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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that the correct response to someone saying "Your f***ing dog just bit me" is not....

101 replies

AnarchyInAManger · 11/12/2008 19:07

"Well sorry love but you want to watch your language" ???

Was walking through the park to fetch DD from school today. I walked past a man walking an alsatian on a lead, it growled and jumped up at me, he yanked it down, then it lunged forward and bit my thigh twice. I was wearing thick tights and a skirt over jeans, and it has still left bruises on my leg.

The man just carried on walking so I called after him. OK, the 'fucking' was unnecessary but I was so shocked and shaken, it just slipped out. He proceeded to tell me off for swearing and said I 'must have smelled of something that set her off' , 'didn't appear to be in agony', and 'need to get over it'.

I just walked past! Even when it growled ad jumped I just carried on walking - I am used to dogs (DP has a mahoosive alsatian/newfoundland cross), confident with them and not at all scared of them.

It would have drawn blood on a child's face. I shudder to think.... and I was too shocked and angry at his reaction to take a photo of them. I was just shaking and almost in tears, not so much from the dog itself as sheer rage at the way he spoke to me.

OP posts:
nooka · 11/12/2008 20:13

Swearing is never a good idea, but his behaviour was inexcusable. You are lucky that you were wearing so many clothes. Sounds very scary. I hope the police are friendly!

dittany · 11/12/2008 20:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kerala · 11/12/2008 20:19

Are you sure the dog was not just being friendly? That seems to be the response of most owners of vile dogs....

matildax · 11/12/2008 20:20

georgimama....... what exactly should she have said then??????

i am sure if it was me, i would have said a lot lot worse!!

the fact she got bitten is dreadful, lets just hope the police can track the man and dog down, like other posters have said it could cause much greater injury next time.

GoodWilfToAllMN · 11/12/2008 20:26

are you quite mad, georgimama?

Original poster
AnarchyInAManger · 11/12/2008 20:29

The police are sending someone to see my thigh tomorrow

At least he didn't try to tell me it was being friendly, this is true. But he did make out it was my fault in some way - walking aggresively maybe? Doing the schoolrun with intent? Smelling strange? I dunno...

As for the swearing, well I'd ever normally do that to a stranger in the park. But I had just been bitten, and also I didn't swear at him, just about his dog IYSWIM? As DP has just said, the last thing the man should've been doing was admonishing me for my language really.

OP posts:
LittleJingleBellas · 11/12/2008 20:29

Unless you never ever ever swear ever at all, I would say that this is one situation where the expletives would be let rip. She didn't "set the whole situation up for conflict". His bloody dog did. And instead of acknowledging it, he decided to focus on her language as that way, he could make the issue about the language she used instead of the cause of the conflict - his out of control dog. A dog owner like that, would always find a way to shirk responsibility for his dog's behaviour, this time the OP gave him the golden opportunity in the shape of the fucking expletive, but if she'd said politely "excuse me, your dog has just bitten me and I'm ever so slightly concerned about it", he would have found another reason to avoid the issue. "Oh, you're wearing a red scarf, he always reacts badly to that, sorry" "well what d'you expect, you were walking" or some such.

A responsible dog owner would have excused the language, because they would have understood the provocation. And they would have understood that they are in the wrong, however many fucks came out of the mouth of the bitee.

lizandlulu · 11/12/2008 20:31

yanbu, imo most people would have done/said the same

georgimama · 11/12/2008 20:33

Um, no,I'm not at all mad.

What should she have said?

How about justleaving out the word "fucking" which is a charming thing to shout in a park. Obviously the swearing part is a bit irrelevant in view of the fact the dog was chowing down on the OP's thigh, but there's no point, or need, to shout words like that at strangers. It hardly helps you achieve the moral high ground, as demonstrated by the fact that rubbish dog owner instantly focussed on her language rather than his mental dog.

LiliAnjelika · 11/12/2008 20:35

My little girl was floored in a playground by a staff bull terrier the other day (not on a lead). A middle aged woman came running over and explained that she was just trying to train her dog not to jump chdn! (shock) My friend went mental and may have even cussed. I have to say I thought my friend's outburst was glorious and utterly appropriate. It put the willies up the woman, which was just what was required. I informed police, contacted local councillor etc, and am still in a rage and trying to do something about it. Georgimama - the type of person who is that irresposible with dogs is not going to respond any better to the queen's english. They're just fxxxxxxn scum!

Desiderata · 11/12/2008 20:35

Sue! Sue!

Original poster
AnarchyInAManger · 11/12/2008 20:38

TBH his reaction makes me think it was not the first time his dog had bitten someone. He was not shocked or surprised at all - just ignored it at first, then instantly defensive and patronisingly rude.

For a dog on a lead to just bite a passer-by is really really crap. Its not even as if the 'excuses' of overexcitement/victim's behaviour can be trotted out. It just bit me as I walked past, then stood there whilst its owner berated me.

OP posts:
georgimama · 11/12/2008 20:39

Not much point suing if it didn't do any actual damage, you won't get more than £1,000 and so you won't get your legal costs paid, and if he hasn't got insurance for the dog there's no point anyway. You could try the CICA who deal with claims arising from criminal injuries which includes mad dogs but only if they turn out to have previous history.

minouminou · 11/12/2008 20:40

I'm a dog lover - I wouldn't have noticed you swearing, I'd have been more concerned with the state of your leg.
Keep a camera phone handy and dob the fucker in. That is appalling.

Lizzylou · 11/12/2008 20:41

If someone's dog was chomping at my thigh, I don't think I would have the self control to not swear, regardless of who may be near.
I am scared of dogs anyway, but to be bitten and then told off for my language! FFS!!!

Original poster
AnarchyInAManger · 11/12/2008 20:43

Sue? Pffffff. Not my thing really.

He is obviously a crap dog owner. He just gave his dog the message that the dog is in charge, that he will follow the dog's lead in directing aggression, and that biting people in a park has no consequence whatsoever.

I'm going to look out for him and get a photo if i see him again - had a camera phone on me but just didn't think to get a picture.

OP posts:
LiliAnjelika · 11/12/2008 20:45

Is there you can squirt at mental dogs - some kind of tear gas/ CS gas type thing. Or maybe we should just tasor the fxxxxers.

beanieb · 11/12/2008 20:47

were you in agony?

Desiderata · 11/12/2008 20:50

I was being sarcastic

Original poster
AnarchyInAManger · 11/12/2008 20:51

No, not in agony. It did hurt though.

But surely is beside the point?

OP posts:
lingle · 11/12/2008 21:01

ROFL.

beanieb · 11/12/2008 21:06

Well, maybe he was truly offended by the swearing? Perhaps he really thought you were not in as much agony as perhaps you were making out?

He should have made sure you were ok, and apologised about the dog of course, but perhaps he just reacted badly to your response (however justified you feel it was)and so didn't think it was worth making the effort to be nice.

I'm not defending him or you but just trying to see how the whole thing might have been avoided or at least how it could have been stopped instead of escalated. If that makes sense?

dittany · 11/12/2008 21:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LittleJingleBellas · 11/12/2008 21:12

I don't think the onus is on the dog bitten human not to escalate the situation. I think the onus is on the unbitten dog-owner.

dittany · 11/12/2008 21:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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