To be annoyed at my Dad for making fun of my daughter. (in front of her)

[mummyloveslucy]

Hi, I haven't seen my Dad in about a year and he came around today to drop off our pressies and he had a coffee with me. My daughter was there and all was going well untill the last minute. He said to my daughter "I'll come and see you agaid soon, would you like that?" and my daughter answered "yes please, that would be very kind of you". He asked me what she'd said as he dosn't understand a word she says and when I told him he burst out laughing. He said "Oh you can tell she goes to a private school, the sooner you get her in to a state school the better". He then said "I can't wait to tell my wife," then he repeated what my daughter had said but in a posh accent. I felt like saying "if she said it like that, you wouldn't have had to ask me what she'd said.
She is not even 4 yet. I'm annoyed now because I've thought of loads of things I could've said back to him.
Dosn't he think children in state schools have manners? My Husband and I both went to state schools and she's learnt her manners from us. What should Isay to him when he comes around again?

mummy, that is the sad thing you dad being like this and your stepdad also being not much better ...

No YANBU, that is really mean of him - not just laughing at her accent, but also what she actually said, which is a really sweet thing to say. If it really bothers you I'd say something.

Didn't you post a few weeks ago about your dad telling her off for laughing recently?? It sounds like he's pretty unpleasant and/or doesn't know how to relate to children. If you value your relationship with him, and want him to have a good relationship with your dd I'd talk to him about this, as it seems to be upsetting you a lot.

I know, they should really be greatfull that they have a little granddaughter who loves them so much. She is always looking for ways to please and help people, they don't know how lucky they are.

Oops just seen it was your step-dad who didn't like her laughing. Sounds like you've got a pretty rotten deal with both real dad and step-dad

What a guy - taking the piss out of a 3 year old Bet he's soooo pleased with himself...

Good that your DD wasn't bothered - but she will meet lots of people who will tease her. Obviously not in her own home, and these people hopefully won't be her relatives.

If he does this again, say something like, 'we don't have a problem with the way she speaks.... want to share the joke with the rest of the class?' And generally treat him like an errant, um, 3 year old!

Or something like, 'we're trying to instill manners and are teaching her that making fun of people isn't nice...'

You need to teach your dd to speak to your dad

like this

Teach her some language he would understand then "F* of you patronising old git."

Having said that I suspect she won;t realise and just think she's done something to make her granddad smile.

I laughed as soon as I saw the thread title and thought you were being precious, but to make fun of a kid that age over the way they speak is pretty crap and would knock her confidence, I would have been furious.

My parents were often inclined to laugh at me and take the piss. My Dad even did it at my wedding in his speech. It is seriously damaging.

I recommend if it happens again you limit contact to even less than once a year!

My ds was like your DD at this age, MLL - as someone said, if they're a singleton and they spend all day talking to you, they DO get a very adult way of talking - of course they do, kids learn from what's around them.

It's nothing but a sign that you are a lovely mum who is spending time talking to, and bringing along her child. When she's at school (private OR state!) she will soon enough start with the "oh whatever".....mode of talking!!

I wouldn't get too worried about it; it just shows your dad knows alot less about good parenting than you do.

I had this with a relative; DS, though I say it myself, was almost weirdly articulate and used to surprise people with his grown up speech; most people said something like "oh isn't he articulate" whereas a silly relative said "oh he sounds like a little old man". Very negative way of seeing it. But as I say, reflects totally on them not on the child.

I suspect you would be too polite to say "off you fuck". But really given her speech problems he shouldn't be risking her confidence and self-esteem by mocking any aspect of what she says.

You seem to have difficult relations! I think that whatever the provocation I would grit my teeth and smile and say something to make DD feel good. If you harbour resentments you will get very bitter (if you want to continue these relationships).

Oh that is horrific. She sounds absolutely amazing bless her heart. How could he do that to a child? I take it he is not a sensitive man....I would feel sorry for him actually.

Ahh bless her. I thought most young children were "overly" polite, I thought it was all part of the learning from adults. Its very cute.

I used to have a lisp and was very conscious of it. Know its a bit different (and it disappeared when I got to 12 ish) but I would have a word with your dad and tell him that he is out of order.

Maybe he is saying it more to you than her. Is he quite envious that you pay for private school?

Thanks everyone.

When I see him next I might say something like, "Did you tell your wife what Lucy said?, did it make you feel good laughing at a 3 year old?".

He probubly is jellous, I remember having a conversation with him before my daughter was born, he was saying that if you wanted your daughter to do well in this area, she had to go to this school and if you had a boy he'd have to go to the boys grammer.
I don't think he ever imagined I'd be sending my daughter there. (I don't do it for accademic reasons either).

That link was funny Dingdong.