to think that my mother shouldn't insist on personally handing birthday presents to my DD's?

[padboz]

They're little (2 & 3) - the one whose birthday it isn't has a hard time dealing with the fact that one is being handed shed loads of stuff while they get nothing that day. My mother (who works, so cannot arrive on birthdays themselves) won't send anything in the post because she wants to be the one that hands it over. This just extends the agony for the one who isn't getting anything it seems to me. I have insisted I would make it clear that its from her and not me but she says she wants to see the joy etc...

so, am I?

Surely as they are 2 and 3 the presents are pretty much for both of them?

Devil - dd1 is only just 3, dd2 was 2 yesterday. They are going through the most horrendous 'THATS MINE' stage. It is the biggest argument in the house at the moment

Why do you need to limit it to one day? I can see it would be difficult to have a birthday week but you just explain to the one without the birthday that Grandma couldn't be there on the day. If she sent it by post it might not arrive on time. Last month I posted a parcel that took 10 days to arrive!!

Ah but that was in t'good old days of Royal Mail when they did 2 deliveries a day and came out on Xmas Eve
Not sure what to say - it'll get easier when they get older and understand more but it's not much consolation to you now.

thenewme : that was aimed at the collective response, not yours in particular

I think its quite clear I'm being a bit sensitive from the consensus! I had the same problem 6 weeks ago when it was dd1's birthday!

I have 2 DCs very close in age, I think it is really nice for one to be treated as special sometimes.

yabu.

thanks ladies : that was cathartic. I was convinced my mother was being impossible. I can now go and tell her I was being an arse. Better get a decent pudding in for Sat.

i am a dissident here - i think your mother should post them so they arrive on the right day for one thing or drop them off in advance. it seems rather petty and controlling to have to be the one to give them the present, imho.

You might change your mind if you get to be a grandma bossykate!

Good on you OP! Hopefully your mum wont' make you eat humble pie!!!

It might be hard for your children while they're young, but if you make such a big deal over it it will only get harder, instead of easier.

Children need to learn that birthdays are special, and that they have their special day and other children have their special day (or several days because of rellies etc).

I think you are a little bit. Surely the whole idea in giving a present is to see the joy it brings to the recipient.

yabu

Yes

yabu

Okay, okay, she knows now she is BU - she's off to buy cake for her mum!

I don't think it will "extend the agony" for the non-birthday child any more than it will extend the excitement for the one whose birthday it is. Could you ask your mum to wrap a colouring book or something small for the other child? That way both children (and Granny) are happy.

LOL @ it being "controlling" to want to give your grandchild a present but not controlling to insist on all presents arriving by post by the right day

OP - I think your aims are laudable but just won't work in this imperfect world of ours.

I do feel a little sorry for DD1 though if she'll have to have another DD2 Day next weekend. I'm sure you can think of a way to make her feel special that day too

Padboz, brilliant work on taking what everyone says on board.

And please, please, please, don't discourage week long birthdays! I insist on at least a three week birthday extravaganza for myself, and am happy to support similar type birthdays for all family and friends!

And because lots of family lived far away when we were growing up, the days ahead and after birthday when things turned up just added to the enjoyment of the whole occassion (no no, it wasn't just about the crips £20 notes our great aunt used to send, I promise! )