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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at my Dad for making fun of my daughter. (in front of her)

41 replies

mummyloveslucy · 20/12/2008 15:51

Hi, I haven't seen my Dad in about a year and he came around today to drop off our pressies and he had a coffee with me. My daughter was there and all was going well untill the last minute. He said to my daughter "I'll come and see you agaid soon, would you like that?" and my daughter answered "yes please, that would be very kind of you". He asked me what she'd said as he dosn't understand a word she says and when I told him he burst out laughing. He said "Oh you can tell she goes to a private school, the sooner you get her in to a state school the better". He then said "I can't wait to tell my wife," then he repeated what my daughter had said but in a posh accent. I felt like saying "if she said it like that, you wouldn't have had to ask me what she'd said.
She is not even 4 yet. I'm annoyed now because I've thought of loads of things I could've said back to him.
Dosn't he think children in state schools have manners? My Husband and I both went to state schools and she's learnt her manners from us. What should Isay to him when he comes around again?

OP posts:
Tortington · 20/12/2008 15:52

erm nothing.

TLESinChristmasStockings · 20/12/2008 15:53

eerrr goodbye as you close the door??

Original poster
mummyloveslucy · 20/12/2008 15:55

Yes, I'd feel like it.

OP posts:
piscesmoon · 20/12/2008 15:56

It would make me smile if a 3 yr old said it-you can tell she spends most of her time with adults! I think it is sweet. Don't say anything next time-life doesn't have to be so serious-especially not at Christmas!

aam · 20/12/2008 15:56

YANBU. It really destroys a childs confidence when grown ups laugh at them.

At this age children really need confidence boosts. Laughing at her will just make her shy.

MrsMagooo · 20/12/2008 15:57

Don't invite him round again!

piscesmoon · 20/12/2008 15:57

DD won't notice-unless you make a big thing of it!

LiffeyCanSpellGeansaiNollaig · 20/12/2008 15:57

He sounds mad. Put him into a state run nursing home

Original poster
mummyloveslucy · 20/12/2008 16:01

Yes she does spend a lot of time with adults.
It's sad because we are really trying to build her confidence as she has a speech disorder and has reached the age that she's aware of it.

OP posts:
Original poster
mummyloveslucy · 20/12/2008 16:02

Nice one Liffey.

OP posts:
TheFalconInThePearTree · 20/12/2008 16:07

YANBU. Your dd sounds adorable.

May I suggest buying him an etiquette book for Christmas?

Original poster
mummyloveslucy · 20/12/2008 16:08

I don't think my daughter really understood that he was laughing at her because she laughed with him.
She is such a sweetie, I know not a lot of 3 year olds would say things like that but it's just her.

OP posts:
Original poster
mummyloveslucy · 20/12/2008 16:09

Thank you, I think I will.

OP posts:
piscesmoon · 20/12/2008 16:09

All small DCs talk like that if they are an only, and spend most of the day in adult company. My DC1 had lovely turns of phrase.Be happy that it brightened someone's day. Your DD doesn't have to be upset-just say 'grandad was laughing because he was so pleased you want to see him again'.Families shouldn't have to walk on eggshells trying not to say the wrong thing!

ChristmasFairySantAsSLut · 20/12/2008 16:15

hmm..is tehre any chance he might have realised just how badly he put his foot in, considering that your daughter has speech difficulties and that he was trying to cover it up...if badly and obviously only dug himself in deeper?

Also, did he say it in a nasty way...or jokingly...again, not saying he was right, just well, people don't think sometimes , erm...or often...

OhLITTLEFISHofBethlehem · 20/12/2008 16:15

Is this the same dad who doesn't want your dd to make any noise when you go and visit him?

Original poster
mummyloveslucy · 20/12/2008 16:16

He dosn't walk on egg shells, he's quite rude and outspoken a lot of the time.
It didn't seem to bother my daughter but it will as she gets older.
My Dads wife is quite rough and I remember her laughing about me when I was little, because I was quite well spoken and used nice phrases.

OP posts:
Original poster
mummyloveslucy · 20/12/2008 16:19

No, the Dad that dosn't like her making noise is acctually my step Dad. He raised me from the age of 6 months, I see him every week but I don't see my real Dad very often. (My Mum didn't have much luck really)

OP posts:
Coldtits · 20/12/2008 16:20

Knowing what I know about raising a child with a speech delay, I'd say blow his car up (NO DON@T REALLY).

Ds1 was mocked aged 4 at a "holiday club" on stage, by the cunt man who was supposed to be running it. I honest to God wanted to rip out his spleen.

ChristmasFairySantAsSLut · 20/12/2008 16:22

mummyloveslucy....well, in that case YANBU whatsoever....
and your stepdad sounds like a twat lovely not so lovely man

Lotster · 20/12/2008 16:23

Your little one sounds absolutely lovely, he sounds like a silly old git! No offence meant there, but he could be developing what we call in my family "Prince Phillip syndrome" when referring to my dad.

Basically this is where the older they get, the more right they think they have to come out with silly, pompous or just offensive rubbish.

-Like when my dad asked within 10 minutes of meeting my newborn when would he "get a chin?" (my sister explained they are set back so they can reach the breast..)
-Or when he refers to my son as a "bruiser" meaning he's chunky
-Or when he just cuts to the chase along with my mum and implies he's overfed (he's not)
-Or when he asked my friend if she'd been "eating lots of cakes" when she was pregnant and feeling fat

I could go on and on...

Hopefully your LO was too young to feel paranoid. I'd mention it to him anyway so he makes more of an effort next time, although if your dad's anything mike mine you be being "oversensitive"....

ChristmasFairySantAsSLut · 20/12/2008 16:24

Colditz...that is awful....

I had a fair few speech issues (cleft lip and palate) and it isn't nice when people take the piss or go over the top about NOT understanding you and stuff....
I am just glad that OPs daughter isn't taking it to heart yet....!

Original poster
mummyloveslucy · 20/12/2008 16:24

I probubly would've.

I was dyslexic and he used to take the micky out of my spelling too. If I wrote him a story, he'd read it back to me as I'd written it with all the mistakes.

OP posts:
Original poster
mummyloveslucy · 20/12/2008 16:25

No, the Dad that dosn't like her making noise is acctually my step Dad. He raised me from the age of 6 months, I see him every week but I don't see my real Dad very often. (My Mum didn't have much luck really)

OP posts:
ChristmasFairySantAsSLut · 20/12/2008 16:26

got he sounds more vile by the moment...I think earlier suggestions of saying good bye at teh door might really be the answer... and for your experiences...