To expect my nanny NOT to feed my two year old a McDonalds Happy Meal?

[coolbeans]

I know it's not the end of the world and he is nearly three but I don't think it's unreasonable to expect her to ASK me, at least, before takes him out and stuffs him full of chicken nuggets and chips for lunch.

I'm not against McD's as such, but he's still really little and there's no need to take him there yet - it's not a bloody treat - as she seems to think.

I think that's what has annoyed me most. It's just food, I don't want him associating it with being a "treat" outing.

Your posts are so patronising Anna. I cannot stand the smug tone.

Oh I'm so sorry to have hurt your feelings.

Anna

You're talking about mindreading you numpty.
Can you imagine employing someone who checked everything instead of using their intitiative where bending rules is concerned?

Are you a robot?

No it's mindreading: it really isn't. It is about having a skillset sufficient to do the job properly.

IM (actually very extensive management) experience, employing people with an insufficient skillset for the task you set them requires endless micromanagement and discussion of minutiae because you never really trust them.

Personally, I wouldn't want to leave my children with someone I didn't trust. But a lot of people on this thread feel able to, and to micromanage them to compensate for their lack of skills. Good luck to them.

"The skill is having enough knowledge about nutrition to know to check systematically with the parent when the employee would like to cross the boundaries between good and bad nutrition."

of course mds are bad nutrition, we ALL know that BUT the point us nannies are making IF the parents didnt say DONT give our children xyz, bad stuff etc , then how are we meant to know, that we cant take the children there very occasionally?

does that mean no cakes, biscuits, flavoured rice cakes, not jelly that isnt sugar free,yogurts that have puree at bottom as have so much sugar etc, chips and crisps as fatty,ready made chocken nuggets, tom pasta sauces as have too much salt in them etc

if something is that important to the parents,that the nanny doesnt do it, ie let charges go in a friends car, eat mds, etc then TELL the nanny or have it in the contract

so as the OP hadnt told her nanny not to go to mds then she she is bu,and sure the nanny wont ever go there again

not mindreading

Anna, funny you should bring up the issue of micromanagement. Once I have explained the issues that are important to me to my carer, as a professional, I would expect her to gauge what my pressure points are. Outside of that, I am happy to give her freedom to get on with the business of looking after my dcs without needing her to check with me on small things, like the occasional treat. Ex post facto checking is fine.

And if I find out that she did something that I would not do, I will just, erm, mention it to her.

I do however agree that you will know within a week or 2 whether someone will be a good carer for your children. But that is just on a gut level. Assuming she passes that test, the details still have to worked through. I don't automatically make judgments on her skill if she does something different to me.

What, so everything that a boss doesn't specifically state is not allowed in a contract may be done willy-nilly by the nanny until found out and told off? Come on.

The nanny didn't need to be "found out and told off" - she just did something differently to how her boss would, so the boss needs to say "I'd rather you don't take her to fast food places again".

Just like if the nanny took their charge to a softplay centre and the mum would rather she didn't, or let her go to playgroup dressed as spiderman and the mum was rather she was dressed normally, or gave her a lollipop or whatever it is.

Going to a fast food place as a one off is hardly a major health and safety issue.

People can do things differently to one another, but in an equally skilled way such that a job is done to similar standards. That is not the same as having insufficient skills.

Anna, these things are not for a contract. I am sure you can understand that in your extensive management experience. When an employee starts in a new role, the manager has to brief them. And it is in these induction conversations that things of importance to the employer should be brought up. The rest can just be played by ear.

No I will not 'tell off' a nanny for doing something wrong in retrospect. I would bring it up to her attention that I want her to do things differently in future. And the professional that she is, I would expect her to take it on board.

In any case, I don't look for things to fault her on. If my dcs are happy, eg with a McD treat, whatever my reservations (none in this case), I can let it go.

Good point, fiofio. A nanny would bring a different experience to my dcs. It can be nice she does things differently. In fact, I can see myself learning from her. I don't necessarily want her to be a clone of me And bending the rules is ok every now and then, provided that if things are really THAT important that no rule-bending is allowed, then the nanny needs to be told.

The parent has to be organised enough to note that what she regards as important. I do keep a running of safety rules which I always brief my aupairs on - ok, they are not nannies, though I would do the same if they were simply because it meant that much to me. And if I think of another one, I add to the list.

running list

I don't think that this level of detail is for contract, I quite agree. But that doesn't mean that the issues aren't (or cannot be) covered by contract.

All this conversation (sadly) proves is society's generally low expectations of professional child carers, and how much seemingly needs to be spelled out to them.

You only need to spell that much out if you are an obsessive control-freak who can't grasp that variety is a good thing and that there is more than one way to parent and raise a healthy independant child. Anna - you are talking bollocks on this thread.

I still think this is all bolleaux.
The OP didn't make it clear McDonald's is a no no.
Because regardless of how you feel about McDonald's, many people are happy for their children to go there.

The OP didn't make it clear tothe nanny.
That's all.

So nannies should do whatever they feel like with their charges, parents should pay them and be grateful that nannies do things that parents themselves would never allow their children to do?

Yes, that about sums up a lot of what I have read on this thread.

In other words, the OP assumed her nanny would not take the boy to Mcdonalds
The nanny did.
Because she didn't thingk it would be a problem.

Anyone here as pleased as I am they have never had to work with or for Anna in any capacity?

Actually if you are mad control freak with food phobias, I really do think you ought to spell this out to your nanny, so she can find a better job with normal folk.

So nannies should do whatever they feel like with their charges, parents should pay them and be grateful that nannies do things that parents themselves would never allow their children to do?

No.
nannies should do what they're paid to do and not read farking minds.

We need the OP back.