to wonder why it is men who always help out women with babies rather than other women?

[HolidaysQueen]

I know we whinge about men being crap, but I've recently noticed that they are far more helpful than women when I am out and about. Pretty much every time when with my baby, I have had the door held open for me, someone helps me with buggy up steps, someone rushes to my aid when I fall over with baby in carrier like I did today (we're okay!) etc. and it is always men. Old men, young men and even a surprisingly large number of teenage boys with hoodies and bum fluff (their mums should be really proud ).

I get help pretty much every time I am out, particularly on the tube, and only once in the past 8 months has a woman actually helped out, carrying my buggy up the escalator while I carried my baby. When I fell today, two men rushed over to check we were okay while 3 women just stood there watching. On the tube the other day I was passed on the stairs by 5 or 6 women, but the first man past helped me out.

I used to help out whenever I saw a lady with a baby, but now I'm wondering if I was one of very few women who did this. I don't expect help - I know people are busy or don't notice - but I'm just amazed that it is always men that I do get help from.

AIBU to wonder why women are so much more unhelpful than men and be a bit surprised by it?

That is totally weird, I used to find that women would help me on the tube etc but not men.

Perhaps you are a lot more pretty than me?

YANBU. I think it might be because men tend to be drilled about "gentlemanliness" from an early age, especially among the older generation. Also, men can be stronger, so might feel more confident about helping to haul a large buggy up and down stairs.

I always get help from men of different ages when I am out and about, but am rarely helped by women. An assistant in Topshop watched recently as I hauled my buggy up 2 flights of stairs - I was helped back down by a customer.

I try to help wherever I can when I'm out, because I know how hard it can be to try and get around with a pram.

Not my experience at all. Just a thought- are you very attractive?

X post with orangeknickers!

i find the opposite to be true actually

This is very true. Whenever a car does not stop for me when I am waiting to cross a busy road I always know it will be driven by a woman....I have never been wrong, even women with kids in the back of the car. Men always stop to let me cross.

Also on tube an elderly woman offered to help me and then walked up the stairs with dd but that is the first time a woman has ever offered to help me. Always men.

definitely not particularly attractive! pretty normal first time mum - a bit podgy post baby, and usually wearing bad clothes with greasy hair scraped back. i suppose i do have enormous boobs at moment, but then no real cleavage due to wearing hideous nursing bras

Well I think you have a point.

Here in Spain it is always the male drivers who stop at the Zebra crosssings for me and DS. The women keep on driving

And if somebody helps me haul the pushchair up a flight of stairs that´s always a man too!

that's been my experience too - more men than women have helped (and I'm not young but maybe that's why )

I always help when I can. perhaps its because other women are often laden down with buggies etc that the men who are footloose and fancy free have the spare arms to help more.

bayingbanshee - obviously i wouldn't expect anyone with their own burdens to help and i know that usually discounts more women anyway. but i pass plenty of women without buggies/heavy loads etc. yet it is always men that help me.

...went to New York a few months ago.

I think I frightened a smart Manhattan mummy by helping her with her twin buggy down the stairs.....

Not sure such aid is often forthcoming there, especially from fat, grey Bristolians...

lol retiredgoth2...

I do help whenever I can though sometimes wish I didnt have to when the person looking pitiful at the bottom of the stairs has an enormobuggy, it takes extreme selfcontrol to not shout 'whyhaventyougotamaclaren?' all in one breath.

My dh reports that he has been helped only once when out and about with ds and the pram. It was a woman who helped him.

Do you think men are more reluctant to help other men, or have your dh's been helped by men as well as women? Or do men tend to be left to get on with it?

men can carry a buggy up and down the stairs by themselves sort of sideways though cant they? though my dp does make a right mess of getting it down off the train - last time he nearly collapsed the buggy with the dd in it

In my own experience, it's always been women who have helped me. And whenever I see a woman struggling, I always stop to help while the young able-bodied men dodge past us avoiding eye contact!!

I can carry a buggy up and down the stairs sideways - I just prefer not to because ds is so heavy, and I don't do it now because I'm pg again.

If I saw a man bumping a buggy downstairs I would go and help him - just wondered if men would be more reticent.

This thread has reminded me of the bloke I saw with a buggy the other day trying to get it up the steps on the tube - he was trying to do it forwards and of course it just kept slamming into the step. There were two women with him (one of whom was carrying the baby) who were berating him crossly in a language I didn't understand. Was very

I find that too HQ! Especially in Central London, I think it might be because of the demographics, for example, you get lots more men on some tube lines i.e. the Waterloo and City and as a consequence of that you will have a man offer to help.

The Victoria Line is often full of self obsessed young fashion junkies - too wrapped up in iPods and looking in the mirror to notice anyone else!

This is my totally unproven with no science behind it theory I'm just grateful to get help, did 3 flights of stairs at Vauxhall on my own last week as the train man wouldn't help me

I often find men chat to me and DD on the tube/bus and women don't. Meh.

I often help other women out, but when I am with my partner, he will always either get there first, or take over from me if I offer...which I am happy enough with as buggys are heavy to carry upstairs, and I wouldn't want to be responsible for dropping one down the stairs.

I'm helped by women and men but I'm always a bit surprised when young men help as I somehow expect it of women and older men who have kids.

I find the opposite too, that it is almost always other women.

Baggy bummed teenaged boys with hoodies and bumfluff and swears all over their t shirt are, I swear, some of the sweetest creatures on the planet. They hold doors open, hep me carry pushchairs etc.

But then, I find old ladies are FANTASTIC at putting up with all manner of chattery nonsense on the bus, so swings and roundabouts.

because men are more confident in their physical ability to actually help perhaps?

i have helped on occassion when two hands would clearly be better than one but often i figure most mums know better than me how to fold their own buggy and i'm not sure that i know when someone is 'struggling' and when they're fine.