poster
MrsMagooo · 24/12/2008 12:59

No, but I would expect the parents to say please/thank you for them, I did before DD could say it herself.

OP posts:
TinyTimLivesinVictorianSqualor · 24/12/2008 13:00

I agree MrsMagoo, but that's the way they learn isn't it?
By their parents saying 'oh, how lovely, thankyou. Look DD/DS isn't what X got you nice' type thing.

Original poster
MrsMagooo · 24/12/2008 13:02

Yes - that's what I'm saying. I wouldn't expect a very small child to say it but I do expect the parents too say it instead & they don't (well some of them anyway

OP posts:
christMAScomesbutonceayear · 24/12/2008 13:27

YANBU - manners are so important in my book

sunnygirl1412 · 24/12/2008 14:09

Sometimes, when I stand back to let someone else through, and they don't say thank-you, I will call after them, "You're welcome." No-one has ever come back at me about this, but if anyone ever did get stroppy, the answer is very simple - "Oh, I'm sorry, I could have sworn I heard you politely thanking me for letting you through. My apologies for wrongly attributing good manners to you!!!"

Original poster
MrsMagooo · 24/12/2008 14:54

LOL this is what I do too!!

It really embarrasses DH as at the top of my voice I'll say 'You're very welcome' & look directly them

OP posts:
Anna8888 · 24/12/2008 14:58

It's a hard one. Manners are actually much more cultural and less universal than we imagine. What is one person's/cultures good manners is another person's bad manners.

Of course, there are also plenty of shockingly unpleasant and deeply egocentric people on this planet .

phraedd · 24/12/2008 15:20

manners are basics though aren't they?

I can remember my DS1 holding open a door to let a lady through. She said "thank you" to which my DS replied "you're welcome" with a big smile on his face.

The lady told him he was a lovely young man he was 6 years old at the time. bless him

JingleBuzz · 24/12/2008 15:30

Its one of my biggest pet hates, I too shout your welcome to people who don't say thankyou.

People comment on how polite my DS is 2.6 as he always says thankyou but they shouldn't have to as it souldn't be out of the ordinary that he is polite but sadly it is!

JingleBuzz · 24/12/2008 15:45

Oops of course that should be Thank You and You're Welcome that will teach me to type with one hand.