to want to open xmas presents one at a time with lots of oohing and aahing rather than just diving in and having it over in 2 seconds

[morningpaper]

DH's family just pile in and rip it all open

We have to open one present at a time and savour the moment

He says we are poncy and middle class

Who is right?

I think you can make just as strong an argument that sitting around all day doing nothing but opening presents is "all about the getting"

If the main focus of an entire day is opening presents, then I think the present worship has gone a little too far.

It's kind of hard to present it as non-acquisitive good manners to fetishise the giving and receiving of gifts like that.

But I only say this now because someone is being openly hostile to divers (as opposed to just trying to insinuate that they're a bit common).

Dive, savour, whatever. You're all doing the same thing really.

This is a well-known phenomenon to anthropologists, and it is broadly based on social class (again!)...

Some families (not always but typically the chattering middle classes) use their rituals to refocus and regroup the family. Hence Christmas rituals that rely on group relations and inverted hierarchies (often youngest child gets to dish out etc so they become temporarily the most powerful...)

Some families are (typically but not exclusively working class in origin) more child-focused, so Xmas rituals are about placing the child's wants and needs at the centre of Xmas rituals and hence practices like all presents in pillow case at end of bed.

So you might wonder what ripping means. I dunno (not being an actual anthropologist... ). But I imagine it would be interpreted as either evidence of greater child-centricness (eg if families spend the real money on the kids and not the adults, therefore adult presents are less 'desired') and/or perhaps greater confidence in family relationships so gift exchange is not needed to reinforce the notion of family.

Discuss.

[god, you can tell I've been marking too many shite essays can't you...]

lol @ people being revolted to their very core at present technique

To the Rippers: Isn't it ANNOYING when you spend months/money on a carefully chosen present, and you don't even get to see the moment when the person OPENS it? When they are sitting right next to you? I don't want my gifts to be part of the hyena-like scrum

UQD - you could argue the complete opposite - that by making a day long ceremony out of opening you are emphasising the "getting" - you're making opening the big event. the joy of opening everything in the morning is not the opening itself its the anticipation it creates of a wonderful day ahead playing x, y and z. ie using the blummin things!

basically you can interpret either approach as being about appreciating the presents or as emphasising "getting" - so I don;t think there is anything intrinsic to either approach that indicates one or the other. the extent to which you enjoy and appreciate presents is not dictated by the way in which you open them. (how's that for diplomacy...everyone's right...)

Oh, I couldn't stand for the ripping.

I like to take time, savour it. Ds is 2 though.

I love the anthropological analysis, goodwill!

And no-one still knows who I am now I have my Xmas name on.

Goodness, this is getting deep - I love the idea of "gift exchange is not needed to reinforce the notion of family"

For me, Xmas is about spending quality time with people I love. I DO love seeing my DC's faces light up when they get a present they really want, but there's so much more to Xmas Day. Good company, good food, maybe a family film, playing with the stuff that's been ripped open / painstakingly opened with precision, maybe going for a walk.

Each to their own, though. Having your own family traditions is what makes this time of year so special.

I agree with analysis part one (definitely my family) but not part two, although I have heard it given as a reason. I don't think diving in quick makes children any happier, because you get the anticlamax (is that it?) so much faster, and the fun is limited to "what have I got". But then I like ritual, and I think Christmas is for families, and not just for children.

I normally come up an any measure at all as so middle class it's tedious. I'm quite pleased to have wc leanings on at least one thing in life. makes for a bit of variety...Makes me think that I must ask my mum and dad about this...it's interesting that we all try to replicate elements of our own childhood but by virtue of having other halves we compromise and evolve traditions and develop our own...I wonder what differences there are my childhood christmas's and my parents...that presumably resulted from their own evolution and compromises. must find out.

We do the open one by one, taking it in turns, and taking our time over it. I love it. We have a small champagne or bucks fizz, nibble on chocolates and it is lovely. DD's present opening can take soooo long

No ripping here - and I agree with Goodwill and intend to milk my rituals!

We don't do 'nothing but open presents'. The presents are little interludes between various delicious meals, drinks, a walk, TV (although never the Queen) etc. We don't go to church but Christmas lunch is the main focus of the day, not the presents.

my kids have never demanded entertainment on christmas day nor said they are bored.

You got the wrong sort of kids, UQD

Am I the only one that has to hand back wrapping paper to the giver so they can use if again?

One at a time here too, and in the afternoon. We have Church in the morning, then lunch, then presents. With a 2 and 3 year old I guess they will be opened quite quickly and then there will still be time for lots of playing.

pointydog - aaah, you fell into the trap. I never said MINE used the "b" word - read properly. We are Staggerers, not Rippers...

Staggering is exactly the opposite of grasping and acquisitive - it puts presents into the context of the rest of Christmas Day and shows that the opening can be put on hold when there are other things to do during the day, like visiting great-aunts, peeling potatoes and having Civilised Carols on in the background.

(Yes, this devout atheist favours Civilised Carols over The Greatest Xmas Album In The World Ever Part III. I somehow baulk at opening presents to the sound of East 17 and Cliff Richard. Call me weird.)

Probabaly, twopence. I keep wrapping paper sometimes if I want to use it again. It'd get my goat if someone handed me back a piece of wrapping paper.

my kids have never demanded entertainment on christmas day nor said they are bored.
You got the wrong sort of kids, UQD

or the wrong sort of PRESENTS

oooh I love a bit of Cliff at christmas

I nearly wet myself with excitement while ice-skating last night in the cold winter air with Cliff in the background

If only I hadn't been skating around a tiny ice-rink outside Morrison's in Taunton I would have made a puddle

I know you didn't say yours did. You implied mine might as they do a mix of ripping and very slight staggering depending whose house threy are in on Christmas Day. And you implied your dc would be bored if they opened them all at once. Well, mine never have

It's Competitive Christmas Kids time

Exactly UnquietDad, you put it much better than me!
(Also with you on the atheism and Christmas carols)

lol mp

('twas quite funny, there was a rather roly-poly ice-warden who was absolutely rubbish and he collided into me at one point and another time he fell completely arse over tip and all the other ice-wardens rushed to his aid. I hope it wasn't some sort of job interview....)

we weould open ours to Sufjan Stevens, songs for chirstmas.

I stagger
Only way to go.
And may i add that i have Cliff's Wired for Sound on iPod?
I generally prime it to come on after Led Zepp's 'Whole Lotta Love' while tackling nesty hill.

I may well play it for pre staggered opening of presents run on Christmas morn..