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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be pissed off that someone called my ds delicate

34 replies

christmasbodybag · 05/12/2008 16:36

grrr, was not said in a nice way more like what a wimp way.

someones dd wh is a right thuddish 17month old, is really boistrous, and is always bashin into my ds, well she did itto him today.

the mother of the girl goes oh dd leave him alone hes much more delicate than you.

she is trying to say hes a wimp

OP posts:
Original poster
christmasbodybag · 05/12/2008 16:37

thuggish i mean

OP posts:
loobeylou · 05/12/2008 16:39

how old is your ds - if they are similar in age but her DD is taller/chunkier, then YABU, she would say that regardless of gender. If he is 4 on the other hand........then either he IS a bit wimpy or she is BU

loobeylou · 05/12/2008 16:41

At least she is encouraging her to be gentle and thoughtful to others - rather that than the mums who say when DS has been bashed or hit by their DC again "Oh, he's only playing!!"

2pt4kids · 05/12/2008 16:43

If I said that in that context I'd use it to mean your DS is smaller in build/skinnier rather than a wimp....
How old is your DS? Is he a slight build?

TeenyTinyTorya · 05/12/2008 16:46

Why does it matter to you that your ds is "delicate"? Would you be pissed off if you had a dd who was described this way?

bubblagirl · 05/12/2008 16:51

im not sure but im sure i wouldnt like my 17 mth old being classed as thuggish lol

most children of that age are all over the place my ds was and said many a times so and so is more delicate than you but in a way meant to say his not as big or over excitable not in a wimpy way no mother would class a child of 17 mths as whimpish or thuggish

just calm mannered or boisterous and botha re ok and its ok to raise awareness that its ok to play rough with some and others to be more gentle its ok to have a gentle nature my ds ahs very gentle noature now and have no worries with peiople saying play nice etc

bubblagirl · 05/12/2008 16:51

sorry for typos

Original poster
christmasbodybag · 05/12/2008 17:01

my ds is 1 year old.

OP posts:
Original poster
christmasbodybag · 05/12/2008 17:02

1 year older than her

OP posts:
Original poster
christmasbodybag · 05/12/2008 17:02

he is 2 and a half

OP posts:
Original poster
christmasbodybag · 05/12/2008 17:05

he is not slight built.
she is a bit of a bruiser/chunky tbh

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TeenyTinyTorya · 05/12/2008 17:05

"Wimpy" is negative. "Delicate" can be a positive thing, as can "gentle" etc. Unfortunately, many people seem to think that boys shouldn't be delicate or gentle, whereas it would be ok for a girl to be described this way.

Original poster
christmasbodybag · 05/12/2008 17:07

it was said in a sneery way.

oh leave him alone hes a bit delicate for you

yes she has had him in tears a few times by hitting him etc

OP posts:
belgo · 05/12/2008 17:07

I wouldn't take this badly - I don't think using the word delicate in this situation is insulting.

Original poster
christmasbodybag · 05/12/2008 17:08

well if i said yes, well, shes a bit if a thug, i don't think it would of gone down too well.

OP posts:
belgo · 05/12/2008 17:09

no, of course calling her a thug wouldn't go down very well.

lljkk · 05/12/2008 17:10

Life is too short to get het up about some things.

Original poster
christmasbodybag · 05/12/2008 17:12

she is a thug she is always pushing and hitting.
no wonder he's scared of her.

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TeenyTinyTorya · 05/12/2008 17:14

I wouldn't be too hasty to judge the 17mth old either. My 20mth old ds is very boisterous when at toddler groups etc, as he gets excited when he can run around. I have had all kinds of snobby looks from other parents when he barrels around the place, but I would never label him a thug - he is an active toddler who needs to learn to calm down. At home he is very cuddly and affectionate.

Original poster
christmasbodybag · 05/12/2008 17:25

little bloody git

OP posts:
giraffescantdancethetango · 05/12/2008 17:34

Sorry did you just call TTTs ds a bloody git? Just clarifying.

MeAndMyMonkey · 05/12/2008 17:47

You think it's ok to call a 17mth old girl 'thuggish' but don't like the suggestion that your own child is 'delicate'?
Would you prefer she called him a wuss or a big girl's blouse?

BuckwheatPillow · 05/12/2008 17:54

YABU if you are then going to call a toddler thuggish/bruiser/chunky and a little bloody git.

compo · 05/12/2008 17:57

you can't call a 17 month old a thug and a git

it's not nice

CharCharGaboriaInExcelsisDeo · 05/12/2008 17:58

Definitely yabu and that you would talk about a baby like that! That's what children do, they have no empathy or control. Yes the mother should speak in a derogatory fashion about your ds, but you're hardly an angel yourself. 'Little bloody git' indeed!