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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect friends of DP (who are a married couple) not to send us an xmas card witha shot of her bare breasts on?

47 replies

imsantasmum · 20/12/2008 22:48

He is a photographer, she works in the soft porn industry. Without going into too much detail, she works from home and it involves little clothing, other very friendly women and websites/premium rate phone calls..get the picture. Apparently, she's quite good at it and her DH does the pictures/updates website etc.

That's all fine, I'm not a prude, it's her business but I have no wish to know any details. yet they insist sending us an xmas card every year that is clearly meant for their punters. On the front is her in sexy xmas gear and on the back is a topless shot (think readers wives - this girl's had 2 kids and is the wrong side of 30).
I get really hacked off as I don't want to see her norks! Plus this year we have our precious first DD and I'm going to have to say something as it really creeps me out. the card is signed from him, her and their 2 teenage boys and is to me, DP and DD! I find it slightly offensive. It's not as if we can display the card FFS.

DP just laughs and doesn't understand why i get upset. He then gets a bit huffy that I am critical of his friends.

Btw, these 'friends' decided to cheer him up years ago (way before me), when his girlfriend dumped him, by her having lots of x-rated fun in front of him with a battery powered toy (IYKWIM), while her DH watched (DP didn't join in, he just watched also and says he found it might strange)!! Before my time, so can't complain, but I jut find them both a bit weird.
AIBU to want to ask them to stop sending the card?

OP posts:
lisad123 · 20/12/2008 22:51

No YNBU, i wouldnt like it much either sounds odd to me

jingleMAMADIVAsbells · 20/12/2008 22:52

First of all no YANBU tell them you have no desire to see her blardy norks and that you do not feel it appropriate for your DD to see these pics and you would appreciate it if they would send you a nicer card, if her DP is a photographer then surely they could find summit better to photograph.

And second of all ROFFLE this is wind up ain't it?

angel1976 · 20/12/2008 22:52

I think because they are your DP's friends, and he already "gets a bit huffy that I am critical of his friends", telling them not to send you a Christmas card might just stir up the hornet's nest! Since they are your DP's friends, the request will have to come from him.

Is it worth it though? Sounds to me your DP doesn't think it's a problem and won't be doing anything in a hurry. Can't you just put it through the shredder the moment it comes through? That's what I would do! No need for it to get into your DD's hands!

andlipsticktoo · 20/12/2008 22:57

YANBU.
Whatever they do is their right, they are consenting adults, but to ram it down your throat (excuse the pun) is just not on!

Imagine how embarrassed the sons are...

psychohohohoho · 20/12/2008 22:58

please tell me this is not serious......

please please please.....I have bad images in my head.

Rookietherednosedreindeer · 20/12/2008 23:00

Ewwwwww, thats all I can say really

MillyR · 20/12/2008 23:00

I feel very, very sorry for her sons.

TheInvisibleManDidItWithSanta · 20/12/2008 23:02

Oh, send her one of your norks back!

Original poster
imsantasmum · 20/12/2008 23:02

Thanks for replies but I promise you I am deadly serious. She is semi-famous in the porn world and I would give her name if it wouldn't identify me (in case she uses mumsnet!).

I do feel for her sons (12 and 15) and did indeed put the card straight in the shredder when it arrived.

OP posts:
jollyoldstnickschick · 20/12/2008 23:03

I bet itd sell on ebay

Ripeberry · 20/12/2008 23:04

Well at least it's different and better than number 10's xmas card. ROLMAO if its real thought!

Cicatrice · 20/12/2008 23:06

I don't think you can say anything really. I just can't think of anything.

mynameis · 20/12/2008 23:08

I'm sorry but I'm ROFL and I'm at work!
Will try to come back with something more constructive in a min

MarmadukeScarlet · 20/12/2008 23:10

We were shown round a house by the owner, it was very off putting that there were naked photos and paintings of her - including close ups of parts of her anatomy everywhere. Her DH was/is an artist.

You have my deepest empathy.

whethergirl · 20/12/2008 23:11

YANBU. I'm certainly no prude but to bring up your sons with the idea that it's ok for mum to get her tits out for everyone...don't think they are going to have a lot of respect for women somehow.

You are going to have to deal with three people who won't agree with you if you complain about it. No-one's tits are worth the headache. Better just to shred it, as you've done, and try and forget about it. If it ever comes up in conversation, you can always make your point subtely, by just saying you didn't have it on display for obvious reasons or something.

twentypence · 20/12/2008 23:12

Brilliant. I am a music teacher and always send and receive cards with a musical theme. This is way better. It's given me a laugh.

And all your dd would think when seeing bare breast is "dinner"

NCRedBreastedBirdy · 20/12/2008 23:12

Err.. I have a horrib;e feeling I know them/you - please tell me this is a wind up because, if not, things have gone to a whole new level...

It is the dp cheer up part I recognise but naked norks is a new chapter AFAIK...

jollyoldstnickschick · 20/12/2008 23:14

redbreastedbirdy did they just send you a charity card from boots??

NCRedBreastedBirdy · 20/12/2008 23:20

Lol, no I lost contact a loooong time ago - around when my dd was 2 so, maybe 11 years ago. (do the math ) I have heard about some weird and wonderful "dancing" for a friend though, it all sounded suspiciously similar to the above...

God I hope this is a wind up, I always figured that sons would led to a natural demise of activity...

Then again, if it is, I have outed myself as having dodgy friends on the inter-web for ne reason

pantomimEDAMe · 20/12/2008 23:20

Yikes!

I have absolutely no idea how you would even go about starting that conversation. "Hello Mrsdhfriend, how are you? And Mr dhsfriend? And the boys? Now, about your tits..."

alfiemamagotstuckupthechimney · 20/12/2008 23:34

ee its a small world.

gracie101 · 21/12/2008 00:34

Get a magic marker and draw a big bra on her every year when it arrives. And a Hitler moustache too. Then put it on the shelf. Do this every year for ten years.

Or put it in the shredder the moment it arrives making sure it makes a large HODDDDDDRRRRRRRRRRRR sound. Say nothing else about it.

Original poster
imsantasmum · 21/12/2008 22:28

redbreastedbird you won't know me as have been with DP for less than 10 years.

Don't think you'll know me cos it's not the first year we've been sent a topless card but having DD makes me want to do something about it (previously didn't like it but brushed it off).
We're all from North wales if it helps. DP swears he didn't tell anyone else and it really wasn't 'dancing' but she..ahem..played with herself etc etc. DP also says it wasn't actually when he was dumped but for his birthday about14 years ago.

And I promise you, it's the honest truth. Not a wind up.

OP posts:
prettybutterfly · 21/12/2008 22:30

YANBU.

:-|

BarcodeTheRedNosedZebra · 21/12/2008 22:36

What's the message inside?

Happy one-of-the-wristmas?