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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that if you're just going to be sat at home on your arse doing nothing

35 replies

LilMatchGirlInVictorianSqualor · 11/12/2008 11:06

when your child is doing their FIRST nativity play and you live less than a minute from the school that you should go and watch them?

OP posts:
mustsleep · 11/12/2008 11:07

maybe she doesn't know about it

needmorecoffee · 11/12/2008 11:08

maybe they hate plays. dd's first is tomorrow and I'm dreading sitting among Boden clad mummies as the mother of the only wheelchair child. Its horribly uncomfortable.

laweaselmys · 11/12/2008 11:09

how do you know they'll be doing nothing? (wondering if you are complaining about someone's dp here...)

TeenyTinyTorya · 11/12/2008 11:13

You shouldn't feel uncomfortable, needmorecoffee - you have every right to be just as proud as all other mums.

Original poster
LilMatchGirlInVictorianSqualor · 11/12/2008 11:15

They know it's happening, I heard the two children talking to their Dad about it this morning.
Also, you couldn't miss all the kids walking past this morning in their nativity outifts.
There are four adults that could have gone. Mother, father, sister and sister's bf. All grown adults that are at home all day, every day.
The two youngest children are in foundation stage and doing their nativity this morning but no-one was there for them.
It makes me that they have to watch everyone else's parents come and know no-one has bothered for them.

OP posts:
needmorecoffee · 11/12/2008 11:16

I know, but they made me uncomfortable at a recent party. They are all neat and well off (its a school on a posh estate) and I'm not. dd got a place in the resource base for disabled children but is fully included in the classroom, so we are 3 miles away. Not from that area.
The party was awful, their kids talk about dd like she can speak and move cos 4 yo's are pretty egalitarian. When the mums saw dd they all made cat bum faces.
Maybe the OP's person feels like that and can't face it?

TeenyTinyTorya · 11/12/2008 11:22

Eurgh, I can't stand people like that, needmorecoffee. At least children don't tend to have the same sort of prejudices and attitudes that adults do. Maybe drop some fliers for this theatre company next time you're at a school show, and see what they say

I understand the whole left out feeling though - I didn't go to toddler group yesterday because I'm just so out of place and I can't be bothered with it any more. It's a bit of a shame for the kids, but understandable perhaps.

Original poster
LilMatchGirlInVictorianSqualor · 11/12/2008 11:22

Thankfully our school isn't like that nmc. Sorry yours is, but there are people from all walks of life at our school, including other parents I know they talk to and even if they did feel slightly uncomfortable it should be about the children, not them.

OP posts:
sunnygirl1412 · 11/12/2008 11:22

But you did go to the party, needmorecoffee, and you will be at the play - putting your feelings to one side for the sake of your dd - who is lucky to have you as a mum - you sound wonderful, btw!

Original poster
LilMatchGirlInVictorianSqualor · 11/12/2008 11:32

Exactly sunnygilr, you didn't want to go nmc, but you still did.

OP posts:
needmorecoffee · 11/12/2008 11:35

well, its now moot. dd is screaming her head off. No way she will cope with nativity tomorrow (she just had a feeding tube fitted and got out of hozzie tomorrow)
But I do understand some mums not wanting to go even if it looks like they are sitting on their arses.

Original poster
LilMatchGirlInVictorianSqualor · 11/12/2008 12:23

Not wanting to go and not going are two different things though.
I just don't think it's fair.

Hope DD feels better soon.

OP posts:
tiredsville · 11/12/2008 12:28

YABU. What business is it of yours? How do you know mother is at home sitting on her arse. There maybe a family crisis, urgent hospital appointment and guess what, a job to attend. Nothing worse than being judgemental I say.

tiredsville · 11/12/2008 12:33

YANBU, if you know for a fact arse sitting is going on.

Rookietherednosedreindeer · 11/12/2008 12:37

Do you know this person well ? Are you absolutely sure they aren't ill or have social phobias or are dealing with unpleasant news atm ?

Seems an odd thing to want to comment on.

JumpingJingleBellsDizzy · 11/12/2008 12:45

I forgot about ds2's play and exdh just texted asking what time I'm going to be there He's in year 3 but even so I feel bad.

JumpingJingleBellsDizzy · 11/12/2008 12:45

Oh and I am going by the way.

Original poster
LilMatchGirlInVictorianSqualor · 11/12/2008 15:09

I know them well yes.
There are 4 of them that could go, no family crisis and no job to attend.

OP posts:
needmorecoffee · 11/12/2008 15:10

why don't you just ask?

Original poster
LilMatchGirlInVictorianSqualor · 11/12/2008 15:11

Rookie, why is it odd to comment on?
I feel for the children, I was there watching ds and when the children were speaking to parents after they were just stood there.
Unavoidable if you can't make it, but if you can?

OP posts:
tiredemma · 11/12/2008 15:21

"Nothing worse than being judgemental I say"

I can think of 1000's of things worse than being judgemental.

pagwatch · 11/12/2008 15:34

I can't post. To busy admiring the lil match girl name change. Give us a twirl VS

Original poster
LilMatchGirlInVictorianSqualor · 11/12/2008 15:35
OP posts:
pagwatch · 11/12/2008 15:59

oh it is very you !

It just says Victoriana. It screams squalor.
Perfect.

Original poster
LilMatchGirlInVictorianSqualor · 11/12/2008 16:22

Yes, it is rather, isn't it.
I do like it.

OP posts: