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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that the correct response to someone saying "Your f***ing dog just bit me" is not....

101 replies

AnarchyInAManger · 11/12/2008 19:07

"Well sorry love but you want to watch your language" ???

Was walking through the park to fetch DD from school today. I walked past a man walking an alsatian on a lead, it growled and jumped up at me, he yanked it down, then it lunged forward and bit my thigh twice. I was wearing thick tights and a skirt over jeans, and it has still left bruises on my leg.

The man just carried on walking so I called after him. OK, the 'fucking' was unnecessary but I was so shocked and shaken, it just slipped out. He proceeded to tell me off for swearing and said I 'must have smelled of something that set her off' , 'didn't appear to be in agony', and 'need to get over it'.

I just walked past! Even when it growled ad jumped I just carried on walking - I am used to dogs (DP has a mahoosive alsatian/newfoundland cross), confident with them and not at all scared of them.

It would have drawn blood on a child's face. I shudder to think.... and I was too shocked and angry at his reaction to take a photo of them. I was just shaking and almost in tears, not so much from the dog itself as sheer rage at the way he spoke to me.

OP posts:
Desiderata · 11/12/2008 21:16

I still say it was the tights ...

Original poster
AnarchyInAManger · 11/12/2008 21:20

I didn't make out I was in agony though

I said his dog (ok his fucking dog) had bitten me - statement of fact.

I said it could have done serious harm to a child's face - statement of fact.

He just blustered on about how I must smell funny and how it had never bitten his kids and how ridiculous I was being.

I just felt he didn't deal with it appropriately - no consequence of any kind for the dog, no real apology to me, no recognition of how serious it could have been.

OP posts:
Original poster
AnarchyInAManger · 11/12/2008 21:21

Desi - the tights were under the jeans and skirt

OP posts:
beanieb · 11/12/2008 21:24

dittany - I took great care to make sure my post was in no way judgy, and as I said I was just trying to look at the situation as a whole and think about how and why it escalated.

dittany · 11/12/2008 21:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Desiderata · 11/12/2008 21:31

Seriously though, the owner is completely out of order. I take your initial point that you're not remotely frightened of dogs, so my reckoning is that the dog in question is out of control.

They generally bite those who fear them, not those who know they're the dominant species.

Just out of interest, were you wearing anything black and shiny? I used to be a post lady years ago, and our standard uniform for wet weather was a black, shiny raincoat. The normally placid Alsation at a regular delivery would always go to bite me whenever I wore it.

Original poster
AnarchyInAManger · 11/12/2008 21:34

Look, I didn't personally attack him. I didn't say, "You stupid fucking irresponsible fucktard, how dare you take a nasty vicious fucking dog like that out in the park you fucking fuck".

Even if I had, I'd still think he had no business picking at the language of someone who had just been bitten by his dog.

Yeah, a swearword slipped out of my mouth - when you stub your toe, do you never swear? It was the first thing that came out of my mouth and tbh I think it was fairly restrained considering. It was said out of shock.

OP posts:
minouminou · 11/12/2008 21:35

You smelt funny?
Right.
Whatever.
He must be aware of the laws around dogs biting - this is not a responsible dog owner.

CatIsSleepy · 11/12/2008 21:35

well i'd have been swearing too

sounds like he responded defensively because he knew he was in the wrong

'smelled funny' ? silly sod

Original poster
AnarchyInAManger · 11/12/2008 21:36

No I was wearing blue jeans and a short purple velvet skirt. And a grey hoodie.

OP posts:
Desiderata · 11/12/2008 21:45

Aha! It was the hoody

minouminou · 11/12/2008 21:48

and the short skirt
maybe the dog reads the Daily Mail.

Desiderata · 11/12/2008 21:48

One of my jobs involves cleaning a rather expensive doggy 'hotel.'

I have been bitten three times in four years, and on all three occasions, my bosses have called the owners and told them that they will not be welcome again.

I love dogs, but biting dogs, if they continue, need to be put down. A child wouldn't stand a chance against an aggressive Alsation ... although most Alsations are very, very lovely.

Original poster
AnarchyInAManger · 11/12/2008 21:50

Desi - that was partly why I was so surprised, because I am really confident with dogs. We have one here half the time, a big male one with bollocks that needs really firm handling. Not because he is at all bitey/snappy/arsey but because he needs constant reminding of who is boss and where his place is - ie at the very bottom.

