To not interview a nanny 'cos she's too pretty?

[andicallmyselfafeminist]

Ah, now - this is not shaping up to be my finest hour.

But our nanny is leaving and in amongst the usual dross CVs, there are a few good ones. There's someone who I would normally want to interview, but she's attached a photo and she's kind of attractive. That wouldn't normally be a problem, (I'm not that flaming insecure) but she looks exactly like I did 10 years ago, pre-kids, pre-weight gain, pre family life. In short, she looks like the young woman, my dh fell in love with and frankly, I don't want a constant reminder ( of how I used to be), walking around the house.

AIBU? Absolutely, but does anyone understand, or have I fallen into some irredeemable abyss?

Abyss.

yanbu

unless you tell her the reason

Totally and utterly unreasonable.... but totally understandable and I would more than likely be the same

Unless she's really really loads better than the other applicants of course...?

no, you don't need the reminder tbh!!

When employing APs I always got for young hot ones, they are in no way interested in my, quite hansome for his age, DP who is 48.

The only one I had a problem with was an overweight, hirsuite woman in late 20s - now she thought she was in with a chance!

I had a stunning cleaner back in Germany who would wear denim shorts showing off her mile long legs. I was a bit of her but had no worries about her running off with DH. Aside from anything else, she was more than half his age and a head taller

She is now an aupair in Spain and still keeps in touch.

Yab a bit U

No, YANBU (although of course, you are being dreadfully discriminatory and probably in direct contravention of all sorts of legislation surrounding recruitment and employment). But who wants a hot 20something wandering around their house with her swishy hair and pert breasts? Not me, that's for certain sure.

I would be the same.

Hmm, I understand. However, you might want to interview her anyway. Some of the dross on paper might turn out to be really good, and vice versa.

Depends, is your husband a lecherous ol dog who thinks a girl would be interested in him?

I nannied 20 odd years ago in Spain and I wouldn't have touched any of the fathers with a ten foot pole... They could have looked all they liked.

YABU - or are you afraid your DP will run away with her? Says more about your trust issues with your DP than anything else I fear.

Does that make sense? I'm hungry!

YABU and you know it! tsk!

I was a nanny in my gap year and one of the families that I went to see told me that they thought I was too pretty. They paid my train fare for the interview and I never gave it another thought. I would not have wanted to live in a house where there was even a thought that what I looked like could have made any problems. Not that I was interested in some bloke with a load of kids! I was 18.

Funnily enough I ended up working for a divorced couple where the dad - who I didn't see until I had moved in, was impossibly handsome. He was a right git though so it just goes to show that you can't judge on appearances!

Understandable.

Another way to look at it is that looking as she does she may well feel content and happy with life and will thus be a fab nanny. An overweight, spotty, frumpy one
who doesn't like herself much might make you feel more secure, but might not be so much fun for your kids.

Janni has a good point.

I think you are being very honest.

Interview her. She might be fabulous and if you do employ her you could use her as a reminder of what you used to be like and maybe start exercising, doing your hair, nails, or whatever it is that would make you feel like a woman again instead of just mum.

YABU

i would feel very annoyed if i were judged on my looks and not my abiltiy to do the job

why would your dh go off with her, would you go off with the male nanny if he was hunky

i really hope that you do interview her

YANBU

It's your home, your DH, your peace of mind, your daily irritation

There are lots of nannies out there, why go for one that already makes you feel a little insecure, plus she'll never know why you don't interview her!

As for not trusting your DH as another poster suggested, I don't think that's the issue - who can say they aren't drawn to just looking at something attractive whether that be a car, a necklace or a person? No suggestion of fancying or running off with, just annoying that something attractive in person-form is in your face on a daily basis.

Do yourself a favour and stuff that CV in the bin

must be pretty darn dark in that thar abyss

MarmadukeScarlet is right, of course. The pretty ones wouldn't look twice at my dh.

YANBU. You have to live your life and I think its more that she specifically looks like a younger you, than attractiveness per se. And I don't sense that you think your DH would really run away with her.

Oh no, that's not the issue - running off with my husband (well, she could try, but frankly, I'd have to question her sanity), it's more that she looks just like me (I mean, really looks like me), and it would do my head in. That's a can of worms I think I'll leave unopened.

As unreasonable as it is, I may just have to go with my instincts on this one....

what she looks like in her photo might bear no resemblance to her in real life. i know i would put my best shot, and frankly on an average day i look nothing like it!

anyway, YABU, but no one is forcing you to interview her, so save yourself the trouble and forget about it!