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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect friends of DP (who are a married couple) not to send us an xmas card witha shot of her bare breasts on?

47 replies

imsantasmum · 20/12/2008 22:48

He is a photographer, she works in the soft porn industry. Without going into too much detail, she works from home and it involves little clothing, other very friendly women and websites/premium rate phone calls..get the picture. Apparently, she's quite good at it and her DH does the pictures/updates website etc.

That's all fine, I'm not a prude, it's her business but I have no wish to know any details. yet they insist sending us an xmas card every year that is clearly meant for their punters. On the front is her in sexy xmas gear and on the back is a topless shot (think readers wives - this girl's had 2 kids and is the wrong side of 30).
I get really hacked off as I don't want to see her norks! Plus this year we have our precious first DD and I'm going to have to say something as it really creeps me out. the card is signed from him, her and their 2 teenage boys and is to me, DP and DD! I find it slightly offensive. It's not as if we can display the card FFS.

DP just laughs and doesn't understand why i get upset. He then gets a bit huffy that I am critical of his friends.

Btw, these 'friends' decided to cheer him up years ago (way before me), when his girlfriend dumped him, by her having lots of x-rated fun in front of him with a battery powered toy (IYKWIM), while her DH watched (DP didn't join in, he just watched also and says he found it might strange)!! Before my time, so can't complain, but I jut find them both a bit weird.
AIBU to want to ask them to stop sending the card?

OP posts:
LucyEllensmummy · 21/12/2008 22:36

To be honest, i would just come right out and say that you don't feel comfy receiving the card as it is adressed to DD too and that you don't feel you can display it anyway. If she is happy to do soft porn and get her tits out (i don't have a problem with that) i think she will be open minded enough to understand that not everyone appreciates that sort of thing. I just think that as you haven't said anything before they assume you quite like it.

Are you sure you are not a bit jealous? I know i would be insensed if DP had friends that did this. I would think it funny if they were MY friends, if you see what i mean?

Honestly, i'd just tell them straight, if they are good friends they wont mind sticking to sending a card with a robin on it instead of pussy

solidgoldprawnring · 21/12/2008 22:44

. I'd suggest not making a big deal out of it but just saying to your DH that you don't want to put that card on display because you've got other mums coming round for tea. They probably get the one card printed every year and send it to everyone without really thinking about it because the majority of their card list are people who will appreciate it or put it up at work or something. DS dad used to moan at me for having various smutty cards on display (most of which were the sort you can buy in Smiths or at least the high st)... have just noticed no one has sent anything other than tasteful this year. Perhaps they are all actually thinking that DS is 4 now and might notice...

blueshoes · 21/12/2008 22:51

I would be fascinated to know someone who, erm, models in the soft porn industry. It would be a great talking point. Would be very amused to receive such a X'mas card every year.

Iamsanta, not sure if I understood what you were actually describing in the battery-operated incident.

TheYearOfTheCat · 21/12/2008 23:36

Gosh!

If I wasn't completely irreligious (is there such a word?) I would question if they really have got the meaning of Christmas

Can you post a link to a website so we can assess if the norks really do look the wrong side of 30?

skrimbo · 21/12/2008 23:44

I thought you might add a photo of the card to your profile so we can all [fshacok].
.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 22/12/2008 08:49

blimey, I wish my norks were (only) the wrong side of 30 !!

NCRedBreastedBirdy · 22/12/2008 08:57

Blueshoes, believe me it fast becomes dull (especially if that person is the type who wants to talk to you abut it IME)

Nope, you are right, not you - the incident I heard about was around 8 years ago now. (I have lost contact with them but still have contact with his brother so I find lots of thngs out )

teenspirit · 22/12/2008 09:07

This is so funny - yanbu however I would laugh my xmas hat off if we received the same

MrsMagooo · 22/12/2008 09:14

Could have been worse - could have been a piccie of you MILs norks

But no, YANBU - I like Gracies idea of drawing a bra on her, made me chuckle!

NotDoingTheHousework · 22/12/2008 09:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

PingpingsatonSantasface · 22/12/2008 09:22

LOL Lucyellensmum and Teenspirit.

PMSL at this thread.

YANBU for not wanting the card just throw it away or tell your DP to put it somewhere away from prying eyes.

TinyTimLivesinVictorianSqualor · 22/12/2008 09:33

LEM!! Where have you been?????

LucyEllensmummy · 22/12/2008 10:24

Ive been "on a break" partly self imposed and did lurk on a different name for a while but not as much, then we didn't feed the ISP meter and they cut off my right arm our internet. I persuaded badgered DP to pay the bill when he persuaded harrangued me into agreeing to a new dog - well, one has to do research into the breed etc, so here i am.

TinyTimLivesinVictorianSqualor · 22/12/2008 10:43

Nice to see you back.

LucyEllensmummy · 22/12/2008 10:51

Thankyou .

I would just like to add that i meant, rather have a card with robins on that tits. Not pussy - that doesn't work at all

tessofthedurbervilles · 22/12/2008 10:53

get someone to take a pic of your bare ar*e cheeks, make it in to a card and send that to them....should get the hint from that?!

Lauriefairyonthetreeeatscake · 22/12/2008 10:55

My dh has just read this and thinks you are missing a trick - take a photo of your dh's bare arsehole, attach to card and send it to them

Lauriefairyonthetreeeatscake · 22/12/2008 10:56

lol x-posted with tess, great minds think alike

tessofthedurbervilles · 22/12/2008 10:57

lol!

Nekabu · 22/12/2008 12:21

Just chuck it. I can't see you coming out of this looking anything other than a bit of a prude and/or stirrer if you say anything as they obviously don't have a problem with it and it sounds as though your dh doesn't either, or certainly not to the extent he's willing to say anything. You can't use dd as an excuse either as she'd just view them as the milk bar at her age and everyone will know that. I expect they send the same card out to everyone though it is rather insensitive to do that. FWIW I'd chuck it too!

TheYearOfTheCat · 22/12/2008 12:21

photo of card please?

Original poster
imsantasmum · 23/12/2008 09:50

Lauriefairy like your suggestion - made me laugh!

Had another look at card before I shredded it and it's not just her norks - she's also got no knickers on (covered by a black lacy thing - i didn't look properly first time round as I didn't really want to, IYKWIM!) and the card refers to her 'spinning around in front of you this xmas'. So now know I'm NBU and am NOT a prude - just not happy for anyone under 18 to get a card from someone in the porn business that is clearly a card sent to punters (got copyright legal stuff on it and everything).

And to all those saddos mumsnetters wanting to see photo or get link to website, it's not something I'd put on any website, so tough (are you men by any chance??)

Thanks to all those who posted helpful opinions, especially ones who made me

OP posts:
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