I have always told DD the best way to be safe with dogs is to be calm and confident, not to flap and squeal, to ask before touching etc etc.

DP was saying had his dog ever done anything like that (though I very much doubt it ever would) he would've pushed it down to the floor immediately to assert his (DP's) position over it as pack leader, told it v v firmly "no" then ignored it completely for a good while.

OP posts:
Original poster
AnarchyInAManger · 11/12/2008 21:53

Yes I need some slacks and a tweed jacket like a proper doggy person [life over emoticon]

OP posts:
GoodWilfToAllMN · 11/12/2008 21:55

rofling at the firm handling of a dog's bollocks...

You deffo should have decked him. Twice. Once for objecting to you swearing and all over again with knobs on for the smell comment.

Desiderata · 11/12/2008 21:56

I can absolutely empathise with your point of view, Anarchy. I suspect the owner is the problem, as always. Alsations are generally speaking rather nice, gentle animals unless they've been trained to be otherwise.

Like you, I'm not remotely frightened of dogs. I don't honestly believe I'd lose my nerve if a pack of Rotweillers or Dobermans or bloody Wolves came at me. I know I'm the dominant species, and that counts for a lot.

So, when a dog bites you like that, it comes as a shock. I'm not a one for hysterical reactions, but I think you need to report this fella for his attitude.

I just hope the dog gets rehomed, rather than put down.

TheSmallClanger · 11/12/2008 22:00

I'm usually the pro-dog voice on here, but the bloke sounds like a completely irresponsible idiot who was not in control of a dog. Report the incident to the Dog Warden at your local council, and to the police if they'll listen.

Original poster
AnarchyInAManger · 11/12/2008 22:04

I try very very hard not to handle the dogs bollocks [boak]

It was a beautiful dog as well - would be so so sad if it ended up really hurting someone and being put down. I have such a huge issue with young men who have these animals as little more than a status symbol

'Our' dog really is part of our pack - he has his place, his bed on the floor, his meals after ours - and he is just lovely because he knows where he stands. Dogs that are allowed to take the lead just get insecure and confused and end up biting people and it is just so sad.

OP posts:
Desiderata · 11/12/2008 22:07

That's so true, Anarchy. They're pack animals who love knowing their place. A confused dog is the product of a confused owner.

Most dog homes won't put big dogs with tattoed fuck-wits. It's a shame that the free-market can't do the same!

Original poster
AnarchyInAManger · 11/12/2008 22:16

Ah now I never said he had tattoos! He had what I call 'friday night hair' and a nice shirt on a damp thursday in the park

Some people just need to get their heads round the idea that its a dog - a real live animal that, you know, does stuff. Its not a penis personality extension. It needs attention and discipline and a place in the pack for the rest of its life, not just food and walking.

OP posts:
TheSmallClanger · 11/12/2008 22:38

Anarchy, you sound like a great dog person, tweed or not.
We used to joke that my dog was senior only to the hoover, which he hated and used to bark at.

Original poster
AnarchyInAManger · 12/12/2008 09:44

Put a picture of my thigh on profile - its a fairly faint bruise but still quite sore. Just awful to think what it could have done to a child's face though - that was through three layers ok thick clothing.

OP posts:
wannaBe · 12/12/2008 09:53

the only thing I would say about swearing is that it lowers you to his level.

But while with hindsight it would have been preferable to go up to him and say, "Your dog has bitten me, you ought to muzzle it when it's out," the reality is that when you're put in that situation you don't exactly have the time/inclination to think up a measured response.

Dog owners like him are what give dog owners a bad name.

Read a piece in the press recently about a woman pushing a baby in his pram and two staffies attacked her. She pushed the pram over so they could not get to the baby, but she was badly mauled, to the point she was lying on the ground. The owner came over, put the dogs on leads, and walked off.

BouncingTinsel · 12/12/2008 09:55

Ouch!! Poor you!
Hope you get some joy with the police and they find this idiot dog owner.
And you do NOT need to justify why you swore, I bet the Pope himself would be hard pressed not to let a naughty word slip if he has just been bitten on the leg!