Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a bit peeved that DD aged 4 has been told at school that FC does not exist?

92 replies

geisha · 16/12/2008 19:04

She was told by a class mate who is a Jehovah's Witness? Whilst I undertand and respect the belief of the JW class mate, I feel a bit that she told my DD this. I don't know how JW families address the Christmas issue with their children?..... I do appreciate that even if the class mate's mum had asked her to be a bit discrete with the other children about the FC issue, the child may find this difficult as you do tend to say it as you see it at 4! I explained to DD that FC comes to all children who believe in him and celebrate Christmas but she is a bit suspicious which I think is a shame at 5! DD is very clear that the aforementioned child does not celebrate Christmas and that has been mentioned several times but the fact that FC doesn't exist? Actually I probably am BU but I think it's a shame!

OP posts:
Gorionine · 16/12/2008 20:24

But it is ok for JW culture to be challenged if it suits you though.

FairyMum · 16/12/2008 20:24

"You were obviously never a believer FairyMum so you will never know the absolute joy of it!"

Oh come on. The way you people talk its like YOU still believe in FC. FC is not part of our belief system as if we were talking about God. And by the way, he does not exist either

fishie · 16/12/2008 20:24

i still had a stocking till i was about 15. i think it is a completely delightful thing to do (and i have a much younger sister so my parents were being fc for a longer time than usual anyway)

themulledmanneredjanitor · 16/12/2008 20:25

this argument is getting really tedious.

Original poster
geisha · 16/12/2008 20:26

Shouldn't they be equal FaZ?

OP posts:
fruitstick · 16/12/2008 20:27

As a dyed in the wool agnostic I do have to say that I am little confused by this thread.

Isn't Christmas about the little baby Jesus?

Father Christmas is a lovely part of Christmas but it is hardly challenging the belief systems of others to claim he does not exist.

Surely it's important for children to learn that lots of people believe lots of different things. If the child was Jewish and said that Jesus didn't exist would that also be wrong, or would it be disrespecting her culture to make her pretend that he did (not that I'm saying he doesn't .

I'm tying myself in knots here .... see that's my problem with organised belief systems!

Cadelaide · 16/12/2008 20:28

hohoho

popperdoodles · 16/12/2008 20:29

My 6 year old ds has a plythmouth bretheren (I think that's what they are called, sorry ) in his class and she has told ds FC is not real. It wasn't a big deal. We just said that they don't celebrate christmas and that their mummy and daddy had asked FC not to visit. Belief restored, no problem. My 9 year old still believes despite being told by half is class that it's not true. Maybe he is just pretending for us, but does it matter? He's joining in the fun with his 2 younger brothers. YANBU to be a little upset but I think the belief can be easily restored at this age.

piscesmoon · 16/12/2008 20:30

FC was part of my childhood FairyMum, I was given the magic, and although I found out the truth at 6yrs old(being the nosy sort), it is something that can't be taken away. I can still remember the excitement of it all. It was part of a loving, secure childhood that makes me feel strong as an adult.

Gorionine · 16/12/2008 20:30

I am tying myslf in knots too trying to keep up on 2 threads about Christmas. Very, very hard.

GrimmaTheNome · 16/12/2008 20:31

My DD was told by a Hindu friend that FC wasn't real when she was 5. She decided to carry on 'believing' for another year anyway. The really curious part is that DD has never believed there is a god, and told another friend as much at about the same age. So quite how she managed to believe in FC at all rather eludes me! I think kids manage a range of views from their peers quite happily - take it or leave it. (DD was rather that ALL her teachers did seem to believe in god )

Gorionine · 16/12/2008 20:32

I like your approach popperdoodles ultimately the responsability of keeping the belief surely is the parents, not the whole wide world.

lisad123 · 16/12/2008 20:35

well as a JW with a 5 year old at school this has been intresting reading. DD1 knows SC is not real, she also knows that others do believe. I have told her that everyone believes different things and not the same as us. I am not going to ban her from talking about what we believe but at the same time she has been told it might make someone sad if they are told SC isnt real. I cannot control everything dd1 says to her little friends and i wouldnt want to.
Her teacher commented that dd1 knows quite a lot about own beliefs and knows when she cant do something.
Sorry I do understand that you might be upset that your dd might have been told this, but tbh i think she'll live and more than likely will believe you anyways

piscesmoon · 16/12/2008 20:37

Since they learn about other religions from an early age it is easy to talk about Hanukkah, Eid etc; or even that different countries have different traditions e.g St Nicholas doesn't come on December 6th in this country-so of course not everyone has FC.

Gorionine · 16/12/2008 20:40

Lisa123, are there any JW festivals?

Gorionine · 16/12/2008 20:40

Lisa123, are there any JW festivals?

popperdoodles · 16/12/2008 20:40

father christmas only comes to those who believe in him. If you don't believe he doesn't come and then you just get presents from family and friends. I will selfishly admit that I enjoy the whole father christmas thing and want to keep it going as long as possible. Youngest ds is 2 so fingers crossed I've got many more years of FC to come.

Original poster
geisha · 16/12/2008 20:41

lisad123 - thanks for your post. It is good to get your perspective which seems very reasonable and considerate.

OP posts:
edam · 16/12/2008 20:41

Gorionine - I think you may have the wrong end of the stick.
I wasn't attacking Jehovah's Witnessdom - merely saying that these particular parents could have been a bit more thoughtful. No-one is obliged to celebrate Christmas or believe anything but it's a bit unfair to spoil it for the majority of children who do believe in Father Christmas.

I dunno, hadn't thought about it as a JW thing, just a 'if you don't do FC, please be tactful about it' issue. It's hardly news to anyone in this country that most people do celebrate Christmas and for most families that includes Father Christmas.

(Must go off and interrogate dh. His cousins are JWs - wonder whether it ever became an issue for the parents when both sets of children were growing up.)

lisad123 · 16/12/2008 20:43

JW do memorial (passover) in the spring to show respect and rememeber jesus's last meal. We generally make a big deal of wedding anniversaries and births, and quite a few of us have present day for our children

Gorionine · 16/12/2008 20:45

When Edam? (not having a go ) I just cannot remenber in what post I might hasve got the end of the stick (which I probably have)?

seeker · 16/12/2008 20:46

What I don't understand is why people think there isn't any Christmas magic once they stop believing in Father Christmas! I don't believe, for example, and Christmas is still full of magic and wonder!

piscesmoon · 16/12/2008 20:49

It is still full of wonder and magic for me but it doesn't quite match up to really thinking you might have a reindeer on your roof!

Gorionine · 16/12/2008 20:50

Thank you Lisa, although you might have destroyed this myth that JW are "kill joy". I did not know about your celebrations at all. You celebrate birth on the day or do you have birthdays as well? (excuse my ignorance please, + I would really not find it shocking if you did not celebrate birthdays).

themulledmanneredjanitor · 16/12/2008 21:01

no-jw's do not celebrate birthdays. interesting though that they make a deal of births when birthdays are verboten.

lisa-you have 'present day'?
how does that work then?