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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this isn't funny at all?

68 replies

Indiechick · 07/12/2008 20:55

BIL was visiting today, I'd taken dd up to be changed and had put sudocream on her face - because she is dribbing a lot and because of the cold, she has areas of dry skin on her face. It doesn't rub in well so you could see it quite clearly. BIL says; oh look it's a fancy dress party and she's come as baby P. AIBU to think this is totally out of order?!

OP posts:
Nighbynight · 08/12/2008 12:01

I would find that extremely offensive, and would have said so immediately.
yanbu.

Nighbynight · 08/12/2008 12:03

sticksantaupyourchimney, rest assured that your feelings towards people who dont laugh are more than shared by them towards you.

mayorquimby · 08/12/2008 12:07

"but when it relates to a specific person/case especially so soon after it has come to light is just wrong and bad timing."

and surely this is the crux of the matter. once again a perfect example of how everyone draws their own line in the sand. you have no problem with dark sick humour.but not if it is referring to a specific or recent case. or your family.
where as for me the timing of the joke would have little influence on wether or not i find it funny but more likely wether or not i feel affected by it. like with the twin towers attack there were joke text messages going around the next day. would these jokes be more acceptabl now simply because time has passed?i mean the exact same people still lost their lives, why would someone say it's not ok to joke about it then but it is now. or madeline mccann with the jokes that went around at the time when she was all anyone could talk about. i mean if you think about people making jokes about the abduction/murder of a little child that is completely sick, but because of the media hysteria around the case it became sort of detached from reality and the jokes for many weren't so much actually about her, just that her name had become a byword for child abduction and media hysteria, and using her name added a shock value to any joke.

everyone has different methods of processing the world around us and i think that to automtically attribute the worst possible characteristics to someone based on a joke is reactionary. eg that the BIL in the op finds child abuse funny.i'd sincerely doubt that he does because you'd have to be pretty evil to find child abuse funny. he thought he could get a shock laugh from saying something that he thought was so over the top insensitive that it would become humourus

MotherChristmas2OliverJames · 08/12/2008 12:09

I dont think it is funny, at all, i think its in bad taste!

something similar happened the other day, i was introducing DS to some relatives he hadnt met before and whilst we were there my mum asked me to show them the pics on my phone from DS's first time at messy play, he had orange and purple paint on his face.

i cant remember who said it but i was in complete shock that someone said he looked like baby P in the picture! i thought it was very inappropriate!

i couldnt believe it but was so utterly stunned i didnt say anything, i wish i had have done

Boobalina · 08/12/2008 12:09

Its not funny, its wrong to even make any joke related to a little baby tortured and murder.

End of.

tiredsville · 08/12/2008 12:15

I have a dark sense of humour, I love Russell Brand for example..but strangely enough a joke about a toddler living his short life being subjected to torture doesn't really rock my boat..BI sounds like wanker material IMHO..

electra · 08/12/2008 12:16

awful - yanbu at all.

TooFoggy · 08/12/2008 12:47

revolting

wideratthehips · 08/12/2008 12:55

jokes are funny...whats funny about this?

sounds like a revolting thing to say. mind you i get flared nostrils if anyone says anything stupid about my children in a 'joking' context.

he'd be off my dinner party list

MenaMilou · 08/12/2008 13:19

Appallingly bad taste. I could never find a baby being abused to death a good topic for a joke. I'm surprised that some on here think otherwise.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 08/12/2008 13:50

I wonder if it's a man thing too. Men are just more emotionally attached from things on the whole, aren't they? DH works on a team of mostly men, and honestly - some of the "jokes" he tells me on topical things that he's heard from colleagues are just NOT funny, and I just tut and he goes "What?!".

I must admit I have found jokes funny in the past where it's maybe concerned someone's death/misfortune, who'd brought it on themselves purely by their own doing. Esp when something kinky was involved! But when it's a joke about an innocent child who did no wrong and ended up in that position.....I just don't see what's funny about it.

nickytinseltimes · 08/12/2008 14:02

As I said at the start of this thread, it was a tasteless and horrid thing to say.

I am glad most people seem to feel this way.

I have a very dark sense of humour - Charlie Brooker is my hero - but there is a line.

mayorquimby · 08/12/2008 14:23

"Charlie Brooker is my hero "

see now that's interesting. were you a fan of his series "nathan barley"? because there were a lot of jokes about paedophilia in that and the magazine "sugaRAPE" was quite prominent in that as well. i wonder sometimes if we are more accepting of tv personalities making certain types of jokes because we assume the best of them with regards being tongue in cheek as they are on tv/being satirical where as when someone does it in person or someone who we might not be used to their sense of humour we assume the worst with regards what prejudices they might have.
charlie brooker/chris morris would be two great examples.
or in the office because we know that gervais is making a parody of Brent trying so hard to be PC and an embracer of all cultures (only in his own mind of course) when really he has no clue about other cultures. and in all sincerity refers to "oliver the office black guy" when trying to lend justification on the greatness of his Bob Marley rendition. or when the pakistani guy says "the other what?Paki?" good naturedly and Brent responds dead pan "oooh .. that's racist"
and people who enjoy it laugh because we know that it's taking the piss out of such people.where as if someone did that in real life and you didn't know them that well or lets say you don't particularly like them you'll assume they have the wrong motivations when they could be in all honesty be being satirical/taking the piss.where as if it's a close friend that you like you'll assume the best and accept that the joke was tongue in cheek

sticksantaupyourchimney · 08/12/2008 14:33

On a simliar note I despair. I really fucking do. What kind of deranged self-righteous fuckwit is 'offended' by a joke at the expense of a convicted criminal?

lalalonglegs · 08/12/2008 17:12

I assume a lot of people on this thread would have been incensed by the Brass Eye paedophilia special which was written by Charlie Brooker and Chris Morris. I thought it was hilarious but I suppose the difference between them and the OP's brother is that they are among the country's best satirists and spend hours writing material, editing it, bouncing ideas off each other and they are then presenting this material to a self-selecting audience. OP's brother made a slightly tasteless comment and his audience failed to see the funny side. I can't believe that one off-the-cuff remark has generated this much anger and self-righteousness.

WifeandMotherof4 · 08/12/2008 17:14

Quite horrid, probably has no kids. Just forget it.

PingpingsatonSantasface · 08/12/2008 17:18

sticksantaupyourchimney ALan carr is shit funny I am sorry but that one about karen matthews cracked me up.

YANBU by the way

Jux · 08/12/2008 17:43

Bad taste but not worth getting in a lather over.

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