to keep dd1 out of school even though there is nothing wrong with her?

[SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore]

I know i am and I am going to taker her to school even though id much rather be in bed. god knows when we will get to school though.

She wont get ready again and I just cannot be bothered with the fights again this morning. The dog was very ill last night and I have been up the most of the night with her. We thought she was going to die earlier.

the dog needs peace and quiet and dd1 is just not listening to anything I say and is constantly dancing about and letting balloons fly about even though it is scaring the dog. I do not have the energy to deal with her this morning.

So AIBU to seriously consider just sending her back to bed instead of school?

I know you will all say but be gentle i have barely slept for three days now im tired and icky.

send her to her room in a shouty voice.

in future send hr to her room until she gets dressed.

all day.

she is now locked herself in the passage and is attempting to kick the door in. I dont care anymore

I would send her to school. It's worth a half hour of fighting to have a peaceful house until hometime. It sounds like you and your dog need a peaceful day and if your dd is dancing around letting balloons off I don't think that will happen!

Cant do the shouty voice id normally be banshee like by now but shouting will scare the dog which might trigger another seizure (epilepsy) and she is just strating to come around from the last one

How old is she?

I am sure the 'You must take her" brigade will be on soon but I would be very tempted to stay home too. The only thing that would probably galvanise me to action is that I would promise myself I'd spend the time she was imn school resting as much as possible. If the situation allows I's get some sleep etc. That would provably be enough to spur me on to get her ready.

She is sensing your lack of resolve so trying to make the most of it.

Tbh though if it is easier to keep her home then I would - I await the onslaught of those who disagree though.

How old is she?

Surely it would be better for the dog if she is out of the house.

If you make the effort to get her to school you and the dog will get nearly 6 hours of peace. if you keep her off you'll be lucky to get any peace.

I know you are tired but you know getting her to school is best all round.

Just tell her to get dressed quickly or she won't get to watch any tv later or will go to bed early or get something confiscated (whatever normally works)

Good Luck!

I know how you feel, I'm ill been burning up for a couple of days and dd's are currently sat by me having breakfast, dd1 is moaning and refusing to eat her toast (because its kingsmill and dd2 is blowing bubbles in her milk and I just want them to stop messing about.

I'm taking dd1 to school soon but I've got to have dd2 all day as she's not well either and there is no-one who could have her for me anyway, I did say after lunch we could have a little sleep and she said "i'm not" (which made me smile but also made me think damn)

Oh, I know the feeling. Lots of sympathy. I'm sure you will get her off. But I know- it's painful.

Think of it this way - you will have a terrible half hour or so getting her to school but be rewarded be several hours of lovely peace.

Goodluck!

yes I know all of this she has moved from the passage and is now tearing out the bobbles I have just out in her because they are the 'wrong new bobbles' the dog seems to be coping with her atm

I agree, it will be painful in the short term but you've had a really horrid night and the peace and quiet of her being at school will help you.
How is your dog now? I hope shes feeling better.

oh she is 5 btw

V v sorry about your dog, and v v sorry for you.

You need a break. Be very calm and take DD1 to school in her nightclothes if she won't get dressed. She is not likely to be keen.

If that would mean manhandling her to school, and you're not up to it, ring school (or pretend to) to tell them that you're v sorry, but your DD won't get dressed. Have a "conversation" with her head teacher about how very disappointing it is, and what the sanctions should be (namely loss of whatever bothers her). I find they don't like the idea of you conspiring with teachers (okay, so it's a bit of a crap thing to do, but sometimes desperation beckons).

My DS has a hideous paddy about getting dressed every morning. The rule is that the DCs only get breakfast once they are dressed. If they are not down and dressed by 7.15 (yes, early - but school starts at 8.25), their breakfast goes in the bin. As they like their breakfast, this is a good incentive!

Good luck...

seriously perplexed at how a child can rule you and do what she wants.

really.

shouty voice doesn't have to be loud. =c'mon youmust have learned some menacing mum techniques.

think you need to take control of things, get off the puter and MAKE HER get dressed

don?t waste your breath shouting. All about body language and tone of voice
I know it is exhausting and you have understandably had enough. But, follow your gut instinct and get her into school. If you allow her to call any shots at the age of 5, imagine the potential for trouble when she is 7, 9, 15 etc etc. Just not worth it. You are the adult, you can do this and you need to show her you are in charge.
She is healthy so get her to school. I presume she is attached to the dog? What about a bit of emotional blackmail? works with my kids. If she were my 5 yr old (and I have a fiery, overly dramatic 5 yrold so do understand) I would be doing my classic hands on hips, furious mummy stare and be talking in a quiet very angry voice "what on earth do you think you are doing?? get back upstairs right now and get dressed or you will going to school in your pyjamas..." type thing!

15 mins of battle now will give you peace and quiet for the rest of the day... surely that is a great motivater? good luck!

I would dress her yourself and put her in the car, if she was my dd she would be going to school, children need to go to school but more than this children need to know you are the mum, you are in charge and 5 year olds do not get to dictate to their parents. Imagine what your life will be like in 5 to 10 yrs time if youo let her have these sorts of tantrums at 5?

I'm sorry I know you feel crappy but your children need to know they have to do as they are told.

My dd is 9 yes she moaned about eating her toast but she ate it because I told her to and I'm her mum and she will do as she's told because there isn't another option.

How about calmly offering her a choice: she is going to school. Either she goes in her pyjamas as she is, or she gets dressed. In five minutes time, you are going to leave to go to the school, and she will go in whatever she is then wearing.

Come five minutes later, you leave, taking her in her pyjamas. You have a set of clothes for her hidden in your handbag. When you get however far and she realises you're not joking, she may put on those clothes...

My DD1 was very similar to yours at the same age and all it took was once taking her to school in her pyjamas, with me carrying her under my arm all the way (think struggling to get an octopus in a string bag) and her sobbing that she'd be a good girl now.

I only ever had to threaten it after that and she got dressed straight away.

I had taken her clothes for her to get dressed into at school but it worked fantastically well.

yanbu Don't engage in any conversation or argument , dress her as you did when she was a baby/toddler even if she looks a bit scruffy and just take her to school. Sounds like you need the break.

soory yabu !!!

I used to do what LIZS said. Just physically taking her. I never risked the pyjamas as her headteacher was a bit funny and might have called the Social.

Send her to school. Letting her stay at home will be rewarding her for behaving badly, and it sounds like she needs to be kept busy anyway. Tell her you'll be taking her in pyjamas if she doesn't get dressed NOW!

She is dressed and her bobbles are back in we are now fighting over tickets on her gloves

I have little to no control over her custy, no one does. I have no idea what to do with her. She is not normally this bad though.

The dog is her best friend so she wouldn't settle and go to sleep last night untill she knew the dog was going to make it through the night (there was no point lying to her she could see how ill the dog was) so it was getting close to midnight when she eventually settled. She was in bed she just kept coming downstairs/calling downstairs to check on the dog.

What have you done?

I would just take her as it'll make things worse for you in the long run, never mind today.

Sorry if this sounds a bit harsh, but you might have more success with discipline if you weren't on the computer when trying to get her ready...can't help but think she's only got half your attention (and not because of your tiredness), and that's never going to help!