Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that my mother shouldn't insist on personally handing birthday presents to my DD's?

44 replies

padboz · 09/12/2008 14:08

They're little (2 & 3) - the one whose birthday it isn't has a hard time dealing with the fact that one is being handed shed loads of stuff while they get nothing that day. My mother (who works, so cannot arrive on birthdays themselves) won't send anything in the post because she wants to be the one that hands it over. This just extends the agony for the one who isn't getting anything it seems to me. I have insisted I would make it clear that its from her and not me but she says she wants to see the joy etc...

so, am I?

OP posts:
Bramshott · 09/12/2008 14:11

Er, yes, I think you are a little !

SpirobranchusGiganteus · 09/12/2008 14:12

Oh if I was giving my grandchildren a pressie I would far rather hand it over in person if I had the chance.

So, yes, I do think you are being a little bit unreasonable, though understandably.

Children just have to learn to accept that they don't always both get nice things at the same time

ReinDIORdroppings · 09/12/2008 14:12

Message withdrawn

ThePregnantMerryYuleWitch · 09/12/2008 14:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Blinglovin · 09/12/2008 14:13

yes, a little. sorry. I hate having to send gifts to my neices and nephews - because I WANT To see their little faces. Can't wait for Christmas this year where they will be opening presents I've given them, in front of me.

reindeercantdancethetango · 09/12/2008 14:13

yabu, surely thats one of the joys of being a gp

Iklboo · 09/12/2008 14:13

A bit but can understand where you're coming from.
When I was little my cousin lived with us for a while. When it was my birthday he got a little present to open too (just a token small thing). When it was his birthday I didn't get anything cos his birthday is on boxing day
I still bring this up when I see him. He'll be 40 this year
Could you perhaps let the one whose birthday it's not (if that makes sense) help you make a cake or something so she's involved?

PerkinWarbeck · 09/12/2008 14:13

YABU
it's a lesson that needs to be learnt soon or later.

notnowbernard · 09/12/2008 14:13

YABU

princessmel · 09/12/2008 14:13

yabu
I think its a lesson children need to learn. Sometimes its not their birthday!

thenewme · 09/12/2008 14:13

Not the question I thought it was.

YABU.

TheProvincialLady · 09/12/2008 14:14

YABU and the DC have to learn that it is not always Their Day.

pamelat · 09/12/2008 14:14

I'm 31 (ony just!) and still get a present from my parents on my brothers birthday

chopchopbusybusy · 09/12/2008 14:14

I think you are being a bit unreasonable. Could you explain the problem to your Mum and request that she gives the non birthday girl something small, even a bag of chocolate buttons or something.

Original poster
padboz · 09/12/2008 14:19

princess mel and provincial lady (and others with the same point) - I do get that its not always their day and I don't go in for presents for the one whose birthday it isn't but it was dd2's birthday yesterday and we wont see my mum until the weekend - poor old dd1 found yesterday really trying and now she's going to have to spend Saturday watching DD2 opening another big pile of stuff. It could have all been dealt with in one day if she would have just put it in the post!

OP posts:
piscesmoon · 09/12/2008 14:20

YABU - children have to understand that they are not always treated the same and they each have a special day.

SpirobranchusGiganteus · 09/12/2008 14:21

But it doesn't need 'dealing with'. It is a lovely moment between child and gran. Other child will get turn another day.

notnowbernard · 09/12/2008 14:21

'Tis life though! She'll get used to it

And they'll be lots of new pressies for them to share, won't there? (put a bit of positive spin on it for dd1!)

Iklboo · 09/12/2008 14:21

Ah - but it could have gone missing in the post. Or worse, got broken. Opening a broken present would have been worse for birthday girl

Original poster
padboz · 09/12/2008 14:21

this is my point pisces : I'm trying to limit it to one day though!

OP posts:
thenewme · 09/12/2008 14:22

why though? it isn't doing any harm.

Original poster
padboz · 09/12/2008 14:25

harrumph ... are you telling me I have to go and appologise to my mother? Sheesh...
hangs head and shuffles off with hands in pockets....

OP posts:
Iklboo · 09/12/2008 14:25

Think back - did you always get your birthday presents in one go or were they spaced out as the relatives got time to come round?

Original poster
padboz · 09/12/2008 14:26

Seriously Iklboo, I know for a fact they always turned up in the post, but we lived hundreds of miles from my extended family so seeing them was a once a year thing.

OP posts:
thenewme · 09/12/2008 14:28

I am not telling you to do anything.