To not interview a nanny 'cos she's too pretty?

[andicallmyselfafeminist]

Ah, now - this is not shaping up to be my finest hour.

But our nanny is leaving and in amongst the usual dross CVs, there are a few good ones. There's someone who I would normally want to interview, but she's attached a photo and she's kind of attractive. That wouldn't normally be a problem, (I'm not that flaming insecure) but she looks exactly like I did 10 years ago, pre-kids, pre-weight gain, pre family life. In short, she looks like the young woman, my dh fell in love with and frankly, I don't want a constant reminder ( of how I used to be), walking around the house.

AIBU? Absolutely, but does anyone understand, or have I fallen into some irredeemable abyss?

rejecting her on teh basis of the photo is unreasonable (and also daft). interview her and then post asking whether it's unreasonable not to employ her because she really is exactly like you were...

my first thought is that you are being very unreasonable, but also, you are^ being honest and probably most of us would think and feel the same...........show me one woman who seriously has no hang-ups about her body and I will see a liar! (have not met one* woman who does not hate something about herself).

but, you never know....you might interview her and find that she is insane (not likely, but you never can tell), or that she could even be someone who you will become very friendly with and be the perfect choice for your children.

you could still interview her.....you don;t have to hire her.

and besides..........it is also your personality that your DH fell in love with, and she can;t be you 100% now can she

As an ex-nanny I heard a few stories about nannies loosing out to jobs because they are good looking. Those nannies will usual get the jobs that other nannies wont get because the parents want someone slim or someone who might feel more comfortable within there uber stylish home and around there friends and families.

If she would be live-in then I can understand your feelings.

I've mellowed part way through your OP. Just run along and I'll say no more about it.

Depends on the priorities of the job. If it's for the best chance of the best childcare, that gives one answer: if it's to recruit a household ornament, then there's a different answer.

If her application is good in other respects, you should interview her, and see what happens. She may well turn down the job, feeling that she doesn't need a fat, frumpy and gone-to-seed version of herself glaring at her over the toast and marmalade.

That's very true sleepyeyes, for every employer/mother who doesn't want a young thin girl around, there's another family who are the complete opposite and couldn't countenance the presence of an unattractive overweight being in their stylish home and circle of acquaintance!!

yabu

but so is she for being young and pert

she is also being unreasonable for putting her photograph in with her cv

so on balance yanbu

If nannies are anything like aupairs, that photo will have been the best of her taken years ago and she would have put on 2 stone in the meantime. Interview her.

LOL at Bluestockings take on it!!!

ha ha bluestockings. v. funny. She may think.. oooh crystal ball moment. LOOK AWAY NOW>

your house, your choice

it doesn't matter whether you are being unreasonable or not

lol @ bluestocking

she taps into your insecurities and self image.not her fault.not a legitimate reason to not interview

but realistically if this will irk you and you end up projecting your stuff onto her it will make for an unhappy home.so propbabaly for that reason a no go.

long term maybe have a think about yourself and your achievements.yes 10yrs on a mum and wife,that has to be worth something

hell so what if your jenas are a differnt size,you are still the same gal who has done differnt things.dont be so hard on yourself

drag yourself past the clinique counter,get to the hairdresser.bottle of wine in for you and dh. NICE

Haha, I remember looking for a nanny when I was quite pg w dc#2.... a cv came in from a nice sounding girl, a bit too fara away to be a daily nanny tbh, and she had attached a photo. She looked gorgeous, young, blonde, smiley, slim etc. She became known in our house as "the hottie from croydon", and I'm afraid I didn't interview her. On paper because she really lived too far away to be a reliable daily nanny, but deep down inside, I knew I couldn't face the whole post natal thing with that hottie floating around the place. Nothing to do w worrying about my husband fancying her, more about me feeling yuck. In the end, we hired another nanny, who was.... young, blonde, smiley, buxom, etc....!

Totally understand where you are coming from. Would advise you to interview anyway (most of these photos are ancient as others have said), but would understand if you didn't....

I saw an article once where the DH run off with the ugly nanny. Ha Ha! It amazes me why some men (of course not all) think that a pretty 20 yr olds would fancy a 40 year old grey haired knocked knee'd bloke who is into Bruce Springsteen???? My DH some years ago (hi is now 52) lamented that 23 yr old weren't winking at him anymore He wasn't winking at 40 year old women either (apart from me)

But what if the two of you were to get along famously? An opportunity missed? You could take an elegant, sophisticated, maternal approach to the situation

I haven't read all the posts here but I think if you don't interview her, you would be really shallow and vain.
Who knows, she could be the best nanny for your children.

I'm not sure I would hire her but I'd certainly interview her if her qualifications were good, etc. as she may well be different in real life. The 'resemblance' may not be so telling face to face and if she's fantastically qualified then it would be silly to miss out on a potentially fantastic nanny. I'd far rather have a good looking, fabulous nanny than a disastrous, sulky yet satisfyingly plain one.

Interestingly my new nanny is very pretty (swedish looking, blonde) which was exactly what I said I WASN'T looking for when we were hiring. I was aiming more for the Russian shot-putter end of childcare. However, she was fab with my daughters and seemed lovely and my gut instinct was to go with her. And I'm so glad I did as she's brilliant - a huge success and, to date, she hasn't run off with my husband.

Having said all of this I'm somewhat guilty as I didn't interview one nanny on the grounds that her CV photo appeared to be of her wearing a French maid's outfit. I kid you not - ruffled white apron, black dress, etc. Coupled with the white blonde hair in plaits and her dazzling beauty it felt a bit too high a risk......

Before I had dc and let myself go I had a great job, which I had wanted to do for ages. After 3 or 4 months working there a colleague told me I was shortlisted with another girl, but I was chosen because I was prettier and the boss liked to have good looking people around the place
I was really annoyed. I thought I'd got the job based on my ability not something so shallow.
Looks shouldn't come into it. How you feel about yourself isn't her problem, its yours.

Abyss

Sorry. Cheer up.