to be thinking of moving DS from his school because of the parents of children there?

[Kupugani]

OK am at risk of flaming on multiple points here (private education, judging people yaddayadda, I see it coming) but bear with me.

DS goes to private school because DH and I were both failed by the state system and we want better for him than we had.

He goes to a very small school at which it is a one class per year set up. We love the school.

The class he has joined has some parents in it who are very volatile. These people are quite brash with their cash, very flashy, typical Boyz Done Well with their WAGs IYSWIM. There have already been rows and bitchiness with some of the mums which resulted in two departures from the class by people either involved or put off by the events surrounding these arguments. I have kept well out of these arguments.

On Friday we parents' Christmas drinks - it was a whole school event in a public set up, so there were other companies there also having Christmas drinks too.

At one point in the evening, for reasons that I am not aware of, some of the dads in our year kicked off and started throwing punches at each other. I don't know what else happened because I left at this point.

Since then DH and I have been having conversations about how we feel about the school and whilst we are both seriously impressed with the school itself we are questioning whether we are happy for our child to stay in a class with all this unrest going on. Neither of us want him to go on playdates to houses where dad is happy to use his fists in an argument (note: this does NOT mean that we think that these guys would ever be violent in front of children, it's just that we're uncomfortable with their approach to things IYSWIM). Both of us feel that this and the previous rows that some of the parents have had have been rather crass and vulgar (I know that sounds horribly up our own arses but I don't know how else to phrase it).

DS is close friends with one of the boys whose parents are on the periphery of all this, in that they are very good mates with the main trouble makers but don't actually participate.

DS is 5.

So is taking him out an OTT response?

Personally i wouldn't want my child forming his first really strong friendships with children who are raised with the kind of values that allow you to punch somebody in the pub if you don't agree with them.

I would be worried about the kind of peer pressure my child would encounter at age 8, 10, 11.. also it's much easier to move now than in a few years.

Good luck!

p.s. maybe you need to be more open minded when considering schools this time and also see if you can get more of a sense of the values of the other children and families before you commit to moving DS.

My advice would be to look at the school, rather that whether it is state, or independent. Judge a school on its merits - that includes the other kids and parents who go there.

As children get older, other people's parents become a bigger and bigger issue - sleep overs, pier pressure, playground disputes.

If you don't like them, or their values, you are going to run into more and more conflict later on.

There are some amazing state primaries around - alot depends on whether there is an effective head. Have a look around - you might be able to find a better school and make some money.

maria this is a very old thread