To not want my ex's gf round at my flat on christmas morning?

[spookycharlotte121]

Me ane exp arranged weeks ago that he was coming to my flat on christmas morning to spend 1 measly fucking hour with the kids and open prezzies with them. His gf and her dd now want to come. Im starting to get really fucked off by this. Can he not just spend 1 hour on his own with his kids without being supervised?
For those of you who come on here and say she is his other half and has intrests in the kids yadda yadda, its a load of bull, she only wants to be here coz she doesnt trust us together.
I dont know weather to scream or cry. He said that she is going to go mad if she cant come so he will take them over to his for a bit instead but then I dont get to do the whole gift opening thing with them.
I thought we would spend the morning hanging out in our pj's opening prezzies and then get dressed and go to my mums but now its tits up. Im so angry, its dd's first christmas and I wanted it to be special but now it looks like its gonna be crap and Im sick of always being the one to compromise.

Good for you, SpookyCharlotte!! I think you've done exactly the right thing in standing up to him. Yes, as compo says, of course he has a right to see his children on Christmas day - but you have just as much right to say who comes into YOUR house - especially on Christmas Day!!

Good for you for sticking to your guns. Your children should be able to have 1:1 time with him opening their presents. IF she feels insecure then she will have to deal with it.

Ummm they have been together somewhere between 6 and 9 months..... although I know he was shagging her when we were together so technically longer. Noone splits up with their gf of 2 1/2 years and moves in with someone they "have only just met" the following week, he really must think Im a bit simple!

The problem is that I have been so accomodating in the past just becuase I was so deserate for him to see the kids once a week that I was doing pretty much anything so that he could..... this is now being taken advantage off and I have reached breaking point. No more mr nice guy!

I know he has cheated on her too several times. They have an argument, he storms out and goes over to a mates house and they go out to a very nasty area of bristol and take women home with them. She doesnt know that he has cheated on her and I dont think it is my place to tell her.

She is very insecure. If he collects the kids alone she quizzes him when he gets home as to why he took so long. Im very disorganised and as much as I try to have everything ready when he comes to collect the kids Im always rushing around trying to find something. This ofcourse would be made a lot easier if I didnt have to pack everything for the kids when they stay with him. Im slowly building up things like a toother brush, pj's to keep at his a change of clothes etc so i dont have to pack so much every weekend. She thinks that the kids should be waiting by the door in their coats I should hand them over and not chat to exp, in reality he comes over, I pott4er about getting the last few things packed, he goes on my computrer for 5 mins to check his face book and we sometimes (god forbid) have to discuss the kids!!! She rings him too if she thinks he is taking too long.

Actually, seeing as he has so many other children and seems to do sweet FA for them, I might change my mind a bit!

I still think that generally fathers have a right to see their DCs, and do agree that you don't have to have the ex's gf in your house. If they were in a stable, committed relationship then I think you should let your DCs out to see them for an hour. But from what you say this doesn't seem to be that, does it?! (And by your own account you do have contact with her on the phone).

So good on you, stick to your guns, and make him step up to the plate and be a decent dad!

Next year if he is still with her then I wouldnt have a problem with him picking them up from mine in the afternoon, I would still like him to spend an hour with them so they have a bit of 1:1 time and then he can have them overnight and drop them back at lunch time the following morning.

He is a lovely dad to the kids and has started being affectionate to them which he has always struggled with in the past, I just think sometimes it would do him a bit of good to have time alone with them like any other normal parent would.

frosty that sounds like a very good idea. He is very strange man, he has this abbility to make women fall in love with him but treats them like poo.

Spooky I would tell him he can see them another day and do what you have planned for your children. YANBU He should put his kids first also you can get pictures of him opening presents with him.

I think you should put your foot down else he will think your a push over.

Not sure why she would want to be involved espeically with her own child some women hey.

Lol I dont want to get dragged in I just seem to have a habbit of getting sucked into other peoples lives when I should in fact be focusing on my own.

Yep, my 2 dcs are 17 months and 6 motnhs and they most certainly keep me occupied along with my uni work and decorating my shit hole flat.
To be fair to his new gf he didnt tell her that I was pregnant untill I was 6 months gone and put it to her that he had only just found out, making me look like a vindictive bitch. But he knew the moment I knew and even came to the doctors with me to make sure I was.

I dont have a problem with his gf at all, she is a nice girl and I feel sorry for her because my exp is a total bastard but that said I do think she is very controling with regards to him being around me and that has a knock on effect on my kids. I have been very tollerant up untill now but if this continues im going to make my feelings known.

Spooky its your baby's first christmas I hope you have a fab day regardless if he comes or not don't let it ruin your day.

You are more than fair with him I have read other posts done by you and you should be proud of yourself bringing up too babies by yourself and still going to Uni.

PMSL StayFrostyTheSnowmam I have not heard upside the head in ages I love that saying

How did this pan out?