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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be annoyed at sexist remarks towards me from WOMEN?

73 replies

SmilePlease · 16/12/2008 15:47

This has been playing on my mind for some time... didn't really know where to place it... so i'll cut a long story short.

I work for the local government (temporarily) and have discovered myself in an office containing 3 religious women and one quiet man that tries to exclude himself from the team.

I also come from a religious background but i'd never dare try and inflict my views on somebody else... it's just wrong isn't it? However not only do they quote things from the bible 24/7 they have made snide remarks about me wearing trousers because women shouldn't and one claimed that women should 'no their place'.

I told the one who had said it to me to shut up as she had no right to say such a thing and went on to say she's nothing special and i'm sure God would be ashamed of her to penalise me in such a way. She looked very bewildered and muttered that she knows her right from wrong. I didn't reply.

Should i make a complaint even if i am going to be at this placement for a short while?

OP posts:

HeadFairy · 16/12/2008 17:23

Well in that case, there's your answer, they're nutters. Do not give in to them. They probably go round lynching gay people at the weekends too.

TheCrackFox · 16/12/2008 17:28

Smileplease, my mum still works and my dad is retired and he does all of the housework. My mum went to a convent school in the 1950s and they made sure all the girls left with good exams and able to support themselves financially if needs be. My mum has no time for all that "women know your place" bullshit.

I think they are using their religion as an excuse to be horrible to you.

Original poster

SmilePlease · 16/12/2008 17:57

Hmmm. But i don't understand why they would want to do such things to me out of spite.

Anyway there is some cruel hearted people out there, i think should learn to be so shocked.

OP posts:

Original poster

SmilePlease · 16/12/2008 18:00

not to be so shocked, i meant to say.

OP posts:

MichaelaS · 17/12/2008 14:23

hmmm, have they tried to get you to go to church at all? Maybe they're being nasty because they feel they have failed in their conversion attempts.

Or, more likely, that having someone with common sense in the office is de-railing their mad ideas.

But be careful, not all "traditionally Christian" beliefs are actually that mad - make sure you make your own mind up based on facts and not popular science. (e.g. creationism is generally ridiculed, but most people don't realise that the Earth isn't old enough for evolution to explain the complexity and number of species we have given the observed rate of mutation. Even Darwin knew about this problem with his theory).

georgiemum · 17/12/2008 14:28

Where on earth are you working?

dilemma456 · 17/12/2008 16:09

Message withdrawn

MichaelaS · 17/12/2008 16:32

horror - the women were allowed education! surely your mother should have been married off at puberty and producing at least 1 child a year after that!?!?

PingpingsatonSantasface · 17/12/2008 16:56

I am Catholic and I have never heard of this. I think its in regards to men and women having Sex changes Transexuals etc rather than what clothes you wear.

RubyRioja · 17/12/2008 17:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Zebraa · 17/12/2008 17:15

I don't think the "know your place" comments are any reflection of their religion, just simple ignornace. They sound like hideous, bitter women who are 100 years behind.

I suggest you ignore them in the solice that you're happy and their comments are just a cover for how they really feel about themselves.

I wouldn't give them the time of day. Actually, know myself, I'd have told each of them to get f*cked - if I'm honest.

They shouldn't be judging, tis a sin after all.

Ignore them

Zebraa · 17/12/2008 17:16

Sorry that actually makes little sense.

mysterymoniker · 17/12/2008 17:23

yanbu

these people really take the fun out of fundamentalism

am catholic (well, from catholic family) and have never heard such bollocks

Original poster

SmilePlease · 17/12/2008 18:07

Have looked at the HR syllabus of bullying.

It looks like a very long progress and i think it will take longer than what i'm willing to stay at this job. However, i don't want anyone else to be subjected to this and i want them to be punished for their crimes.

What do people think of an anonymous letter reporting them?

It's the only thing i can think of, anyone have any other suggestions?

My idea doesn't sound to great and i'm not sure they would take it seriously.

OP posts:

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 17/12/2008 18:28

I think the letter is a v. bad idea but this does need to be brought to the attention of the management. If they are in a managerial position over you then go higher. If you are unsure the employment boards have loads of helpful advice.

tbh I think you will need to stand up to them ( not rudely, don't give them any amo) but firmly state it is not something you wish to discuss and whilst they have their beliefs you are more than entitled to yours and you do not wish to discuss them in the workplace, If they wish to take this further tell them to take it to the management who have no problem with your attire!

Please please [lease don't be bullied into wearing a skirt...... what have women fought for for the past 100 years and more.....

onepieceofbrusselssprout · 17/12/2008 19:21

SmilePlease thank you for your kind comments higher up the thread. Yes, I do wear what I want now, in fact I left home (unsurprisingly) at quite a young age...not wearing trousers was one of the more "sensible" rules that my father enforced. He chooses not to stay in contact with me now.

Good luck with whatever you decide. Just keep your dignity and be above reproach if that makes sense. Don't be tempted to lower yourself to their level of personal or judgmental comments (I am sure you wouldn't)

Original poster

SmilePlease · 17/12/2008 21:15

I am very happy to hear that you managed to break free from your father's restrictions. It's nice to hear a (sort of) happy story for a change.

Thanks for the advise, which i promise i shall put into practise, i feel more at ease now because this is not the worst thing in the world, there are worst situations (like yours) and for that i am truly grateful.

OP posts:

poinsettydog · 17/12/2008 21:24

what fresh freakery is this

DaidiNaNollag · 17/12/2008 22:04

They sound like my MIL. She is catholic but also mad and unfortunately for the reputation of the catholic church, she uses religion to justify her madness.

blueshoes · 17/12/2008 22:41

I'm with georgiemum - where are you working. And where do they find them - all 3 with the same weirdy views in the same department? Need to look into the HR hiring procedures. Were these jobs advertised?

poinsettydog · 17/12/2008 22:46

It all sounds completely unbelievable

ManIFeelLikeAWoman · 18/12/2008 00:04

"It's a bit bizarre and hard to believe tbh in local govt- they aren't known as hotbeds of religious radicalism." Bitoffun - you're not FROM SE London, are you?

I had to complain to my manager only the other week because some fickwut turned up for a "dress-down day" in a T-shirt saying, "BELIEVE in God!" Other people have selectionsfrom the psalms on a slide show as their screen-saver. I really don't feel I should be subjected to this tosh in a secular workplace.

Luckily policy is that you can't wear any slogans, so it was sorted with minimum of feather ruffling.

BitOfFunUnderTheMistletoe · 18/12/2008 00:16

Lol, perhaps I am out of the loop oop north then!

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