to be shocked that 11 year old girls have boyfriends...................

[SquishyButt]

All of DDs new friends at sec school (Yr 7) have boyfriends (she is the only one who does'nt apparently and is desperate for one) and we actually bumped into her best friend while she was 'window shopping' in town hand in hand with her boyfriend (all in the same class). They are 11 ffs! The girl had told her mum that she was going 'up town' with her friends but lied and met this boy on her own (her mum trusts her so lets her go out on her own ). I imagined 11 year olds swooning over each other in school and 'going out' with each other but not ACTUALLY going out so am shocked.

Found a text on DDs phone later that she sent to 4 friends saying how embarrassed she was of me making her walk around town with me! While she was at primary school she had no interest in boys at all and now after 3 months at senior school, she never shuts up about them . They seem to be having sex ed shoved in their faces at school too - she's been telling me that they have been shown graphic pictures (drawings) of penis' inside vaginas as well. I sat her down and told her the rudimentarys of it all when she was 10 and got her books about it but AIBU in thinking that they really don't need to be thinking about all that and boyfriend/girlfriend issues at this age.

I have told DD that she is not dating or going 'up town' with her mates until she is 16 and I'll homeschool if need be (bit OTT I know). I remember that I was still playing with dolls at her age - what is the world coming to!!

I had a bf at 11.
He was the secretary's son from school.
I used to go round his house for tea and I spent 3 hours in town looking for a diabetic easter egg for him. I used to wear his coat and hold his hand. That's it.

DD is 8 and has had boyfriends, she also knows all about how babies are made, doesn't mean she is ready to try for one though!

Why were you going through her phone??

Surely a phone is as private as a diary?

oh and yanbu at all i just think you are naturally worried mum

i know for a fact when my dd starts 'dating' or going to town i will be checking my phone constantly and chewing my fingernails till she gets home lol dh will be out stalking the poor girl (he's already mentioned a chastity belt for when shes 10) lol!!!

Mrsjammi, I agreee - I do not really want DD to go to an all girls, but the decision will be in the lap of the gods (well the pan-london jobby!)

I went to an all girls school too (after mixed primary) and found it very odd that there were no boys. And we weren't even allowed to talk to them over the wall

I didn't say he was different Anna, just not overtly or overly interested in girls at the moment. I'd rather that he is as he is and can decide if and when he wants to have a girlfriend at his pace, rather than that of his peers/the outside world.

I've dealt with the fall out of both girls and boys having undue pressure on them to do the sex / dating thing too early, and it was horrendous, ending up with an attempted suicide; so if my ds is happier with his ps3, then that's fine by me. I'd rather he enjoyed having a 'childhood' than fulfilling all the supposed teenage norms.

I had a boyfriend when I was 11. We didn't actually do anything, though. Only one of our group actually kissed boys at that age.

I went to a large, fairly well thought of mixed state comp in the late 80s and early 90s and I have to say, by the age of 13 or 14 almost all the girls I knew had kissed boys and probably gone a little bit further, even. By 15/16 there were very, very few virgins left among us. And this was a real mix of kids, including kids from 'good' middle class homes and kids with strict parents etc etc.

I have no illusions about what young people are likely to get up to. Best to be aware and accept that it may happen (even if you dont agree with it).