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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to open xmas presents one at a time with lots of oohing and aahing rather than just diving in and having it over in 2 seconds

118 replies

morningpaper · 09/12/2008 17:27

DH's family just pile in and rip it all open

We have to open one present at a time and savour the moment

He says we are poncy and middle class

Who is right?

OP posts:
pointydog · 09/12/2008 19:29

the in-laws are rippers. It annoys me, no one pays the blind bit of notice to anyon else. My folks take their time. Far more relaxing. DON't think this is to do with class but I suppose you could twist anything into a class issue.

StephanieByng · 09/12/2008 19:31

I am surprised by how strongly I feel about this but I feel revolted by the idea of everyone just diving in and ripping presents open all at the same time! It seems utterly bizarre to me that you wouldn't have one at a time so that you can see what people have and give it just a bit of thought...

obviously am truly poncey - but I really couldn't stand it!

skidoodle · 09/12/2008 19:32

LOL this one's close to the bone

This year I'm spending my first ever Christmas with DH's family who are obsessive keen savourers.

My family isn't really that bothered about presents - we get them if we feel like it or have a good idea for something, so it's rare for anyone to have more than one present to "savour". We just give presents when we see each other, enjoy the look on the face and then it's pretty much over. There aren't enough presents for any kind of meaningful ritual.

DH's family (well one half of it anyway) spend HOURS opening presents. I'm a bit terrified by the idea of having to spend so much time unwrapping things and saying "ooh how lovely". It sounds like a very boring way to spend the day (and this does take up a lot of Christmas Day - they break for breakfast )

I thought his family were absolutely nuts, but it seems it's actually quite common to do this present-opening thing and some of you have even made it sound like not an utter nightmare.

I'll try to get into the swing of it

bronze · 09/12/2008 19:34

Dh is a ripper. I must be poncey. I think you need to at least take time oout to read who its from so you know who to thank for it after. I was brought up to write thank you notes though DH never does. Get son my wick as have to phone my relatives and thank them for his presents other wise I feel like crap.

Wallace · 09/12/2008 19:34

Take it in turns and write down giver and present for thank you letters.

Dh's family are piler inners.

SantaKLAWs · 09/12/2008 19:35

We open all presents individually, it's the only way.

pointydog · 09/12/2008 19:37

Agree that if there are lots of presents to open it would get var boring.

nickytinseltimes · 09/12/2008 19:40

It's always been in turn here and from the youngest up.
I am the writer-down.

We used to share Christmas with the poshest of familys and they opened their presents in stages THROUGHOUT THE DAY.
And they bought their kids stuff like a new desk.

Bastards.

FaintlyMacabre · 09/12/2008 19:40

We open ours throughout the day, one round every hour or so. We tend to give lots of little/medium size presents so the present opening can last until 11/12pm. They have to be opened before midnight or 'they'll turn into carrots', according to my Dad!
Opening them all at once, even in a sedate and orderly fashion sounds All Wrong to me. And as for ripping them open in a mad frenzy... [faints]

pointydog · 09/12/2008 19:42

arrgh, that would drive me NUTZ, macarbre. Fannying about with presents all day. I do like to move on.

piscesmoon · 09/12/2008 19:45

I don't understand how you work out thank you letters if you all dive in.

StephanieByng · 09/12/2008 19:46

oh and another thing that makes me feel revolted to the core of my being is children not being allowed to open their presents until about 2 or 3 in the afternoon after lunch....

I feel weirdly strongly about this stuff! You live and learn - wouldn't have thought I would really!

pointydog · 09/12/2008 19:46

agree, byng. Now that is a class thing

piscesmoon · 09/12/2008 19:50

I think it is very unfair to wait until the afternoon and also to wait an hour between presents. We take turns but we do it in the morning and all in one session.

hatwoman · 09/12/2008 19:51

hmm. I love teh question what else are you going to do all day if you open your presents all at once...erm play with them perhaps? there's more to enjoying presents than opening them. diving in and having a frenzy does not mean you don't appreciate them. what nonsense.

as a kid we opened ours on mum and dad's bed and it was the most exciting thing ever ever ever. we all looked at what we'd got and did appreciate it. I can't bear the idea of the restrained sitting in a circle thing. and as for stopping to write down what you;ve got...we really didn;t need to...we remembered...

having said that, in a bit of a sop to dh and to the adult me we do sometimes save some pressies til later - we put ones from relatives under the tree and open them. although I've never wanted to shout "DIVE IN" to my kids more than the time when fil started saying we should save some...just really niggled me. my house and all that...

