to think this isn't funny at all?

[Indiechick]

BIL was visiting today, I'd taken dd up to be changed and had put sudocream on her face - because she is dribbing a lot and because of the cold, she has areas of dry skin on her face. It doesn't rub in well so you could see it quite clearly. BIL says; oh look it's a fancy dress party and she's come as baby P. AIBU to think this is totally out of order?!

It is a nasty comment, BUT it might have been one of those thing that he said without thinking and realised after how bad it was? I know there have been occasions that I have said stuff and realised how bad it is after

Well I would have hooted with laughter myself. But then some people like black.sick humour and others don't. And it's not that smart to air hardcore jokes in front of people who might be easily offended. Does your BI know you well enough to be aware that your sense of humour doesn't get sick/dark/edgy/tasteless?

i think its funny, in a dark way.

Lockets - I've reconsidered and consulted with my DH and I still think he sounds like a wanker .

YANBU - how odd.

YANBU. I am amazed at the people who think it is darkly funny. What is funny about saying has your child come as as a poor abused baby? I find your BILs comments very offensive.

Hmmm....I don't necessarily find it MAJORLY offensive that he was making an admittedly poor joke about your baby looking like AN abused baby. What IS plain wierd and nasty is that he is actually referring to a specific, individual child we have all seen pictures of that suffered a horrific short life and death.

Bad enough that he is making a joke about general subject of child abuse.....that goes beyond the boundaries of ever being a subject for humour, even in a "dark" way. But I could have ignored that as a crass, ill-judged thing........not when he is joking about the specific child.

Few things are more subjective than humour. I could (if I could be arsed) probably dig out some or other learned text on the importance of catharsis and taboo-breaking and why some people laugh at shocking jokes, but if you don't find it funny, you still won't.
IMO absolutely everything is a potential subject for humour, though it's usually a good idea to work out whether or not someone is a self-righteous bleating twat amused by taboo-type jokes before telling any.

Sticksantaupyourchimney: Death can be a great source of amusement, I agree. At funerals, humour releases tension, especially when it's a joke about the deceased (even if it's to do with something daft or strange they did/said on their deathbed) that causes everyone to laugh.

But FGS, there's death, and then there's bloody awful, tortuous death.

Bit of a prick then is he?

A remark in poor taste I'd say.

Lockets - he was even more adamant than me, so maybe he has plans to set up an anti-wanker force. His own definition of wanker, of course.

Stickitupyourchimney - lots of things can be used for humour but it doesn't necessarily mean the joke is funny. Just because some people can be funny about death doesn't mean all jokes about death are funny. Some people who tell crap jokes all the time think they are really funny and the other folk are boring. They don't realise they're just crap at jokes.

I obviously am rip-roaringly funny at all times.

You see, I tend to find that people who pull that cat's bum face at edgy humour and go 'oooh, I find that quite offensive' are not people I want to make very good friends with, on the whole.

And I still think the original joke was quite funny and am saving it up for an opportunity to use it elsewhere.

YANBU, does he have dcs of his own? I have found that since I had dcs I just can't stomach this kind of humour.

I would only consider this mildly darkly funny if it HAD been at a fancy dress party.

But to look at a child with sudocream on her face and think "she looks like that abused murdered child, how HILARIOUS, I must share my inredibly witty assertion with the room, perhaps I situate my observational remark in a make-believe setting because it is SUCH a sharp and clever joke that it won't translate very well in this present setting".. I think that's very odd, not witty, and tasteless to boot.

yanbu not to find it funny.

i think yabu if your reaction is akin to alot of people on here to label him as a wanker because of one, admittedly not that funny or tasteful, joke.

some people have a dark sense of humour and everyone draws their own line. even on this thread the people calling him a wanker have differing opinions on where the line is. some saying it's the fact that he mentions a specific case that makes it particularly wrong others that it's making any joke about child abuse.

fwiw i'd have to plant myself firmly in the second camp of enjoying close to the bone jokes and will admit to having laughed at jokes about pretty much anything including child abuse. i just don't think the opriginal joke was funny but find nothing offensive about it.etto but to paint him as a monster on the basis of one joke seems a bit of an over reaction to me.

ds2 used to regularly come home from school with these kind of insensitive jokes based on the latest news stories...I remember a real corker he relayed to me when the space shuttle crashed.

was that child really smothered to death with sudocrem?

oh right

sorry
I know nothing about it
for my own sanity I need to avoid and shouldn't have asked that question

all I know is that a baby died, I think it was the parents that killed him, from long term abuse

and from this thread I have learnt that his name was peter

sticksantaupyourchimney, I can live with not being your friend, I don't think we'd have much in common. Maybe I am self-rightous, I can live with that.
And no BIL doesn't have children, and yes he is a bit of a wanker most of the time.

The other day my son who is 2.5YO had a choc digestive and as usual got it all round his mouth, and he happens to have bad eczema so could see red patches under it, when my friend came out with...

'Oh quick grab the camera and shave his hair then we can send a pic of DS into the sun lookalikey competition' and it took me a minute to realise what he meant when I asked are you talking about the Baby P picture he said 'aye except DS has been fed so he's too fat' .

It's one thing to make an innapropriate joke down the pub but IMO bringing another child into it is disgusting, that poor little boy had absolutely no dignity in life and now we have people cracking jokes about him, no it isn't funny at all!

Oh and meant to say I am slightly hypocritical right enough I find dark jokes hysterical I have a horrid sense of humour but when it relates to a specific person/case especially so soon after it has come to light is just wrong and bad timing.