To consider taking my 3 year old dd to these meetings?

[dilemma456]

Message withdrawn

I am furious on your behalf. YANBU

not sure how it can be a disciplinary offense if you can't make a meeting that starts 45 mins before you start work.

fill her nappy with poo as well.

Message withdrawn

Hmm. DW and I have both had occasions on which we have been invited to "unsociable" meetings, both before and after normal "work" hours. We've sorted out the childcare through other parents or family. Just had to.

In your defence I think the whole concept of a "breakfast meeting"is toe-curlingly hideous! Thankfully, I have never worked anywhere which insisted on them. Unfortunately, though, it is your problem and you need to sort it out.

that's terrible. Is there anyone you can speak to who might see sense?

So did you put yourslef forward for this committee?

Or were you pressganged into it?

Do you have an HR dept you can talk to about it? If it was a one-off meeting then that's different but this is in effect a change to your working hours without prior knowledge or agreement.

If they want to make a disciplinary issue out of it I would throw around the phrase 'constructive dismissal', usually scares them!

ask your boss if he'd like your soul as well!
Surely they can make reasoanble adjustments for parents. What does your contract say?

They should obviously have consulted everyone who is on the committee, but would it have made any difference? This is work - these things happen.

I can just imagine the reaction of DW's headteacher if she were to say she couldn't make the pre-school staff meeting at 8.20am on a Monday because our own children's school doesn't open until 8.40am. I have a friend who is an Assistant Head and co-parenting with her XH, and she has to do an enormous amount of "juggling" and dropping children off at various places to be at work for required meetings.

You are being disadvantaged because you are the only one with a child.

Does the company have an equality and diversity policy?

Am very on your behalf!

Are you in a a union? If not then I would suggest joining one pronto!!

I would then write again to the chair, advising him that there is no way you can make these meetings then see what happens. Can you not report this to your boss?

post in "employment issues"
will get lots of good advice.

If your work hours start at 9am, how can they demand you attend any earlier ? Tell them to sod off, you can join them for the meeting at 9am if it is still running.

I am so lucky to be (temporary) out of the working world, I hate how some employers think they own you all the hours of the day and night. I cheerfully worked a lot of unpaid overtime in my last career job, never again.

OP, that stinks,YANBU, and I wish you luck sorting it. Sounds like they are out of order.

The trouble with accepting it, as some suggest you should, is that once you start bending, you never stop. Just stay half an hour later, just come in saturday morning for an hour. You can be reasonable about being flexible, only if they give you ample time to sort childcare etc.

Unquietdad, your DWs pre school meeting is surely part of her required hours though. OP has in effect had her contractual hours changed without notification or her consent!

That's really irritating! However, I don't think you'll really redeem the situation or reclaim the moral high ground by taking your DD with you, however tempting that is! Is there a friend who would have your DD that early? Or could your nursery or childminder make an exception and have her in early on those days? I would go to the first 3 meetings or so, smile very widely and show willing, and then ask if it's possible for someone else to be on the committee instead.

If you have a contract with fixed hours then YANBU, if you have flexi-time and this normally works both ways (e.g. you could leave early to go to a school play) then I think you need to juggle something so you can go, or take it on yourself to reschedule by talking to everyone and booking room etc. PITA I know.

BTW I've been in several work meetings where people have turned up with preschoolers and toys. Most people have been but it's never actually been a problem.

That's outrageous. If you have a union, you must report the threat of disciplinary action. If you don't, you must go to the HR department. That is the only way to prevent that kind of bullying. You have a legally binding contract; while you may - like most of us - do plenty of stuff that is outside the contracted hours and duties, they cannot force you into it, and the threat is in clear breach.

But surely every job contract has the clasic line "you may sometimes be required to work outside these hours if the company sees fit" in? They are not changing the OP's hours permanently, just telling asking her to come in early for some meetings at a really inconvenient time.

I had to take ds into work with me yesterday. He made a small castle out of contact lens solution until my colleague came in at 10 and I could get him to nursery.

Fortunately I have an exceptionally understanding boss (and patients!) and it's not been a problem. But I do think that if you can't find alternative childcare (dh/p or another family member?) then it shouldn't be a problem to take her to the meeting. Will she sit quietly in the corner for an hour with some crayons/pencils and a colouring book?

It's the threat of disciplinary action and lack of notice, though, that take it out of the ordinary ...

Message withdrawn

Am disgusted on your behalf that your chair "forgot" to invite you to the first meeting where you would have been part of the decision-making of the times of the subsequent meetings.

Sounds like he did it on purpose.

Don't see how you COULD take along your daughter, seeing as how you'd have to leave again to take her to nursery - that would disrupt later things happening in the morning, wouldn't it?

I would stand your ground, send an email back saying you have one of two ways of attending the meeting: offering to either attend the early meeting bringing your daughter, or that you will arrive late to the meeting after you've dropped your daugher off. If he has another go, reiterate that your working hours are from 9am (check your contract about working outside these hours), and that it is just not an option to do it his way. Remind him about him forgetting to invite you to the first meeting and I'd also write "I wonder how essential my attendance IS at these meetings seeing as I was overlooked for an invitation to the first one."

And if your organisation bangs on about "family friendly" working practices anywwhere - quote those in the email too.

Breakfast meetings are a completely stupid idea. If the meeting was important enough to hold in the first place, then it's important enough to find time for them as part of the normal working day, surely? Not have to wedge them in somewhere as an afterthought.....

for you.

I second getting yourself in a Union without delay. It would be a sensible precaution if senior staff where you work are in the habit of threatening disciplinaries for this sort of thing. They sound highly unprofessional.