RhinestoneReindeerHerder · 09/12/2008 19:51

On the ponce side of the fence here, as was what my family always did. Suspect that DH had dive & rip tendencies, but we've been together over 10 yrs now and I think I've successfully quashed that one now...

hatwoman · 09/12/2008 19:52

yes byng - think that was why I felt so cross with fil...

ISawMumiKissingSantaClaus · 09/12/2008 19:53

Can't think of anything more cringeworthy, creepy and boring. Life's too short to spend with an aching face from forced smiles, let alone Chrismtas Day. YABU!

queribus · 09/12/2008 19:56

I'm with skidoodle here - surely there's more to Xmas Day than opening presents.

And how many presents would you have to get to be opening every hour on the hour until midnight!!!

You lot must get some great presents to be 'oohhing' and aahhing' all day. I love seeing the look on children's faces, but I can take or leave the rest of the present thing.

And waiting for the afternoon is just plain weird (not to mention a little mean-spirited for children).

nooka · 09/12/2008 19:58

My dh's family are ripper openers, and I absolutely hate it. One year the children opened all their presents before I got up (they tend to start the celebrations on Christmas Eve, so a late start for adults is not unusual) and I was miserable. To me that was Christmas completely ruined because having spent weeks thinking about what they might like, I missed the opening.

My family are very ritualistic. Christmas Eve is for Midnight Mass, so no early rising (also no FC stuff). As children we had one big present (to keep us busy) a the end of the bed, and then all other presents when it gets dark, when my father, with help from the youngest child, hands out presents. We don't all wait and watch, but it is a civilized event, with a nice fire and Christmas cake, and plenty of opportunity to watch the person receiving your gift open it (we tend to see the whole family over the Christmas period, and open presents when we see the giver). With the first group of grandchildren no opening of presents was allowed before dark, but my mother has come around to the idea that small children find this a bit tough, so now a few are allowed during the morning too.

For our own Christmases we do stockings (dh and I like to creep to the children's rooms and listen to this bit). Then stagger presents through the day. This year as we are in Canada we'll need to do something a bit different as there won't be that many presents!

littlerach · 09/12/2008 19:59

WE open present in the morning, and dds can be quick as they like then

Then we drive down to my mum's and they open them all there. However, the gilrs open theirs first, then my grandmother, then my suster and i, then mum. Dh and my step dad do theirs when there is a gap

It does take a while, but it is nice, especially for my grandmother who lives a long way away, and only sees us two or three times a year. She gets ot see what we've all got, and comment son it all

nooka · 09/12/2008 20:05

My family does Christmas lists, so all presents are welcome - which reduces the risk of false smiling. I like the giving best in any case, getting a present just right for someone really makes the day for me. Also we don't watch TV (we didn't have one until I was 11 or so), so there is plenty of time. Our Christmas goes breakfast, help my mother with lunch, finish off last touches to presents (we do quite a few homemade stuff), eat lunch, go for walk, light the candles on the tree, go ooh and ahh, drink champagne, open presents. Have tea, tidy up, play a game or two/do puzzle, help my mother make supper, get dressed up, eat supper, drink port and then go to bed. So long as the company is good, it is very enjoyable and relaxing.

UnquietDad · 09/12/2008 20:05

Rippers seem to be coming from an "it's all about the getting" mentality. One of the worst things about Christmas.

Nothing wrong with making children stagger presents - if they open everything before breakfast they just demand more and more entertainment throughout the day and are "booooooooooored" (that hateful word) by teatime.

kerryk · 09/12/2008 20:06

dd's open presents at the same time as each other but will only tackle one present each at a time, after they are open they compare notes with each other then move onto the next present.

dh and i hover over the top of them trying to remember who bought what. this is usually helped by dh on his camcorder.

after the girls have finished dh and i open our presents which usually takes around 7 seconds

FaintlyMacabre · 09/12/2008 20:13

Staggering is good, honest. And we don't have loads of presents, quite a few will be socks/notecards/other little things so it isn't some kind of materialistic all-day orgy.
And there's more fun of anticipation -trying to decide which to open first and which looks less intriguing and can be put off until later.
Then of course there was the Sellotape Dispenser year...