to be cross that dh has gone out and spent this week's grocery budget on booze...

[ilovejonty]

.... because - in his words - 'it's Christmas'?

I was so annoyed, we are struggling at the moment, like many people I guess. I gave up a good job to be a sahm and have no money of my own. I was all set to go to Tesco last night but dh arrived home laden with (expensive booze) which he had bought on his way home from work. I asked how much he spent and he said £60. I know he lies and it was probebly more. Even so I was staggered. One bottle of chanpagne cost £10 when I would have been happy with £3 cava.

I said he could have beans on toast last night as I had no money to buy groceries.

I am not a scrooge but he is so extravagant imo. AIBU? And can nI take the £10 bottle of champagne back to get a refund? He won't let me have the receipt?

lots of people spend too much money at Christmas when money is tight. It hints at nothing more than Christmas in most cases.
Useful for you to suggest a problem with alcohol though.

OP thanked me for some helpful suggestions whilst your ranting seems to have gone....well on and on... with nothing helpful to add but some alcoholic name calling

dittany I'm not offended by you I'm confused by you.

Dittany
"Ha, I wasn't suggesting anything like that. I was just reflecting back what you did to me. You think it's OK to suggest to me it touched a nerve but get offended when I do it back to you? Funny.

Actually I thought your nerve might be a very bad case of double standards but I don't know for sure which is why I mentioned it."

I'm sorry this is just jibberish to me

Honestly, but I'm sure it made some form of sense to you when you typed it...clarification for anyone else not in your head would be helpful, to me at least.

This is some form of circular argument you are having with yourself but I'm happy to somehow be involved no matter how incoherently.

You can't speak of her husband with any certainty only on the basis of this one act which has probably been perpetrated by thousands of husbands and wives country wide.
I was constructive and honest with the op and she saw that and thanked me.

Please continue with you fuzzy logic, it's an otherwise slow evening

in the absence of the receipt could you take stuff back for credit note for food,dreadful situation

and......?

Dittany and Ronaldinhio, please don't come to blows over this!

Everyone has been helpful and I wanted your opinions otherwise wouldn't have posted on this topic.

I would like to clarify that it was a joint decision for me to give up work and the reasons why I would prefer to care for my ds (rather than my husband) are personal and I'm afraid I can't explain here.

I do drink alcohol but not when I/we can't afford it! As I said, a £3 cava would have been 'treat' enough for me. I don't need to drink to have a good time.

The (or one of the) problem with my dh is that he has trouble accepting that we now (ie with me not working) can't afford to drink £60 worth of booze, Christmas or not. I don't think he has an alcohol 'problem' as such, he just always wants the best even when we clearly can't afford it. If I had done the shopping I may have included a £3 cava and perhaps one bottle of £2.99 plonk.

I was a little confused by the post which asked how much had been spent on Christmas presents in our household. I hope no-one is assuming we have gone wild on the credit cards for that reason. The answer is in fact nothing on ourselves and £40 on our son. I told my dh I did not need/ want anything just for the sake of it, and maybe we will have a look in the January sales.

As an update on the situation, he has agreed to take the £10 bottle of champagne back for a refund. This still leaves me short however. The underlying problem is with his lack of budgeting and responsibility.

Twinset - I have explained in earlier posts that I am looking for part time (evening etc) work (of any kind), but without success so far.

It's priorities, isn't it?

shelter and food first. It's not rocket science. When those basic needs are met, THEN and only then, you go further. If the op seriously meant that because of this expenditure she could not buy any food, that would be outragious behaviour from her partner. But I note, OP, that you have a little stashed away you will have to use, so regardless of this blowout, you will eat.

It's not ideal though is it? You should be pulling together not apart. I think lots of talking is needed (talking AND listening from each!)