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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to have got my 360 degree feedback at work and want to stamp my foot like a small child might do

67 replies

tumpyfairygodmother · 17/12/2008 20:53

I think I am probably being a bit unreasonable here TBH but I am feeling a little bruised. I asked 12 of my colleagues to fill in a 360 degree feedback questionnaire and I got my results today. Most of it is good but as ever with this sort of thing its the bad bits which are sticking in my mind at the moment. I feel like stamping my foot at them all in true tantrum manner ! as most of them haven't got the guts to ask anyone else what they think of them - never mind have it in written form. AIBU to feel like this?

OP posts:

Technofairy · 17/12/2008 23:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Bienchen · 18/12/2008 07:16

Tumpy, that could have been mine a few years ago. We also got to suggest most of the people who would do the feedback. I think I was the only one who actually chose colleagues that I found challenging to work with whohowever were absolutely vital in driving change. Just about everyone else chose soft options.... That was the charity sector ca 10 years ago.

Original poster

tumpyfairygodmother · 18/12/2008 07:42

interesting feedback everyone - thanks.
Its a bit of a dilemna as my manager gave me fantastic feedback but it was my colleagues who were happy with what I did but were not happy with the way I do it. I chose a mix of people deliberately so that I got feedback from people who I know don't "like" me and those that I get on better with. At the end of the day if I need to work with people who are different to me ( which I do obviously) then I either need to do this in a less antagonistic way or accept that some people won't like me and that is just tough. I am still deciding what its to be but all of your feedback is proving helpful as I think it through.

OP posts:

starbear · 18/12/2008 08:38

I gave my boss some feedback yesturday and it wasn't very nice. I'm fuming. I wish I could have just smacked him in the face. Oh! Sorry, I'll start my own thread later!

VirginBoffinMum · 18/12/2008 09:47

I wonder if "cocky, aggressive and blunt" could be crudely translated as "potentially very successful if you were a bloke".

I am very blunt indeed but it has never been a problem (for me, anyway!)

PurpleKate · 18/12/2008 10:08

I loathe and detest 'feedback' from work. First I viewed feedback as an opportunity to correct my flaws. Now I just view those flaws as character traits, because in spite of my best endevours early on, none of the 'flaws' have gone away apparently.

The other thing to remember is that feedback doesn't just reflect other peoples opinions of you, but they also reflect what those people believe are good (and bad) character traits for someone in your role. You may not agree with that perception. For example, I was once preasurised in to choosing an individual who didn't like women to give feedback on my performance. He pretty much gave me the worst feedback I'd ever had in my life - this in turn meant that that year's assesment was also the worst I'd ever had. But I didn't believe for one moment that my performance had significantly worsened that year. In fact. I successfully argued that the feedback was skewed, and got a re-assement that was much better (and thus got a pay rise).

So is feedback worth the paper is written/printed on? Yes, but only if it can lead to a payrise or promotion.

CruellaDevile · 18/12/2008 10:11

I think if that was the feedback you should take it on the chin and think about how you could change the way you're perceived. It is supposed to be constructive not a slagging off ime.

anniemac · 18/12/2008 10:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

lingle · 18/12/2008 20:25

I would like to give the OP some 360 degree feedback.

"It was a very good thread title. Informative but also made me giggle a bit. I could just see you with your foot raised".

wrapstar · 18/12/2008 20:29

Ugh. Sounds appalling. Just a way of letting people vent at the boss, and expose their sexism.

Nighbynight · 18/12/2008 21:04

tumpy, I agree, that's not bad feedback. If you were a male manager, that would def be "confident, assertive" etc. as someone else said.
Maybe you're in the wrong job for your skills???

the 360 assessment idea sounds terrible, btw! I would hide under my desk to avoid being signed up for that.

HarrietTheSpy · 18/12/2008 22:01

HATE 360s. Did you at least get to pick who did the references?

I once worked for a company where it was a free for all in the sense that anyone (in the business or a related business) could write in about you unprompted. Gave you a ranking in various areas, one to five. Obviously if you wrote in about someone who you had absolutely nothing to do with, perhpas they would adjust for that (uif the HR person was aware enough to know if they did or didn't). But otherwise no. So, a wanker who disliked you for whatever reason, if they sounded eloquent enough, and had AT LEAST SOMETHING to do with you, could completely skew your total 'score.'

Original poster

tumpyfairygodmother · 18/12/2008 23:06

lingle - why thank you for your constructive comments on my thread making abilities.........
thanks Nighby,virgin,purple ...
Harriet.... that sounds like a nightmare and yes I did get to pick my feedback bods. I was brave though and chose a mix of people so I could get a "range" of feedback.

Really I am just waiting for the rest of the office to have the balls to do it so I can give them "feedback" too.

OP posts:

VirginBoffinMum · 19/12/2008 14:34

I forgot to say that once I went on a 'training the trainers' course, and part of this was how to give feedback via the infamous 'praise sandwich' (when you say something nice, say something critical, and then end on an upbeat note).

At the end of the course the trainers put their chairs in a row and asked for a feedback praise sandwich themselves, so they could improve and so we could get the practice. One by one we did exactly this, and the trainers got more and more despondent, so we abandoned the exercise in the end, as they looked so down!!!

LoveBeingAMummyKissingSanta · 19/12/2008 14:35

don't ask a question if your not prepared for the answer!

(this goes for 360 and AIBU)

missorinoco · 19/12/2008 14:44

stamping ones foot is seriously underrated. it always makes me feel much better. stamp away, then have a relook at the form next week. in the interim, cocky, aggressive, blunt etc are the other sides of assertive, decisive and forward thinking

do you not have to go through it with a supervisor at some point any way?

babbi · 20/12/2008 00:18

This brings back memories of an American Company that I worked in way back in 1996 (in Scotland though) . This "new concept" of appraisal was rolled out as the best way for all 120 of us at all levels to "significantly identify and work on all of our skills needs etc"
All were assured that feedback would be confidential so be as candid as possible as that was "the best and only way to help each other" blah blah .
Anyway results are published and distributed arriving from the big and clever HR centre in the States in posh envelopes direct to each employee WITH the names of each contributor under each comment that they supplied . I promise this is true - police were called to our offices as the FOURTH physical punch up got seriously out of hand .. other minor exchanges of views were the order of the day - I have never and will not ever participate in any such thing again ..
Oh and Tumpy - I was called cocky too - though I did get off lightly compared to some . YANBU

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