To think that independant schools should not fundraise when the kids ahve so much more to start with?

[islandofsodor]

So far this term we have been asked to buy wildly expensive Chritmas cards designed by our children, contribute a jar to the Christmas fayre, take in bags of stuff to be sold by a psudo charity and collect Morrisons/Sainsbury's whetever vouchers and send in a donation towards the swimming pool refurbishment.

The parents association is always organising something. Now I don;t mind the 2nd hand uniform shop as that helps parents out who may struggle to afford the uniform but I always take my supermarket voucehrs in to another local primary school.

AIBU?

??

Very few independent schools have 'everything' they need! It's not cheap to run a school. Do you honestly think your fees cover everything????!!!

Mind boggles at the thought of not giving your supermarket vouchers to your children's school. We have already been giving our vouchers to the school we want to send DS to, and he won't be going there for a few years yet!

We had been giving them to another school for years before dd started at her school. I feel they need them more than dd's school do.

Why don't you send your children to state school then? After all, you are depriving the school your child would be at of the funding her attendance would bring.

They had no places at nursery and I don't want her to do SATS.

Hello, OP: I may be the only one who doesn't think YABU. Or if you are, I am too.

My Oxford college keeps sending me stuff about its plight. Come on - it's one of the biggest landowners in the UK.

It's that I often hate what ds's schools spend the money on - biiiig buildings, huuuuge sports facilities. What I'd like to see is more bursaries and more teachers. That's what I think I'm paying for. Why I'm paying at all. Edeucation, education, education. Not a chance to play fifty different kinds of sport.

Personally I think a lot of the fundraising that PTAs, in state schools as well as independents do, is for the benefit of the parents rather than the children. Certainly in my ds's state primary school, the PTA are constantly having fund-raising events. Having been on the PTA committee, it's good fun to organise them (although alcohol at the meetings would be a big improvement) and it's quite social but to be honest, they're not really needed. The facilities at the school are pretty good and the vast majority of the children need for nothing. I could understand it if it was a run-down school in a poor area but it isn't and tbh in most of these schools I would imagine that there isn't the same PTA involvement as there is here.

Island I am sorry that my earlier comments were sharp but can you not see how incongrous your reactions are?

You want her to attend the school of your choice because you like their ethos and you don't like sats but you then complain about the manner in which they provide that type of schooling.

You may not be enchanted by the white boards and fantastic facilities etc but the other fee paying parents may well be and if the facilities are not up to scratch then parents will frankly go elsewhere. That means your school will close.

They are trying to keep your school afloat but you don't want to help them.You admire the way the school operates and yet you choose not to support them. It seems very odd tbh.
You want a private school yet you are being a bit sniffy about the trappings of that school as if all that fancy stuff is not what you really want. You are their for the 'ethos'.

It just reminds me a bit of my elder brother who only really bought playboy for the articles.

I would rather give my money to children who really need it, either in the 3rd world or to one of the children's charities here.

Ours has a separate fundraising arm specifically for bursaries and large projects. PA funds extra bits and pieces for existing facilities like floodlighting. You can choose to contribute to one and/or other or not.

I understand what you are saying. It's just I have very very little spare money ledt (my choice I know I'm not after sympathy) and I feel I should support those really in need rather than those who already have everything.

I try and instill in dd that she is incredibly lucky and should try and help those less fortunate by doing things like buying Oxfam Unwrapped presents instead of other stuff etc.

I also try and shield her though from the fact that we are a lot less well off than the majority of her classmates so maybe that is hypocritical.

I am sure that you could do that if you wanted to bogwabbit-just say that you are very sorry not to help the school but that is your preferred way. In my experience schools do both, and there have been outraged post on here when posters have been 'forced' to give to Barnados. I think some people want to be an island and do their own thing, but they all get the advantage of other people working together.

YABU. Give what you can afford and don't grumble. That is entirely reasonable.

But if you don't support the school's fundraising ethos, choose another school.

but island these extras are all optional. You actually don't have to do any of them.

If you can't afford them then just don't do them.
But I think that is different from objecting to the school trying to raise funds.

ps, went to an independent school and we used to take in our own loo roll. We weren't formally advised to do this, we just knew it was a good idea !! We had less than the state school nearby really, but we all accepted that. What you get at an indpendent school is different.

ROFL at Liffeys loo roll

My dd once stuffed a whole loo roll down the nursery toilet. They then had to call out someone from the company I work for (as we held the service contract for the school) to unblock it. Embarrasing or what.

Am I correct in thinking the m ajority on this thread are indy parents. it would be interesting to hear what parents of children in state schools think of the morality of fundraising for already priveleged children.

I don't admit to people in real life that my children go to an indy school in case they think I am a snob.

Of course I could give to other charities and I do. I also have nothing against PTAs raising money for their schools. I was just making an observation that it's often more for the benefit of the parents, in particular the PTA commitee, than because there is any 'real' need.
AS for the school raising money for other charities, yes they do, the school that is and the children too, who often do fund raising off their own bats. However, the PTA, or so I was told, is forbidden by its own constitution from raising money for anything other than the school it is affiliated to.

True I think bogwobbit. The external fundraising things the dc's school does like Malawi etc is not done through the PTA. They do the expensive arty photos and Christmas cards and things which is for the school.

my DCs at state school, i went to independent secondary

island
you clearly have issues about the school you have chosen for your DD and frankly I think that is sad.

Two of my children go to independent schools and one goes to state school. I contribute to them equally.

I love my childrens schools. They are all getting a great education. they are all great caring people.Frankly if I were too embarressed to tell people which school my child went to then I would move them.

Exactly what pagwatch said. I can't believe anyone would actually feel too ashamed to admit that they had chosen to send their child to a private school. If that's how you feel, why send them? If you believe it is the best school for your child, why feel ashamed? Who cares if random people think you are a snob, based on their own inverted snobbish opinions of private education? Why does this matter to you?

Very very strange.

I don't have issues with the school. I love the school but I do feel they don;t need to be fundraised for.

When you live in a working class city it doesn;t always do to let people know you have something more than they do. I don't want to come across like I'm better than you or my kids have this which yours don;t.

My own family were dead set against me sending the dc as they said it was only for posh people. That is rubbish most parents there are perfectly pordinary hard working people (not that non indy parents don;t work hard of course, don;t want to get ino THAT argument!!!)

I am not getting drawn into PTA threads again, I really wish people could see what happens when PTAs are not active!

I find it mildly amusing that DCs at independent schools are supposed to have everything and that those who use the state system are needy! The state schools in my area are very good, my DS have been on skiing trips, to Russia, done French exchanges, played musical instruments, gone to art galleries etc etc. all with the school(comprehensive). I have chosen to do it this way and have the money to pay for the extras. If the schools were bad then I would have tried to scrape enough money for school fees, and then we really would have been hard up and needed the fund raising!

surely denying your DCs go there will only cause more issues if people do find out? hididng it makes it more of a guilty snobby secret